My husband is an addict
 

There are so many of "us" on here....wives of addicts.

I'm also a mother to 3 daughers. 2 in elementary school and 1 in High School. My heart is so torn lately....really coming to the conclusion that all of the "promises" are fake. We've been through this before...he was clean the last time for more than 8 months.

My heart hurts for all that my husband will miss out on...and my heart hurts that my daughters will have to life "this" life, for the rest of their lives.

I would appreciate stories of you SURVIVORS. Wives that have children to think about too.

I have lived the past few months worrying about my husband and his addiction. I think it's time to start worrying about my children and all of the hatred and bitterness that is going on.

I've heard that al-anon is helpful in situations like this. I'm sorry for your pain. You will find a way through this for yourself and your children. Hang in there. I've never been in this situation but I wanted to offer my support.

I dont know how much this will help you but i am going thru the same thing i am surviving and have good and bad days my heart hurts for what ive lost it hurts for my children it hurts for there father who is so lost when i was told this i was like thanks alot and duh but one day at a time is how im getting thru it everyday i get a little bit stronger i cant say for him what the future brings because i have no control over that but know you are not alone and you will find the support you need here and in my opinion your strength is a sucess story

Active addicts and those new to recovery make lousy parents.

What can you do to protect your children from the chaos of addiction?
Instead of worrying about and aching over how much your husband will miss out on, pay attention to how much chaos and inconsistentcy your children are experiencing.

They are learning from both of you how to treat others and allow others to treat them.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I have two wonderful children, ages 9 and 10, with my AH. He moved out in April at my insistence. I am only now, 4+ months later, staaaaarting to gradually see differences in the kids. They are beginning to respond more appropriately to boundaries and seem happier and healthier overall. It's a rocky road, and I'm sure we have many more obstacles to come, especially as the kids approach their teen years. But we will get through them together! Children learn what they see, not what you try to tell them. So it's important to keep them away from the chaos of addiction. I wish I had realized that sooner!
Anyway, I am a survivor! My life is not what I ever pictured it would be, and I still grieve over 'what could have been' but I try to stay focused on the future and what IS in my control (not the addiction, which is out of my control). I try to put my kids first in everything, every day. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Moved into my place with my kid little over a month ago. My AH is out of state. When I found out how bad his addiction is, I had so much panic and anxiety. But it a Los all became clear. When I put my kids as first priority, my course of action became clearer. I have three kids. We are doing good and life has an odd new peace.