ELynn

They know how to get you, they know what to say and what to do to pull at those heart strings. Even though he is by far the last person I have any desire to communicate with or even see, I once loved him. It sucks. They can't just let you be, he felt the need to send me a message to tell me I was right, that karma's a bitch, that he's moving across the country, and knows I must be happy without him in my life, and that he will stay out of it. Didn't ask for anything. Yet, I know him all too well. He's digging for a reaction. Any reaction, negative or positive. I haven't even told anyone he sent it, but I needed to vent somewhere because it is bothering me. I see right through what he's doing, the self deprecating, please pity me self destructive cycle of insanity. Yet I've seen it too many times, 4 years worth. He doesn't change his playbook. He just changes the people he surrounds himself with.

Has anyone out there had the reappearing XABF? I've done everything I can but he just keeps popping up. Is this going to be the rest of my life? He just reappears to interject and remind me of all the sh*t he did, and his regrets? Like please, go, let me be!

suki44883

If you truly don't want to hear from him, then block his number or change yours. You are going to have to be the one to cut off all ties, if that is what you want to do.

ELynn

I have already done all those things - twice! Changed my phone number, he called my work phone which I cannot change, I've changed my email, he's blocked on Facebook, I even moved away, I have his phone #, and all his family members blocked on my phone carrier.

I have been the one to cut off ties. It's more than that, and to be quite honest, with him, not that simple. He finds a way, my family and friends know the extend I have gone to vacate him from my life. It's been tiring, expensive and a royal pain in the a**. I have no desire to be in contact with him. After I kicked him out he rented an apt with his new gf, 5 blocks away from me!

Just asking to know that someone has been in these shoes, and how they got through it.

dollydo

I would agree with Suki.

My ex didn't get the message, he kept coming to my house and sent me snail mail (which I tossed w/o reading). I got a restraining order, had him arrested...bye, bye haven't heard from him since,

Ann

If he is circumventing your obvious attempts to avoid hearing from him, by calling you at work, I agree, I would get a restraining order.

When someone is this persistent they become like a stalker, trying to outmaneuver you and that gets dangerous.

Please take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to make him stay away.

Hugs because this cannot be easy for you.

zoso77

In the case of my AXGF, she did a few highly provocative things when it was all over. And each time it happened, I ignored it. One day while I was at work, she went to my house to leave her housekey and her birthday present on a thread hung on my door knocker, PLUS a CD of my band's music. It was hateful. And I let it go, because engaged with a sick person doesn't go well. Eventually, they get the idea and take their act on the road.

Just let it slide. But if he does it again, RO time...

ELynn

I have avoided a RO as much as possible, but everyone's right, I need to be careful, and do what I have too. Right now I'm letting it slide, and not reacting. Previously I would have reacted with high anxiety, calling everyone, or engaging in emotional warfare with him. I got the sick feeling today, the uneasiness, but nowhere's near how I would've felt just a year ago. I just needed for someone to listen, so thank you to anyone who read or posted, it's truly appreciated!

Faithlove

I agree with everyone else. If this continues, you should see about getting a restraining order or filing charges for stalking.

Be safe and good for you for refusing to take his bait!