Tryingtoforgive

Hi all,
So my RA is home now from detox and we are on day 2. I know it is only 10:30 am but so far today is good. He hasn't been feeling sick and he is taking his suboxone and will attend a meeting today.

So yesterday when we were at his parents home his mom said to him "maybe you shouldn't work for a while." Shouldn't he work? so that he can try and focus his mind on something other than his old life. I am new to this so I am not sure what to say. She looked at me and asked if I agreed. All I could do was shrug my shoulders.

He still has a job and he can return back to work tomorrow. It just so happened and worked out that in his construction job they were laid off last week due to inspections so there wasn't any work and he went to detox. So he can go to work tomorrow and continue to make an honest living where he can in turn start to pay of his many debts, pay his truck payment, and pay his bills. Right?

Any thoughts on this? I haven't said anything to my RA and I never agreed nor disagreed with his mom. This is just been sitting in my mind and I am curious.

Titanic

That's a very important question. That is why some As are in longer rehab, halfway houses, three-quarter houses, etc. Easing into the stress of "real life" work without their coping DOC. It's something for him and his aftercare or recovery professionals to deal with. Not for the family to figure out, unless the A works in the family business.

After an appropriate number of months, your RA will have face full-time work though. I'm curious how many months that would be for most As.

SeekingGrowth

I guess I would say it's his decision. He needs to decide what is best for his recovery. Regardless of which way he goes, he needs to fill up his time. Unstructured time and boredom is a recipe for relapse. This would suggest to me that going to work at his job would be best. On the other hand, I don't know what kind of triggers may lurk there, if any. Whichever way he goes, it is important that he makes time to work a strong recovery program

Tryingtoforgive

No trust fund, nothing in savings (if anything it is very little), and his truck isn't in his name. So really it seems like he has no choice but to work but, is that good to jump right back in full time in the beg of recovery. I would think it would be because he needs to do something with his days. He can't just sit around for hours a day and then just leave for a couple hours a day for his meetings and counseling. There are a lot of hours in a week.

kyles

That's a tough one. In a way, I think working will be good because it'll occupy his time. Like someone else already mentioned, we don't know what triggers could lurk at work though. Didn't you say he talked to you about everything that triggers his use? Is there anything work-related? For my bf, there's nothing actually at work that's a trigger, but part of his daily routine was to use right in the middle of the day at work. I worry it'll be hard for him to not follow that routine anymore. What will he do during that time he would normally get high? Did you bf use right after work? Did he normally go somewhere after work instead of coming right home? If so, he'll have to adjust his schedule and commit to going to work, coming home or to his meetings, etc.

SundaysChild

How he manages his recovery is his decision. That said, he has not begun a program of recovery yet. He's had a few days of detox, which begins the physical recovery, but that's not a program.

Jumping back into his old life is a recipe for relapse - even after a stint in rehab. If he is serious about recovery, you'll see him trying to make more than one meeting a day for a while, as he gets his bearings, and spending time outside of meetings with AA/NA members. He is very early into all of this and has a lot to learn.