Now his GF is texting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Enfield, IL
Posts: 45
Now his GF is texting
Really now ...my son has been blowing up my phone all weekend for this that and the other thing that is all irrelevant to me I have stayed strong only once I think about the above crap ...I took someones advice and just text him I was busy ...now his GF is texting me I did not reply so she sends another saying she wants to talk about my son.This girl just got out of rehab they had broken up and now apparently are back together I really don't know and I really don't care
What I do know is I have no desire to keep discussing this with her or him or even my mother. I so desperately want to be able to smile again ...I want the feeling in my chest to subside ..I want my heart not to race with the sound of my phone.
Besides I live thousand of miles away what does she want me to do but worry ........I feel better having just typed this I really want to text her back and tell her there is nothing more I can do for him and don't really want to hear anymore about it but something tels me if I respond it will open up communication which is exactly what I don't want ..UG
What I do know is I have no desire to keep discussing this with her or him or even my mother. I so desperately want to be able to smile again ...I want the feeling in my chest to subside ..I want my heart not to race with the sound of my phone.
Besides I live thousand of miles away what does she want me to do but worry ........I feel better having just typed this I really want to text her back and tell her there is nothing more I can do for him and don't really want to hear anymore about it but something tels me if I respond it will open up communication which is exactly what I don't want ..UG
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
I so desperately want to be able to smile again ...I want the feeling in my chest to subside ..I want my heart not to race with the sound of my phone.
I really know these feelings. Hey, guess what?! You will smile again. It will happen. This too shall pass.
I can't remember if you've said that you are going to any Alanon or Naranon Meetings, but I do hope that you are. It's wonderful to be able to talk with & be with others who have or are still going through what you are. It's a great stress reliever & you'll learn alot of tools for dealing with having an addict/alcoholic in your life. (or two) The more I attend these meetings, the more I realize how much they help me. And I'm glad that you're here with us, too.
******************{Caring Hugs}}}}}}}}}
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Yeah, it's amazing the tactics that they will use to get what they want.
I would block her number and let it go at that. Nothing positive will come out of texting her back.
Have you thought about Yoga to relieve your stress or how about a nice massage? I also would recommend meetings, sure helped me!
I would block her number and let it go at that. Nothing positive will come out of texting her back.
Have you thought about Yoga to relieve your stress or how about a nice massage? I also would recommend meetings, sure helped me!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree, you don't have to talk to anyone about this if you don't want to.
I always found it best for me to talk to members of my CoDA group, my sponsor and a few safe friends who didn't get upset or upset me when I shared.
You can simply block her number, or send her one text saying "this all is very troubling to me and I am working on my own issues right now so I know you will understand when I block your number"...and then do it.
Some of the wonderful lessons of recovery I learned were...
"No" is a complete sentence.
"We" are not the solution to anyone's problems.
It's okay to take care of ourselves without even considering what others think. What others think of me is none of my business...and I am none of theirs.
We don't have to explain how we feel...we can just "feel".
So many more...but the gist is, we get to take care of ourselves first as we have no control of how or whether anyone else takes care of theirselves.
Hugs from a mama who knows.
I always found it best for me to talk to members of my CoDA group, my sponsor and a few safe friends who didn't get upset or upset me when I shared.
You can simply block her number, or send her one text saying "this all is very troubling to me and I am working on my own issues right now so I know you will understand when I block your number"...and then do it.
Some of the wonderful lessons of recovery I learned were...
"No" is a complete sentence.
"We" are not the solution to anyone's problems.
It's okay to take care of ourselves without even considering what others think. What others think of me is none of my business...and I am none of theirs.
We don't have to explain how we feel...we can just "feel".
So many more...but the gist is, we get to take care of ourselves first as we have no control of how or whether anyone else takes care of theirselves.
Hugs from a mama who knows.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
You have no more control over the GF or your own mother than you do your son's choices. The only thing here you control is your own reaction.
Not reacting is also a choice. No response says it all.
You might also want to consider letting your mom know that you choose to not participate in convos about your son. If she persists, excuse yourself and gently hang up.
Your son is going to live the life he chooses, no matter what you do or not.
Not reacting is also a choice. No response says it all.
You might also want to consider letting your mom know that you choose to not participate in convos about your son. If she persists, excuse yourself and gently hang up.
Your son is going to live the life he chooses, no matter what you do or not.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 267
It seems like your phone is causing you a lot of stress. Life was so much simpler when we were not accessible 24/7, wherever we were.
You have several options.
*Delete the messages without reading them.
*Be a broken record - send the same response (tjp613's "There is nothing more that I can do for you" is a great one) to each and every text.
*Block the numbers of everyone you don't want to hear from.
*Get a new number.
*Turn off the phone, and only check it every few days. If you need a phone for your daily life, get a second phone, with a new number, and use that for people you want to talk to.
*Continue to participate in this dance of insanity.
This is hard. I know you are constantly wondering if he is okay. When they are calling, it reinforces that they are still alive. The way to peace is to let go - and I have found working the steps with a sponsor a great way to do that.
You have several options.
*Delete the messages without reading them.
*Be a broken record - send the same response (tjp613's "There is nothing more that I can do for you" is a great one) to each and every text.
*Block the numbers of everyone you don't want to hear from.
*Get a new number.
*Turn off the phone, and only check it every few days. If you need a phone for your daily life, get a second phone, with a new number, and use that for people you want to talk to.
*Continue to participate in this dance of insanity.
This is hard. I know you are constantly wondering if he is okay. When they are calling, it reinforces that they are still alive. The way to peace is to let go - and I have found working the steps with a sponsor a great way to do that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Enfield, IL
Posts: 45
Thanks it does help to post on here ..and ya know it doesn't really matter what she wants to talk about I know he is in bad shape ...its not that I don't care ...I just can't change it ..I wish I could but I can't and I realize that only he can and until then I need to keep my contact to the minimum ...for my own sake
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