My Boyfriend is going to Detox
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 34
My Boyfriend is going to Detox
Hi everyone, I posted yesterday about my boyfriend being in the hospital after an overdose. I was being pressured by his parents to help get him to do what they wanted....
I want to thank you all for the replies you gave me, and I have read a lot on here last night. In fact, I was reading this post by a mom whose daughter was doing good, and so I went back and read all her posts. I saw where her daughter had been injecting pain meds and she had a procedure she called the ROD and then this shot of medicine to help her stay clean.
So I did some searching on the computer and I read up in the Rapid Detox for Opiates. And the drug called Vivitrol to help keep people from going back on the drugs.
One oif the big things is my boyfriend has been so worried about getting really sick during withdrawals. So I went to see him first thing this morning and told him all about this. His doctor from the hospital never mentioned anything like this. So we asked the doctor about it, and he said they dont do it there unless its some type of emergency situation. Not if its planned. But he told us more about it, and the vivitrol and my boyfriend was really excited about it.
But here is the thing. We told his parents about it, and they hadnt heard of it. But the doctor spoke to them about it and gave us some referrals and they called to find out about it. It is really expensive. They wont pay for it.
My boyfriend does not have the money, but here is the thing - you can pay for it on a medical credit card called care credit. But he has no job and cant get approved, so I applied and got approved for what we need. I know... I will be responsible for it if he ends up not being able to pay me back. His parents are mad at me about this too and I have no idea why. My boyfriend was working on making a deal with them about going to rehab if they would pay for this treatment, and by the end of the day they agreed that if he would go for 45 days then they would do it. So they scheduled him to be admitted to this other inpatient detox medical center tomorrow morning.
Right now since he has been in the hospital, they have been giving him this drug called Tramadol and something else I forget the name, because of his back pain, and he says that has kept him from getting really sick. The doctor said if he can get off the opiate pain meds there are non-narcotic options.
Does anyone have experience with this? I was reading another thread about pain during recovery and it was helpful, but looking for more information.
I feel almost optimistic right now. Almost. But I know this is a tiny tiny step and so Im almost a complete skeptic at this point too.
But I never would have known about this rapid detox and the injections to help him stay off opitates if I hadnt come here. Wanted to say thanks.
The doctor also talked to us a lot about rehab and he talked to a couple today about their process and all that. Im not sure he has one picked for sure, but he has some options. Im scared for that as we will be apart. but the drugs are already keeping us apart because they have taken him over. I want him back !!
I want to thank you all for the replies you gave me, and I have read a lot on here last night. In fact, I was reading this post by a mom whose daughter was doing good, and so I went back and read all her posts. I saw where her daughter had been injecting pain meds and she had a procedure she called the ROD and then this shot of medicine to help her stay clean.
So I did some searching on the computer and I read up in the Rapid Detox for Opiates. And the drug called Vivitrol to help keep people from going back on the drugs.
One oif the big things is my boyfriend has been so worried about getting really sick during withdrawals. So I went to see him first thing this morning and told him all about this. His doctor from the hospital never mentioned anything like this. So we asked the doctor about it, and he said they dont do it there unless its some type of emergency situation. Not if its planned. But he told us more about it, and the vivitrol and my boyfriend was really excited about it.
But here is the thing. We told his parents about it, and they hadnt heard of it. But the doctor spoke to them about it and gave us some referrals and they called to find out about it. It is really expensive. They wont pay for it.
My boyfriend does not have the money, but here is the thing - you can pay for it on a medical credit card called care credit. But he has no job and cant get approved, so I applied and got approved for what we need. I know... I will be responsible for it if he ends up not being able to pay me back. His parents are mad at me about this too and I have no idea why. My boyfriend was working on making a deal with them about going to rehab if they would pay for this treatment, and by the end of the day they agreed that if he would go for 45 days then they would do it. So they scheduled him to be admitted to this other inpatient detox medical center tomorrow morning.
