sick to my stomach...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by lightseeker 
And people wonder why sometimes we come across so strongly on this board when someone comes aboard saying "I've become involved with an addict....but we're different".
I was different. My daughter was different. A bad case of Terminal Uniqueness and a lot of bunk to keep myself sicker than my addicted daughter.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Outtolunch,
ALL of us were terminally unique.We entered the arena with an air of
aloofness..."above" and "apart" from the dirty underbelly of addiction.
When it came out of the gates,we calmly informed it that we were
here to save someone,someone who entered the arena by accident,and
would it kindly step aside so we could do any of a million things (rapid-
detox/intensive psychotherapy/etc).
It was all a big misunderstanding,and we would wave some sort of high
tech/expensive magic wand and this nightmare would be over.
Then it came at us.Before we knew it---it was snapping it's jaws inches
from our jugular.In a time too short to measure,the veneer of civilization is
realized for what it is....a veneer.This is a fight to the death.A door to hell
has opened and you can feel the raw heat on your face.
Fear and terror arise within you.That's good,for you can feel the tools
of conflict instinctively arise within you as your sympathetic nervous system
comes online.Enough to fight or fly.But flight is out.With that binary decision
out of the equation,blood can now be rerouted from the legs to any part of the
body that can reach the jugular of the other (you are being weaponized).
As terrifying as it is,though,you know in your heart that you have one
HELL of an advantage---it's two against one and not even the most skilled
opponent can fight in two directions at once.It it comes at me, the addict
will come from behind and mace its brains out.Should it turn toward the addict,
then 'thank you'---that is the last error YOU will ever make!
But a funny thing happens.The one you came to 'save' is not coordinating
their movements to maximize the tactical advantage.They instead are
maneuvering to stay WITHIN the beast's range of vision.
This makes no sense at ALL.......unless.........
(You go cold at the horror at the thought.)
It IS two against one----but not in the way desired.
Your survival equation has turned in the blink of an eye.
Now.....how fast can that blood be rerouted back to your legs?
ALL of us were terminally unique.We entered the arena with an air of
aloofness..."above" and "apart" from the dirty underbelly of addiction.
When it came out of the gates,we calmly informed it that we were
here to save someone,someone who entered the arena by accident,and
would it kindly step aside so we could do any of a million things (rapid-
detox/intensive psychotherapy/etc).
It was all a big misunderstanding,and we would wave some sort of high
tech/expensive magic wand and this nightmare would be over.
Then it came at us.Before we knew it---it was snapping it's jaws inches
from our jugular.In a time too short to measure,the veneer of civilization is
realized for what it is....a veneer.This is a fight to the death.A door to hell
has opened and you can feel the raw heat on your face.
Fear and terror arise within you.That's good,for you can feel the tools
of conflict instinctively arise within you as your sympathetic nervous system
comes online.Enough to fight or fly.But flight is out.With that binary decision
out of the equation,blood can now be rerouted from the legs to any part of the
body that can reach the jugular of the other (you are being weaponized).
As terrifying as it is,though,you know in your heart that you have one
HELL of an advantage---it's two against one and not even the most skilled
opponent can fight in two directions at once.It it comes at me, the addict
will come from behind and mace its brains out.Should it turn toward the addict,
then 'thank you'---that is the last error YOU will ever make!
But a funny thing happens.The one you came to 'save' is not coordinating
their movements to maximize the tactical advantage.They instead are
maneuvering to stay WITHIN the beast's range of vision.
This makes no sense at ALL.......unless.........
(You go cold at the horror at the thought.)
It IS two against one----but not in the way desired.
Your survival equation has turned in the blink of an eye.
Now.....how fast can that blood be rerouted back to your legs?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
LS wrote this....
>>>>>>It's just so sad....as we hung up he told me that I was essentially handing him a death sentence by not saying that I would be there if he "really" worked a recovery. I'm sorry - I'm just done. He is a chronic relapser and I will always hold out hope for him and always pray for him. But....no more front row seats for me. FOG at its finest but boy - it's powerful stuff.....<<<<<<
.......thanks,LS......THIS really 'did it' for me!
>>>>>>It's just so sad....as we hung up he told me that I was essentially handing him a death sentence by not saying that I would be there if he "really" worked a recovery. I'm sorry - I'm just done. He is a chronic relapser and I will always hold out hope for him and always pray for him. But....no more front row seats for me. FOG at its finest but boy - it's powerful stuff.....<<<<<<
.......thanks,LS......THIS really 'did it' for me!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Thanks,Elphie.It's what we ALL feel,and why we are all here.
Trying to understand that which is so very difficult to comprehend.
I myself have never run up against a problem in my life I could not
solve.
Until now.
Trying to understand that which is so very difficult to comprehend.
I myself have never run up against a problem in my life I could not
solve.
Until now.
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