Eight Hallmarks of a Healthy Relationship
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Caucasian;West Coast; Husband sometimes breathes fire; hence his nickname Dragon & mine Mrs. Dragon
Posts: 176
Eight Hallmarks of a Healthy Relationship
Since coming to this forum, Ive read so many stories written by people who have been involved with an addict or an alcoholic; people who have been living in unfulfilling, or even self-damaging relationships.
It made me really take a hard look at the relationship that I have with my husband. (I realized Im a lucky girl !) .
I ran across an article recently, and I found it to accurately depict the relationship that I am blessed to have with my husband. I wanted to share it here because it made me think about my son; and what I hope he too will have one day when he finds himself ready to participate in a healthy relationship.
So for others who might find it useful; here are what I consider to be eight hallmarks of a healthy relationship:
Emotional Support
You and your partner can take refuge in your relationship during times of distress or need, and feel a sense of comfort and relief from connecting with each other.
Acceptance and Love
Both you and your partner feel fully accepted and loved for who you are. This is true even when you disagree.
Appreciation
You both value your relationship and consider it a priority, You devote enough time to nurture and enjoy it.
Security
You both feel supported as you explore your individual goals outside the relationship. It’s important however, that these activities are not destructive, such as a spouse being so involved in a hobby or other pursuit that there is not time for the relationship.
Trust
You and your partner trust each other to act in ways that support the relationship. You also trust each other to be emotionally available when needed.
Comfort with Intimacy
You are both comfortable with sharing your intimate thoughts and vulnerable feelings. You are at ease with depending on each other (also called interdependence); while maintaining your separate needs and identities.
*please note* interdependence is a healthy dynamic between partners; It is NOT co-dependence which is a dysfunctional unhealthy dynamic.
Individual Self Worth
You each have a sense of self worth that is separate from, though supported by your relationship. In a healthy relationship partners don’t have to choose between feeling close, and being able to be themselves.
Effective, Caring Conflict Mnagement
You talk about distressing events or aspects of your relationship in a mutually respectful way. You attend to each other’s distress, helping ease it, and then move on to solving the problem as a team.
It made me really take a hard look at the relationship that I have with my husband. (I realized Im a lucky girl !) .
I ran across an article recently, and I found it to accurately depict the relationship that I am blessed to have with my husband. I wanted to share it here because it made me think about my son; and what I hope he too will have one day when he finds himself ready to participate in a healthy relationship.
So for others who might find it useful; here are what I consider to be eight hallmarks of a healthy relationship:
Emotional Support
You and your partner can take refuge in your relationship during times of distress or need, and feel a sense of comfort and relief from connecting with each other.
Acceptance and Love
Both you and your partner feel fully accepted and loved for who you are. This is true even when you disagree.
Appreciation
You both value your relationship and consider it a priority, You devote enough time to nurture and enjoy it.
Security
You both feel supported as you explore your individual goals outside the relationship. It’s important however, that these activities are not destructive, such as a spouse being so involved in a hobby or other pursuit that there is not time for the relationship.
Trust
You and your partner trust each other to act in ways that support the relationship. You also trust each other to be emotionally available when needed.
Comfort with Intimacy
You are both comfortable with sharing your intimate thoughts and vulnerable feelings. You are at ease with depending on each other (also called interdependence); while maintaining your separate needs and identities.
*please note* interdependence is a healthy dynamic between partners; It is NOT co-dependence which is a dysfunctional unhealthy dynamic.
Individual Self Worth
You each have a sense of self worth that is separate from, though supported by your relationship. In a healthy relationship partners don’t have to choose between feeling close, and being able to be themselves.
Effective, Caring Conflict Mnagement
You talk about distressing events or aspects of your relationship in a mutually respectful way. You attend to each other’s distress, helping ease it, and then move on to solving the problem as a team.
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