Right now since he has been in the hospital, they have been giving him this drug called Tramadol and something else I forget the name, because of his back pain, and he says that has kept him from getting really sick. The doctor said if he can get off the opiate pain meds there are non-narcotic options.
Does anyone have experience with this? I was reading another thread about pain during recovery and it was helpful, but looking for more information.
I feel almost optimistic right now. Almost. But I know this is a tiny tiny step and so Im almost a complete skeptic at this point too.
But I never would have known about this rapid detox and the injections to help him stay off opitates if I hadnt come here. Wanted to say thanks.
The doctor also talked to us a lot about rehab and he talked to a couple today about their process and all that. Im not sure he has one picked for sure, but he has some options. Im scared for that as we will be apart. but the drugs are already keeping us apart because they have taken him over. I want him back !!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
He's in the hospital.
I am confused, not sure why he needs a Rapid Detox.
I am seriously in awe of how this guy can get you to spend 10 grand on a rapid detox.
Just maybe he should pay the price for using, withdrawal will not hurt him, will not kill him, but it might just make him take a look at what he is for if he picks it up again.
You are babying an adult, and he is using you for a soft landing place.
I'm sorry honey, you need to let this guy pay the consequences for his actions. You can not protect someone from themselves.
I am confused, not sure why he needs a Rapid Detox.
I am seriously in awe of how this guy can get you to spend 10 grand on a rapid detox.
Just maybe he should pay the price for using, withdrawal will not hurt him, will not kill him, but it might just make him take a look at what he is for if he picks it up again.
You are babying an adult, and he is using you for a soft landing place.
I'm sorry honey, you need to let this guy pay the consequences for his actions. You can not protect someone from themselves.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
You saw what is early stages of a success story here when you read that post don't get me wrong I can't say if her daughter will start again or not but if I remember correctly her friend had the same thing done and relapsed.
There was a lot of controversy on that type did you read all the post? I can't say iy will or will not work what I feel confident in saying is your ABF will be coming off the drugs in an easier way yes but just how do you think easier will help him?
How do you two plan on him learning tools? One can't just detox and magically be done. I truly hope the other girl continues too do well however she has not been back to school yet where her use began time will tell.
Others have posted where they spent that 10 grand and their addict started back.
So one post has you willing to enable again?
There was a lot of controversy on that type did you read all the post? I can't say iy will or will not work what I feel confident in saying is your ABF will be coming off the drugs in an easier way yes but just how do you think easier will help him?
How do you two plan on him learning tools? One can't just detox and magically be done. I truly hope the other girl continues too do well however she has not been back to school yet where her use began time will tell.
Others have posted where they spent that 10 grand and their addict started back.
So one post has you willing to enable again?
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
During my son's last stay in rehab he was given information about Vivitrol and was very excited about using it as an additional tool to stay clean. I did some research and was very concerned about the potential side effects but concluded that the benefits outweighed the risks. I spoke to the director of the rehab about it also and she said that it was an extremely beneficial drug in highly motivated individuals....and that "it saves lives". She suggested that it is needed for a minimum of 6-12 months ....@ $1000/dose! So, please be aware that it's not just a one-time thing....it's a huge investment.
BTW, my son was kicked out of that rehab and is currently on the streets using heroin.
BTW, my son was kicked out of that rehab and is currently on the streets using heroin.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
One reason why addicts stay in their addiction is because people make it comfortable for them to stay in their addiction--giving them food, a place to stay, money, clothing, etc. They have no reason to quit using because everything they need and want is provided. It is not until these things that are a soft place for the addict to land are pulled out from under them do they start to experience their addiction as being more painful than getting clean would be for them. Getting clean involves pain because of the withdrawal process and they avoid it at all costs--until the cost of using is worse than getting clean would be. They have finally reached the point where they realize they have lost everything and they want to recover what they have lost. Now you want to provide an easy withdrawal experience for him. You want to do what is best for him so keep in mind that avoiding the pain may not be what is best for him. It would be different had he been the one that came up with the idea, was the motivated one, but you and his mother are the two highly motivated individuals.
