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could he have relapsed?

Old 09-08-2012, 06:10 AM
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could he have relapsed?

Hi. I was dating a man for the last 8 months who had a dependancy on pain pills before I met him. He went thrum rehab and was clean for 6 months when I met him. He attended meetings regularly and even invited me to his One Year. Then suddenly he began to pull away. He said he was messed up in the head and needed space. A few weeks later he breaks up with me-completely unexpectedly. On top of that he blocks me from calling him. Defriends me and has family members I met block me. Something is not adding up. We never had a major fight for him to just erase me. His friend of 21 years who works w him believes he may be back on pills. He says he sees the signs. Mood changes and profuse sweating amongst others. I never knew him when he was using so I don't know what I would have looked for. Would someone who started using again cut off the person that might begin to suspect?
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:13 AM
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It's possible, perhaps even likely, but does it really matter at this point? He has evidently moved on from the relationship for whatever reason. It's time for you to do the same. There are a lot of great guys out there who have never had an addiction problem. You deserve one of those guys.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:14 AM
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There's no telling- maybe.. Don't beat yourself up and take care of #1 now.. you deserve much better.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:25 AM
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Thank you. I have never had this happen before and I truly cared about this man. I cant understand what happened. We had such a great relationship and then he just changed and treated me like a stranger. I hope he hasn't relapsed. Even though he hurt me I'm still concerned
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:28 AM
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It is just a very small glimpse of what life is like with an addict. There is always the possibility of relapse. They can disappear with no notice, come back with no notice, treat you like crap, then turn around and tell you how much they love you. You are much, MUCH better off to just let this one go. No need to invest any more time in someone who would do this so early in the relationship.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:29 AM
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If he's relapsed he has given you a priceless gift by cutting you off. Accept it, and move on with your life. It may be difficult, but by trying to focus on the "why" and his behavior you will make yourself crazy.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:37 AM
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Thanks again. I'm getting there. And you are right-it is making me crazy because I will prob never know. I agree he did me a favor if he has relapsed but I would have still been there as a friend if he needed. He didn't need to cut all ties with me
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:39 AM
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I agree - he has given you a priceless gift. In many cases they would do just the opposite, suck you in further, move in with you, lose their job, steal from you, and betray all trust you have in them. And thus begins the roller coaster ride from hell that can last a lifetime....

Be grateful.
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
It is just a very small glimpse of what life is like with an addict. There is always the possibility of relapse. They can disappear with no notice, come back with no notice, treat you like crap, then turn around and tell you how much they love you.
Good news is that you missed out on gallons of the usual lying, manipulation, excuses & other "isms" that go in their concoctions. Consider yourself lucky that you don't have to unpeel an onion-full of layers of blame as to why he left you!

Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
You are much, MUCH better off to just let this one go. No need to invest any more time in someone who would do this so early in the relationship.
You can say that again!!! And, if he had been following his program for his own sake, he would have heeded the "no new romantic or sexual relationships in the first year" guideline! Relapse chances are high when the A doesn't follow the program but does the A's own one.

Our best to you!
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