Tell me he is a coke addict again...PLEASE!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
You gotta do what you gotta do until you cant do it any longer. I know what its like to have to process everything and take it one day at a time. All of us here know that. We only have today!
Please BE SAFE! You have a child that needs a mother. I say that with respect and understanding.
Please BE SAFE! You have a child that needs a mother. I say that with respect and understanding.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Originally Posted by Miller05 
okay...i am set straight...at least for now i am...this man is on drugs...he is an addict.
for all of my supporters on this site who tell me to..."dump him, drop him like a hot potato, end the marriage...divorce him"....i get it...i do. but we all know it is not that easy...from what i have read on this board, not one person...not one, just up and walked out...and most of the druggies/alcoholics that are talked about have done horrific things...i have done a lot of reading on this site, so i know.
for those that did eventually dump the scumbags and moved on...and can look back and say..."damn, i should have done that years ago, and saved a lot of tears".....i am learning from you. from your experiences...and wisdom. but you know, i have to take this one day at a time.
my husband is the scum of the earth right now...i know...but it will just take time for me to process all of this ****.
so, please forgive me if i ask the same **** over and over and over and over again....i am not an idiot staying with this *******...you know? i just need to figure it all out...and i need my friends here to help me....thank you for giving it to me straight...all the time. i know you have been there.
for all of my supporters on this site who tell me to..."dump him, drop him like a hot potato, end the marriage...divorce him"....i get it...i do. but we all know it is not that easy...from what i have read on this board, not one person...not one, just up and walked out...and most of the druggies/alcoholics that are talked about have done horrific things...i have done a lot of reading on this site, so i know.
for those that did eventually dump the scumbags and moved on...and can look back and say..."damn, i should have done that years ago, and saved a lot of tears".....i am learning from you. from your experiences...and wisdom. but you know, i have to take this one day at a time.
my husband is the scum of the earth right now...i know...but it will just take time for me to process all of this ****.
so, please forgive me if i ask the same **** over and over and over and over again....i am not an idiot staying with this *******...you know? i just need to figure it all out...and i need my friends here to help me....thank you for giving it to me straight...all the time. i know you have been there.
Miller, I have never know anyone on this site to think anyone is an IDIOT.
I have thought I am one at times I have taken my AH back several different times and each time I did I started back at square one.
We all know that each of us take our own path we share what we have experienced in hopes of saving someone else from such pain.
Stay safe.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
I'm 11 months 11 days off cocaine after using for 32 years. I'm 99% sure your H is addicted, and even though no money is missing right now, I wouldn't let him near anything that is valuable to you. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Up and onwards... :)
Posts: 274
Hey Miller - hope u are doing ok.
The biggest thing you said that resonated with me is this:
"he is not like the people on tv...looking drugged out, skinny, crazy, talking wierd...you know what i mean."
that's a huge excuse to be in denial - my AH died last week of an overdose - and he was never one of these things - when I saw him brain dead in the hospital, he still looked gorgeous for feck sake!!
ANY use of drugs is bad. Period. One wrong "casual" hit will kill and believe me, you don't want to be there when it happens.
I thank God I wasn't. I think it really would have messed me up. I was separated from my AH for 8 months - last 4 being almost total N/C. It saved my sanity ... My life ... and I wouldn't change a thing ... even tho I'm sad as heck ... He's at peace now and well, so will I be...
Hugs
The biggest thing you said that resonated with me is this:
"he is not like the people on tv...looking drugged out, skinny, crazy, talking wierd...you know what i mean."
that's a huge excuse to be in denial - my AH died last week of an overdose - and he was never one of these things - when I saw him brain dead in the hospital, he still looked gorgeous for feck sake!!
ANY use of drugs is bad. Period. One wrong "casual" hit will kill and believe me, you don't want to be there when it happens.I thank God I wasn't. I think it really would have messed me up. I was separated from my AH for 8 months - last 4 being almost total N/C. It saved my sanity ... My life ... and I wouldn't change a thing ... even tho I'm sad as heck ... He's at peace now and well, so will I be...
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Up and onwards... :)
Posts: 274
Ps - the violence against you is very sad... and you are right, as hard as it is for many people here, we need to get to that point of no return ourselves. No amount of "you should" "you need" "you better" from well intended members here is going to make a difference. Just like we cannot make the addict "see" their craziness, nor can we expect to do the same to our peers here.
You say your daughter is safe - awesome. Work on you - see and believe that you are worthy of respect, non-abuse (verbally and physically) and keep coming back to read and post. One day, when you are ready (if you dig deep), you will be able to make the hard choice. By then (hopefully sooner than later) it will be an easy one.
We care very much.
You say your daughter is safe - awesome. Work on you - see and believe that you are worthy of respect, non-abuse (verbally and physically) and keep coming back to read and post. One day, when you are ready (if you dig deep), you will be able to make the hard choice. By then (hopefully sooner than later) it will be an easy one.
We care very much.
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