When my son went to rehab, his counselor told us that addiction is a spiritual disorder. It wasn't until he connected with his Higher Power did he recover fully. He had done everything under the sun to beat drug addiction previously, but nothing worked until he began working with his HP. There is no easy fix.
When my son went to rehab, his counselor told us that addiction is a spiritual disorder. It wasn't until he connected with his Higher Power did he recover fully. He had done everything under the sun to beat drug addiction previously, but nothing worked until he began working with his HP. There is no easy fix.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 128
Vivitrol is a very expensive monthly injection. $1000+. Basically, it's a tool for the addict to "buy time" while they get firmly rooted in their recovery. And recovery is not place the addict gets to where they've accomplished some goal and everything bad becomes part of the past. Recovery is a lifestyle and needs to be followed hour by hour, day by day.
It makes me profoundly sad that my son is an addict. For all intents and purposes, he has a terminal illness. There is no cure. He must manage this for the rest of his life. When he's in recovery, it's like being in remission. There is hope, but there is always an awareness that the "cancer" can come back. In a relapse, the "cancer" can kill them very quickly. Or painfully slow.
Vivitrol or any other addiction drug is only a temporary tool to take the edge off. My ALO has to come to terms with his deadly disease and make the decision to fight it for the rest of their life.
There is always hope. But please don't find hope in a magic pill. The only real hope comes from the mouths and actions of the addict. Your bf is bargaining rehab days and money with his parents. Until he's willing to crawl his way into a free rehab and put his sobriety in front everything and everyone, including you, then there's not much hope at all.
It makes me profoundly sad that my son is an addict. For all intents and purposes, he has a terminal illness. There is no cure. He must manage this for the rest of his life. When he's in recovery, it's like being in remission. There is hope, but there is always an awareness that the "cancer" can come back. In a relapse, the "cancer" can kill them very quickly. Or painfully slow.
Vivitrol or any other addiction drug is only a temporary tool to take the edge off. My ALO has to come to terms with his deadly disease and make the decision to fight it for the rest of their life.
There is always hope. But please don't find hope in a magic pill. The only real hope comes from the mouths and actions of the addict. Your bf is bargaining rehab days and money with his parents. Until he's willing to crawl his way into a free rehab and put his sobriety in front everything and everyone, including you, then there's not much hope at all.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
He can go to the Salvation Army, the have a good rehab program and its free. My exabf went there for 90 days, although after a couple of months out of the program he used again. He is a career addict, I believe he will never stay clean and sober for life. He will
die an addict.
If he suffers withdrawls, so be it. He needs to be responsible for himself, he is an adult and you are not his mommy.
die an addict.
If he suffers withdrawls, so be it. He needs to be responsible for himself, he is an adult and you are not his mommy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
ROD is a dangerous medical procedure. And there is no way in hell it guarantees that one will stay clean.
ROD also has a real bad side to it. and more than a few horror stories. That story you read here, well there is no way to say this nicely, but this is the internet I wouldn't be buying anything to fast for the good side or bad side.
Now in reading I am a bit confused, is he doing the ROD, and if so who is paying.
Be prepared with him wheeling and dealing that he won't be showing up for any rehab after detox. Also understand he can walk out at any time. No one can force him to stay.
Also to add some reality to the mix. If it was that easy, get detoxed and walk away none of us would be here. Addiction is so much more complicated. Removing the physical wd just removes the physical wd, and the physical part of wd is the easy part ... yeah imagine that ... it is the mental that is brutal, that drives most back out ... although to be fair going back out means one isn't ready yet. They haven't ran it out yet. He needs to run his addiction out his way to learn. No interference. This I really believe in because this is what I have seen work over and over...
