Miller05

when my husband admitted he had a coke problem, he showed me his stash. in the box he showed me, i saw about 10 balloons all different colors. i was doing some reading, and read that it could be heroin. i found clear straws in my garage, cut on both ends with white residue on it, so I am thinking that was coke.

have you heard of coke being in balloons?

smacked

Yes.

Editing to add.. Does it matter?

dollydo

Doesn't matter, he is an addict...time to focus on you and your child.

story74

When I saw the title I thought the same thing...it doesn't matter. He is an addict.

It's hard bc we try so hard to understand the addict...what are they thinking, doing and feeling. Last night I wondered if mine felt remorse. I was slightly missing him. For me, its been a little longer then a year. It takes time, but the pain slowly diminishes.

Focus on you and your child. He is an addict and cannot be trusted.

Miller05

yes...it does not matter....at all. he is an addict. damn. just me again trying to make reason out of the insanity of addiction.

i looked on his email account and saw that he was communicating with people he used to do drugs with. i need to stop doing that...detach...that is what they tell us to do in nar anon.

sometimes i wish i had a rewind button to my marriage...and when he asked me for my phone number...i said..."nah...not interested." and moved on.

FindingErica

I wish I had followed a nagging voice in the back of my head that said call off the wedding. He wasn't using or anything back then, I just started to feel it might be a mistake to get married

lightseeker

if you find that rewind button PLEASE let me know.....it's been difficult to get past the regrets. I'm learning a lot about acceptance right now.

Windmills

For me the rewind button wouldn't happen, I've got a beautiful daughter and I've learned some **** I really needed to know. If I hadn't met him, it would have been another addict or abusive man. There have been plenty of times I've said to my sponsor though 'I wish I never met him, I hate him'.
Weird how they sell drugs in balloons over there though, here it's the corners of plastic sandwich bags.

Miller05

yeah windmills...i know what you mean. i do have a beautiful son...and he is a miracle. i had such a difficult time getting pregnant...and had a miscarriage...and when i got pregnant with a healthy baby....well...i will forever be thankful to GOD for brining him to me. so, i would not rewind that.

maybe i would just rewind parts of my relationship with my husband. warning signs...red flags would not be ignored. i would have put his ass out a long time ago. sure, it would have been scary...but i would have known that setting clear boundaries with my husband and having him follow them if he wanted to be in our lives would be more important than the fear of being alone.

outtolunch

Attempts to control other people usually begin with " you will/will not...or else...Attempts to control lead to mutual resentments and do not work.

We set boundaries for ourselves to protect ourselves and minor children.

"I will not be in a relationship with a liar and/or cheater and/or stealer" is a boundary. "I will not live with someone in active addiction or early recovery" is a boundary.

The boundary does not seek to control other people's behavior. The other person is free to lie, cheat,steal and use drugs but I am not going to allow it in my life.

A boundary is only as good as our willingness to enforce it. Tough love means being tough with ourselves and putting an end to allowing chaos to run our lives.

Justfor1

Maybe, heroin can be white depending on where you live. It is very strong & the user can get very high from just snorting it. I suppose it matters because he can overdose on the heroin.