confused
 

I'm confused. As most of you know, I'm a "double whinner" - I'm an RA, I have/had loved ones who are A's. I know addiction from both sides.

I was not raised as an ACOA, but I have become one when my dad married a woman who is an ACOA, A, and everyother letter you can think of. To her credit, she didn't fall appart until her baby daughter, my stepsister, died in a car wreck and we were left with her baby...most of you have heard me call her the bratlette. Do not get me wrong, I love that child with all my heart, but I do not like the person she has become thanks to generations of dysfunction.

I am in school, have one last semester before graduation I still have fearts/doubts as to how to answer "and you went from being an RN to working at McDonaldo's? Can you explain that?" I've gotten excellent advice, I've had my resume redone by someone who had her's done by a professional. I've been honest to instructors and classmates, even a few people who I do volunteer work with with (holy moly, one is a 30-year recovering alcholocic AND his daughter was a nurse who escaped sanction).

I am living in a house with a sm (stepmom) who is on a major cocktail of drugs. Passing out, slurriing speech, is no big deal. Dad is in denial. I am stressed to the max. I quit smokint 6 weeks ago, joined weight watchers, cling to Sr and the dear friends I've made here I'm volunteering 3 times a week, as well as an extra gig at volunteering to serve the homeless shelter once a month through my church...and I LOVE the volunteer work.

I know there are homeless shelters. I will not leave without at least my ktty Elvis. He's sick, he's kept me clean , I just can't do it...there is a history I won't go into. The other 2 cats are more idependent and my friend with the horses drives by my house every day.

I'm trying. I just need a little extra hope and prayers that I can get to a place I need to be. I know..consequences of addiction suck, but I honsetly belive I've gotten past that.

I guess i'm just asking for a little help. I am willing and amd DOING my part.

Hugs and prayers

Amy

You have accomplished so much, I get stressed just reading the list!

You are in my prayers right now.

I hope you are feeling it I just sent it out as loud as I could! :hug:

You are being taught how to fly.

Keep living honestly and for yourself and great things will find you. Sounds like you are just proving to yourself that you can face your demons head on and winning. Your prize cant be far away. Love the name for your cat by the way! (i couldnt live without mine either...i have 3 and 2 dogs)

I just talked to my friend I've met through school. She has NO clue about addiciton, but she knows me. She is going to help me get work...whether it's cleaning houses or whatever, she wants to help.

To have someone believe in me and want to help me? That's pretty cool. I need to realize that there are people who are FOR me, and let it go I've got to focus on what is good in me, not all the bad stuff I did (and thre was a lot). This isn't easy, but this is recovery. One step forward, one at a time and let the past go.


Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Amy - You've got my prayers, but even without them, my money woould be on you making it through whatever life throws at you. Hang tough.

Awww Amy, be kind to yourself, keep hope and carry faith with you.

It's funny how when you begin to ask, things start coming our way.

You are such an important and respected member of this forum.

We are always here for you.

please keep us posted, breath, so much going on.

It's going to be okay and you are just going to be the best you ever.

love to you always Katie

Amy, your a strong woman you will get through this and come out better on the other side I have faith in you. I know the dysfunction of your living arrangements are not healthy
yet I also know you have the tools you need to get through that until something else comes for you.

Your loving, kind, generous, compassionate, sheesh I could keep tying the positive qualities you have.

Keep hope and faith, your HP is and will provide. :)

Big Hugs

Slow and steady wins the race. :)

Amy, if I could help you get a job based solely on the woman I know from this post, I would! You are an amazing, honest, caring and supportive individual who has come from Hell and back and you are an INSPIRATION to everyone on this site.
I will pray for open doors and everything to fall into place. I believe in asking the Universe and expecting the best.
I will ask for you.
Love and Hugs,
TT
PS: you must be ready now to leave the environment you are in, which is another sign the Universe is on your side.

u know the slogans and one comes to mind...KEEP IT SIMPLE....you have done so much for YOUR recovery...keep it real and HONEST..you are doing such a good job...

hugs

I don't know any spiritual stuff or anything like that. All I know is that you are a trooper and you have more than made up for whatever you did in some past life. I don't know if I believe in Karma or anything like that, but I do believe that you have a pure heart and you just keep plugging along. I guess that's all that any of us can do, but I can't help but believe that, at some point, it is going to benefit you and you will prosper because of it. Hang in there, Amy. I wish I could offer something more substantial. :hug:

Amy you know how much I believe in you.....you're my hero in many ways.

you're not a wimp! it is going to happen for you....I believe in you!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Bad days don't last forever, Amy, and better days always come again...we just never know how or when.

One day the job will come or the opportunity to live somewhere better, you just need to hold your faith to the light and believe...it will happen.

I believe in you with all my heart. So just take a little of that and believe in yourself because you are soooo worth it.

Love you lots, hang in there.

Hugs

A lot of us here have been made in fire Amy...you're strong, you're inspirational, you never give in...and I just know good things are coming your way :)

take good care of yourself, ok? :hug:

D

You are an amazing inspiration to us!!! You have been through the refiner's fire, and great things come out of that. The way you stay busy with school and volunteering and still are taking time to take care of yourself with WeightWatchers and trying to break the smoking habit on top of that!! You just keep on keeping on, girl. Your day will come! It's not where your've been...It's where your'e going. Finding a job these days is tough, but with your drive, I've no doubt you'll get there. I care!

Hi Amy-- I know it's been a long time.... but I just read this post and wanted to tell you I'm sending big supportive hugs your way. You've always been an inspiration to me (kind, gentle, loving, strong), and I hope that the universe blesses you soon with new doors opening....
((hug))
Cessy

I don't know how you do it, Amy. You're surrounded by chaos and insanity, but you still keep on moving forward. You're thriving, Amy. I don't think you realize how incredible that is and how strong you are :grouphug:

You are in my prayers.