I allowed both my son and my husband to do it their way, make the rules, make mistakes seek out help, put things on the table for themselves and off the table. They both learned a lot. Especially my son because I did not at all attempt to save him ( I was way sick and not working on me at all with my husband) I let him fall on his face, feel his addiction from day one and let him find his way out of the madness. My son went to treatment on his own. No ultimatums, no threats, no cutting off, no not being able to talk to, not a penny out of my pocket. He was 21 at the time, as I smile remembering the words of the director of the salvation army rehab he went to.... kids this age have no bottom, well of course they don't, no one will allow them to have one duh ... he footed every bill. I do not pay for treatment, for anyone. And I won't.
There are so many options out there. HE could and HE should .... Notice the HE be the one doing the work. He could seek out an addiction specialist and go HIMSELF and ask for options, ask for help. He has to do the work. It will usually not work any other way. And not having the money or insurance had nothing to do with that.
And if he choose to not get help and stay trapped in his addiction that is totally his right as well.
Wd is sadly unavoidable in most cases...
And quick fixes never work.
Is he that incapable that he can't save himself?
In terms of the pain, he needs to give himself time to know how much of the pain is real, and how much is the addiction. It takes about a year, for the best results, then you evaluate. And it takes work, unlike pills that are just to easy. He will have to be pro-active, he will have to push for other options aside from pills, take care of himself, live healthy, exercise, learn how to live and work with back pain, no smoking if he does, no eating bad, no drugs, follow doctors advice. Learn what limitations and find acceptance, these last two seem to be the hardest....
I wish you the best, but I would be more confident if you were seeking out solutions for you and not him. If you were pushing for more help, asking questions of where you can get help, where you can find resources for yourself. Then I would know have all the hope in the world for not only you, but for him as well.
ROD also has a real bad side to it. and more than a few horror stories. That story you read here, well there is no way to say this nicely, but this is the internet I wouldn't be buying anything to fast for the good side or bad side.
Now in reading I am a bit confused, is he doing the ROD, and if so who is paying.
Be prepared with him wheeling and dealing that he won't be showing up for any rehab after detox. Also understand he can walk out at any time. No one can force him to stay.
Also to add some reality to the mix. If it was that easy, get detoxed and walk away none of us would be here. Addiction is so much more complicated. Removing the physical wd just removes the physical wd, and the physical part of wd is the easy part ... yeah imagine that ... it is the mental that is brutal, that drives most back out ... although to be fair going back out means one isn't ready yet. They haven't ran it out yet. He needs to run his addiction out his way to learn. No interference. This I really believe in because this is what I have seen work over and over...
I allowed both my son and my husband to do it their way, make the rules, make mistakes seek out help, put things on the table for themselves and off the table. They both learned a lot. Especially my son because I did not at all attempt to save him ( I was way sick and not working on me at all with my husband) I let him fall on his face, feel his addiction from day one and let him find his way out of the madness. My son went to treatment on his own. No ultimatums, no threats, no cutting off, no not being able to talk to, not a penny out of my pocket. He was 21 at the time, as I smile remembering the words of the director of the salvation army rehab he went to.... kids this age have no bottom, well of course they don't, no one will allow them to have one duh ... he footed every bill. I do not pay for treatment, for anyone. And I won't.
There are so many options out there. HE could and HE should .... Notice the HE be the one doing the work. He could seek out an addiction specialist and go HIMSELF and ask for options, ask for help. He has to do the work. It will usually not work any other way. And not having the money or insurance had nothing to do with that.
And if he choose to not get help and stay trapped in his addiction that is totally his right as well.
Wd is sadly unavoidable in most cases...
And quick fixes never work.
Is he that incapable that he can't save himself?
In terms of the pain, he needs to give himself time to know how much of the pain is real, and how much is the addiction. It takes about a year, for the best results, then you evaluate. And it takes work, unlike pills that are just to easy. He will have to be pro-active, he will have to push for other options aside from pills, take care of himself, live healthy, exercise, learn how to live and work with back pain, no smoking if he does, no eating bad, no drugs, follow doctors advice. Learn what limitations and find acceptance, these last two seem to be the hardest....
