Just wanted to share!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Just wanted to share!
My God child became addicted to pills her senior year in college. She worked a program and got clean. During that time she met her "prince charming", who we all knew wasn't.
She moved away with him to a neighboring state, got pregnant and was completely under his control. My sister was smart, she allowed her to make her own mistakes but continued to be a loving, supportive mother.
Three years later, she found a great therapist a few months back, went back to AA and got a full time job in her field. She knew she it was time to get of this relationship.
She had never left her beautiful daughter with anyone. She really didn't even trust her bf to watch her. She was overly protective but with help from her therapist....she released much of her anxieties. She created a break up notebook -tabs and all and kept it at work! (lol I just love her so much.) She planned what needed to be done for about a month, She had sections in her notebook about finances, child care, separating their property, The language of letting Go, how to break up with a controlling person, etc. She asked her mother to come up and be there for support - a "just in case" he didn't take it well.
She is free! She sounds so healthy and strong! I am so impressed with her. He has been trying to manipulate her back and it wont work. She is moving on!
He was warned when they met, she wasn't healthy. He didn't care and seemed to take advantage of that. She got healthy, he didn't and now its over. The other day - he told her he was angry because he now knows she had been planning it for a while. She said "That's ok, you have every right to your feelings" and ended the conversation.
Did I tell you how much I just love her! Her message is - "If I can do this, anyone can!" Oh and she loved the FOG acronym. She says I WAS in a FOG and didn't even know it.
P.S. I bought a notebook!
She moved away with him to a neighboring state, got pregnant and was completely under his control. My sister was smart, she allowed her to make her own mistakes but continued to be a loving, supportive mother.
Three years later, she found a great therapist a few months back, went back to AA and got a full time job in her field. She knew she it was time to get of this relationship.
She had never left her beautiful daughter with anyone. She really didn't even trust her bf to watch her. She was overly protective but with help from her therapist....she released much of her anxieties. She created a break up notebook -tabs and all and kept it at work! (lol I just love her so much.) She planned what needed to be done for about a month, She had sections in her notebook about finances, child care, separating their property, The language of letting Go, how to break up with a controlling person, etc. She asked her mother to come up and be there for support - a "just in case" he didn't take it well.
She is free! She sounds so healthy and strong! I am so impressed with her. He has been trying to manipulate her back and it wont work. She is moving on!
He was warned when they met, she wasn't healthy. He didn't care and seemed to take advantage of that. She got healthy, he didn't and now its over. The other day - he told her he was angry because he now knows she had been planning it for a while. She said "That's ok, you have every right to your feelings" and ended the conversation.
Did I tell you how much I just love her! Her message is - "If I can do this, anyone can!" Oh and she loved the FOG acronym. She says I WAS in a FOG and didn't even know it.
P.S. I bought a notebook!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
[QUOTE=LoveMeNot;3589657] She said "That's ok, you have every right to your feelings" and ended the conversation.
Best conversation closer I've heard in a long time.
Glad to hear your Goddaughter is thriving. She sounds brave and wise.
Best conversation closer I've heard in a long time.
Glad to hear your Goddaughter is thriving. She sounds brave and wise.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
She said "That's ok, you have every right to your feelings" and ended the conversation.
Best conversation closer I've heard in a long time.
Glad to hear your Goddaughter is thriving. She sounds brave and wise.
Best conversation closer I've heard in a long time.
Glad to hear your Goddaughter is thriving. She sounds brave and wise.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
When her addiction was discovered, I flew her here for 2 weeks. I let her detox here (my kids were away) and we spent hours finding her a program. I also spoiled the heck out of her because thats how I was raised. Godmothers, Aunts and Grandparents were the fun people who spoiled us. We did did facials, massages, mani/pedis, dinners, movies, shopping, new clothes, etc. When she got home, we spoke several times a day for months while she was in her IOP. Just recently, she told me she was so busy that she didn't have time for a meeting, I told her that's when she needs it most. She went and called to say thank you!
I guess many would say I was a big enabler and my codependency issues were raging. Despite whether I was right or wrong in my efforts, she got clean and has stayed clean. And every once in a while, she still says thank you for being there when I needed you and my heart (and/or maybe my ego) feels good for that moment.
I am not trying to trigger anyone. She was ready and I just was there. It was her recovery and she did the work. I just helped point her in the right direction. I am sure it filled a need in me too, I just didn't know it at the time.
The confusing part for me still is ........the difference between loving and helping and enabling and being codependent. I don't regret what I did and I thank GOD she found her recovery.
I guess many would say I was a big enabler and my codependency issues were raging. Despite whether I was right or wrong in my efforts, she got clean and has stayed clean. And every once in a while, she still says thank you for being there when I needed you and my heart (and/or maybe my ego) feels good for that moment.
I am not trying to trigger anyone. She was ready and I just was there. It was her recovery and she did the work. I just helped point her in the right direction. I am sure it filled a need in me too, I just didn't know it at the time.
The confusing part for me still is ........the difference between loving and helping and enabling and being codependent. I don't regret what I did and I thank GOD she found her recovery.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot 
The confusing part for me still is ........the difference between loving and helping and enabling and being codependent.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by YearForMe
No....mine does not. But good idea!
But....does yours have a name? Mine is called The Manifesto....LOL
But....does yours have a name? Mine is called The Manifesto....LOL
hmmm....a name?? How about....
SURPRISE!!
:rotfxko
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