Situation Now
Situation Now
I did not go to the hospital for the procedure my son was having. I spoke with the nurses' station and was told it was a rather common test.
Then today more information came out about test results. Seems the leaky heart valve, the aorta, is rather serious and he needs open heart surgery to replace the valve. It cannot be repaired. The problem with this is the infection.
The infection in his bloodstream is still unknown and has been sent to state lab. No results yet. A valve replacement also means foreign material placed in the body, which also increases chance of infection.
Doctors want to send him home with another pic line. There were so many issues with it last time, and it wound up being removed. Also they could not find home health care to take him as a patient. He can't go home with pic line without the HHC. The doctors want him to be on antibiotics for a month or so and then have the surgery in 4-6 weeks.
He is quite down and expressed a willingness to undergo a new experimental method of this surgery so he could "do something good on his way out".
I don't want him to go home to the unsanitary conditions he lives in. I hope they don't find home care. Also the exGF is coming home and has been talking with him. They are not good for each other, but a little bit of me wants her to move in and help care for him. If anything happens to him, I'd gladly leave her the trashy camper if she could make all of this easier.
But what i want doesn't matter. i can't control it or cure it. I just pray for wisdom and peace during the next few months and commmon sense to keep my mouth closed and a miracle healing of all ills for son...that's all.
Then today more information came out about test results. Seems the leaky heart valve, the aorta, is rather serious and he needs open heart surgery to replace the valve. It cannot be repaired. The problem with this is the infection.
The infection in his bloodstream is still unknown and has been sent to state lab. No results yet. A valve replacement also means foreign material placed in the body, which also increases chance of infection.
Doctors want to send him home with another pic line. There were so many issues with it last time, and it wound up being removed. Also they could not find home health care to take him as a patient. He can't go home with pic line without the HHC. The doctors want him to be on antibiotics for a month or so and then have the surgery in 4-6 weeks.
He is quite down and expressed a willingness to undergo a new experimental method of this surgery so he could "do something good on his way out".
I don't want him to go home to the unsanitary conditions he lives in. I hope they don't find home care. Also the exGF is coming home and has been talking with him. They are not good for each other, but a little bit of me wants her to move in and help care for him. If anything happens to him, I'd gladly leave her the trashy camper if she could make all of this easier.
But what i want doesn't matter. i can't control it or cure it. I just pray for wisdom and peace during the next few months and commmon sense to keep my mouth closed and a miracle healing of all ills for son...that's all.
Washbe, I am so sorry this isn't getting any better.
Please make certain that the doctor and hospital know that staying with you is not an option. I used to get so upset when medical people would just presume I would let my son move back in and take care of him. I had to make it very very clear that moving to my home was not an option.
Perhaps they will find homecare and if not they should keep him in the hospital. However this unfolds is out of your hands, dear Washbe, it's time you got some rest for yourself.
Keeping your boy and you both in my prayers.
Hugs
Please make certain that the doctor and hospital know that staying with you is not an option. I used to get so upset when medical people would just presume I would let my son move back in and take care of him. I had to make it very very clear that moving to my home was not an option.
Perhaps they will find homecare and if not they should keep him in the hospital. However this unfolds is out of your hands, dear Washbe, it's time you got some rest for yourself.
Keeping your boy and you both in my prayers.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 267
I'm so sorry. Have you spoken to the hospital social worker about all of his issues at home? They can be an advocate for keeping him hospitalized - or sending him to a rehab facility (not drug rehab- medical rehab for skilled nursing care).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Sending my prayers for you and your son Washbe. You are an amazing Mother who only wants the best outcome for her son. I pray his heart is touched by God's love and he realizes what a gift life is and can be.
Hugs
Teresa
Hugs
Teresa
Ann, living with me is absolutly not an option. As difficult as all of these trips are, at least it's not 24/7. We don't see things the same way and tend to argue.
I feel like I should call the nurses' station or someone to let them know of his living conditions, but that's me trying to control things. Not that I'm above it, as most of you know, but if he can't get home health care, they can't send him home with a pic line, so I'm holding out hope for that.
I think of all the changes I need to make in MY life and wonder what I'm waiting for...walking, losing weight, seeing a doctor, praying, and keeping things in order, focusing on being grateful, etc. It tough out there! And hard to do when one just feels tired.
There are so many blessings in my life. This board is one of them! Continually pray for peace and freedom for all of you.
I feel like I should call the nurses' station or someone to let them know of his living conditions, but that's me trying to control things. Not that I'm above it, as most of you know, but if he can't get home health care, they can't send him home with a pic line, so I'm holding out hope for that.
I think of all the changes I need to make in MY life and wonder what I'm waiting for...walking, losing weight, seeing a doctor, praying, and keeping things in order, focusing on being grateful, etc. It tough out there! And hard to do when one just feels tired.