I wish you the best, but I would be more confident if you were seeking out solutions for you and not him. If you were pushing for more help, asking questions of where you can get help, where you can find resources for yourself. Then I would know have all the hope in the world for not only you, but for him as well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 34
thanks for all the thoughts.
He is supposed to be released today and he has an appointment over at the medical center where they have specialists that do this rapid detox procedure. But he has to have a lot of test done prior. I hope they are going to keep him there, and not release him because Im afraid he will only go home and get high and blow off the whole thing .
I am not going to end up paying or signing for anything, because his parents have agreed to pay for the procedure that dows cost about 10k, and for the 45 day rehab he has agreed to go to. But he still hasnt picked which one yet. His parents are leaving that up to him, and he did talk to some yesterday on the phone. I talked to a couple also. He has another day to decide.
Im excited he is doing this, but dont get me wrong. I just read about the rapid detox and the vivitrol here first. Then I spent hours online reading about it ,and then me and my boyfriend talked to his doctor at the hospital, and then he referred us to someone else, and we talked to the treatment center doctor. So its a long procedure not just 'lets do this'. But i am glad he wont have a lot of pain and discomfort. Im still worried about him, but they say it is safe as long as you are in good medical health.
They have kept him at the hospital first because he has some heart arrythmia after he overdosed and they gave him this shot of something to revive him. and then his parents claimed he was suicidal, and he had to be evaluated, but told them he was not, he only had pain, so he got more opiate pain meds that way, but they know he has a problem so they are really limiting him and he wants out of there bad.
He is supposed to be released today and he has an appointment over at the medical center where they have specialists that do this rapid detox procedure. But he has to have a lot of test done prior. I hope they are going to keep him there, and not release him because Im afraid he will only go home and get high and blow off the whole thing .
I am not going to end up paying or signing for anything, because his parents have agreed to pay for the procedure that dows cost about 10k, and for the 45 day rehab he has agreed to go to. But he still hasnt picked which one yet. His parents are leaving that up to him, and he did talk to some yesterday on the phone. I talked to a couple also. He has another day to decide.
Im excited he is doing this, but dont get me wrong. I just read about the rapid detox and the vivitrol here first. Then I spent hours online reading about it ,and then me and my boyfriend talked to his doctor at the hospital, and then he referred us to someone else, and we talked to the treatment center doctor. So its a long procedure not just 'lets do this'. But i am glad he wont have a lot of pain and discomfort. Im still worried about him, but they say it is safe as long as you are in good medical health.
They have kept him at the hospital first because he has some heart arrythmia after he overdosed and they gave him this shot of something to revive him. and then his parents claimed he was suicidal, and he had to be evaluated, but told them he was not, he only had pain, so he got more opiate pain meds that way, but they know he has a problem so they are really limiting him and he wants out of there bad.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
So he is going too do ROD and rehab, I as a mother find that interesting I am clueless to what they are thinking and it is none of my business I just know me personally if I were going to pay for anything it would be rehab why shell out 10 grand.
I also would like to know if you have any plans on how your gonna take care of you?
I also would like to know if you have any plans on how your gonna take care of you?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
He has to want to quit. My AH's parents shelled out thousands and thousands for him to go to rehab this past spring. He was their star student! Group leader, etc! We were so proud of him and saw how he had changed. He had changed. But then, he came home to the real world and relapsed the day he got home!!! 
I kicked him out....he was gone a few days....we reconciled....he relapsed again...I kicked him out again....blah, blah, blah. Then he decided he wanted to take vivitrol. We have insurance (yes, through my work) and so we didn't have to pay a dime for this very expensive shot. All he had to do was attend weekly meetings. Did he? Yes, at first. But then life got in the way of his recovery and he put it on the back burner until he was no longer able to get the shot (because he'd missed so many meetings). He relapsed. He's now on methadone. That wouldn't have been my choice for him, but it's not my choice. It doesn't matter what drug he uses to maintain; he's still an addict. He and your BF need to be actively particpating in recovery if they're going to hope to stay sober- IMO. I'm glad you're on here. It's maddening being with an addict! My AH's addiction has terrorized me. I let it because I did not set boundaries for myself or my kids. Being on here has helped me realize and do that. I went to an Al-Anon mtg last night and I'd suggest you think about going to one. I'd also suggest you run, run, run from your BF! Again, that's my opinion and that's what I'd tell my little sister. Blessings to you!
