anyone ever get the crying phone message?
 

I'm perplexed.

My xah never says sorry.
Tonight, he randomly called and said basically..."I'm sorry, I have failed you, I miss you, thank you for taking care of my son, I love you (more than once), I'm beautiful, I'm awesome, he can't wait to see US, he misses our son..." and my favorite.. "I know I have been gone, but let's start fresh (how convienent) and feel free to call me if you would like to know what's going on in my life" um, I'm good thanks. Don't really want to know how you and your ***** have partied all summer.

WTF? Oh, and all of this was said to me on the phone his ***** bought him. What does he want? The coke must be low...a sober moment?

IGNORE. So gross.

Btw, this was all on voicemail.

Maybe change your number?

My addicted loved one was my son, but I still got the "I'm sorry, I want to change, really I do" calls. My answer was "Don't tell me, show me".

I'm sorry you had to listen to that.

Hugs

Yuck.....so sorry you even bothered to listen. This is a plea for something.....the something is to be revealed later after you buy in to all of the other stuff. The furthest thing from a sober moment.....

So...first off please acknowledge that you are wonderful, lovable and fantastic person!!!!

Then....excuse me......go scrap this "stuff" off the bottom of your shoes, change your number and go do something wonderful for your wonderful self!!!

Yeah, not unusual behavior. Addicts just are not in their right mind...most for life.

He must be cured. lol

(I wonder what he really wants. Time will reveal more.)

Story, I've gotten those phone calls before too.

"I'm so sorry. I was just upset... I did not mean those words that I called you."
"I did not mean to steal from from you... it was the heroin honey."
"You are my best friend. I love you so very much" + puppy dog eyes except real puppies are more genuine than he ever will be.

all in a sobbing crying context.

Okay, I fell for it many times... but eventually enough is enough. I mean if you accept their apologies by going back, you're setting yourself up for the same abusive cycle. You can forgive and move on. Does not mean you need to forgive, forget and go back.

fast forward one year after we parted ways, he called me again too. Telling me that I'm the most special girl ever and that he will never forget me. To call him if I ever need a friend... Ok why wasnt he there before? No thanks! Cutting him off brought me peace and I intend to keep it that way.

They're just precious, aren't they?

I have novels worth of text messages along those lines. Didn't stop him from threatening me for money though just two days later. I'm wonderful when he wants something from me, that's his first plan of attack.

the last ten minute voice mail I got a few days ago included the line...

"if this is how you want to end our relationship, using a voice message, that's your decision...that's your thing"
our relationship finally ended in February!!!

needless to say, back in the day in the midst of our two year foray into dysfunction and heart ache, I spent hours and hours and hours talking to him, reasoning, pleading, recovery speak, god speak, listening, empathizing...etc etc etc, I guess he forgets all those heart felt conversations that I was spending my life away having

thin air

now, when he gets a couple of months clean he is holier than thou and decides that it's my "issue" if I don't pick up the phone to listen to the newest spin about how he has found god, that I deserve to see his miracle...that he deserves to see my most recent successes...(which are all the good things happening in my life since he's been gone)

wow

:lol: @ he must be cured. That seriously tickled my funny bone.

To the original post, I'm so glad you have the strength and resolve to not buy into that voicemail. There was a time in my life where I would have fell for that, hook, line, and sinker.

My ABF did that but was always drunk when doing so or having a low/come down from Cocaine. Tends to make you very depressed.

And besides guilt even if it's genuine doesn't matter.

He did this to himself. It's not like the guilt has ever stopped him from using.

It doesn't mean anything really. Even if they think they mean what they're saying. It doesn't change the facts.

Can you block his number or ones you notice he calls from a lot?

I have a crying voicemail from my recently arrested ex that went something like "Baby I love you so much and I know I haven't been doing right by you. You deserve so much better. You deserve the man I used to be. A man who can afford to take you out and spoil you and make you smile and I will be that man again I promise, I love you more than I've ever loved any other girl, you mean the world to me I just hope you stick around long enough for me to prove to you how much you mean to me because the thought of being without you makes me want to die"

And yet he chose Coke and alcohol and God knows what else over me...Every. Damn. Time. Before this voicemail and after. It's all ********. Drugs is all they are really capable of caring about.

Doesn't it drive you nuts, him throwing that hook out there in the hopes that you'll bite?

It's an addict being an addict. Nothing more, nothing less.

I would consider changing your number...

ZoSo

I cannot relate how peaceful and wonderful it is to decouple
from the madness........just by changing a phone number.

Crying and apologizing.....
then Imperious and condesdending....
then Cruel and name-calling....

Oh, yes, been on the receiving end of all of these. For my ex-husband, they were all manipulative tactics.

Been there as well, he goes weeks without me hearing anything and then he suddenly wants to make a list of things we can do too make our relationship better yeah OK sure honey place at the top of that list a divorce?

Wow, hydrogirl! You nailed that one.

Yes, I have a collection of those voicemails. Unfortunately, I also have a collection of cruel, name-calling emails. I need to delete any and all of them...

Three weeks ago was my last crying call, I just let it go to voicemail. Something about an accident, followed by a bizarre tale of a series of unfortunate events, followed by... I dunno, I erased it. I didn't call her back.

Have you done this yet Fenway?

Me too.

When that did not work it usually ramped up to the suicide threat. It never ended till I had enough.