There are so many blessings in my life. This board is one of them! Continually pray for peace and freedom for all of you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 32
I think of all the changes I need to make in MY life and wonder what I'm waiting for...walking, losing weight, seeing a doctor, praying, and keeping things in order, focusing on being grateful, etc. It tough out there! And hard to do when one just feels tired.
There are so many blessings in my life. This board is one of them! Continually pray for peace and freedom for all of you.
There are so many blessings in my life. This board is one of them! Continually pray for peace and freedom for all of you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Dear washbe,
Such wise advice and love here. Please take care of yourself. God has your son.
Let go as much as you can. Please rest. We are walking and praying with you. The Mama Posse and God can carry this for you for you while you rest.
Healing prayers for your son.
Ellen
Such wise advice and love here. Please take care of yourself. God has your son.
Let go as much as you can. Please rest. We are walking and praying with you. The Mama Posse and God can carry this for you for you while you rest.
Healing prayers for your son.
Ellen
Washbe, Maybe another health care professional can verify this...but I am told if you refuse to pick him up, they will keep him there or send him to a rehab (not a drug rehab). Just a thought to keep him there and getting the medical attention he needs.
(((((washbe)))))
As stated several times above. Be very clear with his nurses and his doctors about his home living situation and how very unsanitary it is. If they cannot get HHC then in all likelihood they will find him a Rehab Nursing home where he will live and be taken care of for the 4 to 6 weeks until the valve replacement can be done.
And after the replacement he will again be in the hospital for a while and then probably back to the Rehab Nursing Home for another 4 weeks or so until he is healed and infection free.
Maybe, just maybe, with all of this happening to him and he will have been clean for a while he may become willing to get the help he needs for his addiction.
Continuing to send healing thoughts and prayers for you and your son.
Love and hugs,
As stated several times above. Be very clear with his nurses and his doctors about his home living situation and how very unsanitary it is. If they cannot get HHC then in all likelihood they will find him a Rehab Nursing home where he will live and be taken care of for the 4 to 6 weeks until the valve replacement can be done.
And after the replacement he will again be in the hospital for a while and then probably back to the Rehab Nursing Home for another 4 weeks or so until he is healed and infection free.
Maybe, just maybe, with all of this happening to him and he will have been clean for a while he may become willing to get the help he needs for his addiction.
Continuing to send healing thoughts and prayers for you and your son.
Love and hugs,
Hi Washbe.... just want to let you know I'm here, thinking of you and praying for all of you. As tough as it is, this could be the greatest blessing of all. Please remember to take some time for self-care, ok? XOXO
So sorry to hear your situation is still so complex, but I am happy you are making steps to care for yourself. I don't think there's anything "codie" about letting many people at the hospital know he cannot come live with you and that he doesn't have an adequate living situation. The more you tell, the better he will be and the better you will be able to relax a bit and care for yourself. This is more about information sharing. Take good care.
Yeah! He stays in the hospital. HHC would not take him. The infection must be cleared up before surgery, so he has a picc line again. His propensity for infection makes the surgery risky, but there's little choice.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement and prayers. Will be seeing him tomorrow.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement and prayers. Will be seeing him tomorrow.
hi Washbe...I was just getting ready to say that my guess would be that they keep him. I work in acute care and have had many patients in this very situation. The social workers and the medical staff work closely together and try to get it figured out.
I'm glad that he is staying where he is....we have a number of "residents" in this same situation. They all have a very special place in my heart. As do their loved ones - I certainly "get" the circumstances. I wish that I could say that this is an uncommon situation but it's not.
I'm glad that you are taking care of "you"....this disease of addiction sure does teach you about doing that, doesn't it?
Glad that your boy is in a safe place for now....sending all of you prayers.
I'm glad that he is staying where he is....we have a number of "residents" in this same situation. They all have a very special place in my heart. As do their loved ones - I certainly "get" the circumstances. I wish that I could say that this is an uncommon situation but it's not.
I'm glad that you are taking care of "you"....this disease of addiction sure does teach you about doing that, doesn't it?
Glad that your boy is in a safe place for now....sending all of you prayers.
Decided to stay the night with son at hospital. He's sleeping. I'm so thankful he was allowed to stay here. It's going to be a long road ahead for him. Praying his heart can wait until the infection is clear. He is humble, quiet, and a little worried.
I would love for him to have some clean and happy years ahead, but right now, just thankful for the moment. Isn't it weird how it takes so little to bring a moment of peace, in spite of lurking danger?
A this moment, none of the past matters. How he has treated me doesn't matter. He is, for a few minutes, my son again.
I would love for him to have some clean and happy years ahead, but right now, just thankful for the moment. Isn't it weird how it takes so little to bring a moment of peace, in spite of lurking danger?
A this moment, none of the past matters. How he has treated me doesn't matter. He is, for a few minutes, my son again.
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