I kicked him out....he was gone a few days....we reconciled....he relapsed again...I kicked him out again....blah, blah, blah. Then he decided he wanted to take vivitrol. We have insurance (yes, through my work) and so we didn't have to pay a dime for this very expensive shot. All he had to do was attend weekly meetings. Did he? Yes, at first. But then life got in the way of his recovery and he put it on the back burner until he was no longer able to get the shot (because he'd missed so many meetings). He relapsed. He's now on methadone. That wouldn't have been my choice for him, but it's not my choice. It doesn't matter what drug he uses to maintain; he's still an addict. He and your BF need to be actively particpating in recovery if they're going to hope to stay sober- IMO. I'm glad you're on here. It's maddening being with an addict! My AH's addiction has terrorized me. I let it because I did not set boundaries for myself or my kids. Being on here has helped me realize and do that. I went to an Al-Anon mtg last night and I'd suggest you think about going to one. I'd also suggest you run, run, run from your BF! Again, that's my opinion and that's what I'd tell my little sister. Blessings to you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 34
Everybody keeps asking what Im going to do about me. Im not planning on making any changes for the most part. This hasnt been going on that long with him, and I dont think i have made myself sick.
I will be going back to classes in a few weeks. Im a grad student. I am working full time right now, and will go back to part time after I go back to school. I have a pretty busy life with other activities and friends.
I guess its not just so much the drug issue alone; but it has been a long road since he was injured and he has had ot go through a lot with surgery, physical therapy, and he has had legitimate pain. He is i nthe middle of a lawsuit because the accident was not his fault. There has just been a lot of stress overall and then it was about 6 months ago that I think he really started abusing the pain meds because he too is really tired of being in pain, or working therapy so hard, trying to hold dow n a job, and all that. Of course he took so many days off they let him go. I mean they officially laid him off and because of that he got unemployment, and I found out he really does have health insurance through work and some law where they have to offer it, and his parents have been paying the premiums. I didnt even know all that. I thought he didnt have anything ,except what was being covered as part of the lawuit. Long story wont get into more of that as its confusing.
I read some of the stickies about codependency, and Ive read a lot of stories. There are some things I can definetly relate to like Ive been in the car with him when I knew he was impared. And Ive covered up to friends and family as to why he didnt go with me some place; but I still went alone and would have a good time. I have spent money to help pay off some of his bills but that was with the understanding that he would pay me back, and then he lost his job, and who knows when he will get something from this lawsuit. So i have done some things that are questionable, but not a lot.
Mostly I have bene wondering lately, wil all this end? Will he always have issues with his back and be limited and have pain? He is so young ! And will he get off these drugs and find a way to manage the pain?
I dont know if I want to be part of it if things dont change. I love him, and it is selfish I guess but Im a little tired of his not being physically able to do some things, and that he got hooked on these drugs and that basically finished him off. When I think about it all that way, I see why my parents are saying I could end up in the gutter with him. Is it wrong to be thinking so selfishly? But right now Im staning by him and when he goes to rehab the nI will be able to think more clearly maybe and not have any influence from him.
I think that will be good for me.
Im waiting for him right now. he is undergoing his evaluation, and his parents are here too. I still dont know if they will keep him tonight or release him from here for home. Im not sure his mommy will let him come home with me anyway if they do. Yeah if she is working on herself, then she needs to keep at it because she is really an emotional rollercoaster up and down, and changing her mind, and being nice to me, then not. