I turned my back on him?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
I turned my back on him?
My xah had an affaIr with another woman for 7 months. He snorted cocaIne. I had no idea. When is all came out (she called me and told me everything) I was floored. I told him he needed to go to rehab. If he didn't, he needed to leave. He left. I begged him back for months. He ignored me. Totally abandoned my son and I. Left me with no money. My parents had to support us. Didn't hear from him for a month...just a couple days before the divorce.
You know what he said to me (twice now) that I turned my back on him. WHAT? This makes no sense to me. Have you ever had an addict in your life say such things to you? I mean I begged him back after knowing he cheated, stole and abandoned. He totally betrayed us. But I turned my back on him. Delusional.
Makes no sense.
You know what he said to me (twice now) that I turned my back on him. WHAT? This makes no sense to me. Have you ever had an addict in your life say such things to you? I mean I begged him back after knowing he cheated, stole and abandoned. He totally betrayed us. But I turned my back on him. Delusional.
Makes no sense.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,863
Of course it makes no sense. Addicts are masters at turning everything around so blame can be place anywhere except on themselves.
The guy is a jerk and the best thing you can do now is to go ahead and turn your back on him.
The guy is a jerk and the best thing you can do now is to go ahead and turn your back on him.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Of course it makes no sense. He's going to punish you for standing up for yourself.
No way he will let you get one over on him.
Users, addict, mentally unwell, whatever you want to call them, are famous for playing with words, your mind and making NO SENSE whatsoever.
You stood your ground, then you begged for him back, putting him in the drivers seat. Take your power back and walk away from a cheating user, Easier said than done, but they rarely, if ever change.
sad but true. Been in your shoes more than once....it sucks
No way he will let you get one over on him.
Users, addict, mentally unwell, whatever you want to call them, are famous for playing with words, your mind and making NO SENSE whatsoever.
You stood your ground, then you begged for him back, putting him in the drivers seat. Take your power back and walk away from a cheating user, Easier said than done, but they rarely, if ever change.
sad but true. Been in your shoes more than once....it sucks
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Georgia
Posts: 43
After dragging me through hell, cheating on me multiple times, stalking me, choking me, manipulating me, and LITERALLY every other hellish thing you could possibly DO to someone you were in an intimate relationship with...my Ex Addict Boyfriend of almost eight years told me I QUOTE "Sh*t on his heart."
Me. The one who LITERALLY stuck with him through hell and back.
Wow.
Don't pay any attention to what your ex said about you. It's meant to maim, hurt, and destroy you. And who the hell cares what he says if that's his intention? To hurt, maim, and destroy you? I say screw him.
You are MUCH better off.
Promise.
*hugs*
Me. The one who LITERALLY stuck with him through hell and back.
Wow.
Don't pay any attention to what your ex said about you. It's meant to maim, hurt, and destroy you. And who the hell cares what he says if that's his intention? To hurt, maim, and destroy you? I say screw him.
You are MUCH better off.
Promise.
*hugs*
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Up and onwards... :)
Posts: 274
My AH was convinced I abandoned him and our marriage until the day he died. That's how twisted addiction makes someone's brain.
The key is not to give their delusional accusations any merit/thought/pondering - easier said than done. I myself, am just beginning to release this and other untruths said about me.
It's all a process...
The key is not to give their delusional accusations any merit/thought/pondering - easier said than done. I myself, am just beginning to release this and other untruths said about me.
It's all a process...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
You DID not turn your back on him, you went above and beyond what you should have while enduring his abuse. What he is doing now is blame shifting. It is manipulative and the mark of a sick liar! You survived and are continuing to survive the tsunami he has brought on your life. And yes, my AH is the same way, but he says I am just seeking vengeance on him while he is doing all the right things. After they get done abusing us, they try to make us the ad guys. And you know what, sometimes turning your back on abuse, lies, cheating, addiction is what needs to be done to make a healthy life for self and child. It's not turning your back, it is setting a healthy boundary. ((hugs))
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Over here.
Posts: 369
my boyfriend is also in the midst of blaming me for everything and telling me i'm evil and i've kicked him while he was down and how can he get well with things like this. i told him i can no longer in any way support his addiction or his denial/minimization. he said i stabbed him the face. i'm heartless. i'm f***ed. i don't know what i'm talking about. i'm cruel. i'm self-righteous. i'm not being and haven't been supportive or encouraging. i go about things all wrong. it's almost all i've heard. he also brings up my past relationships and tries to hit me where he knows it hurts--for ex. "you are your parents." "you're nothing but a scared little girl." and then, suddenly the tone changes and he is so sorry and really, truly loves me and can't believe what he's done. when i don't respond with sunshine and roses, it's back to what a c**t and b***h i am. crazy.
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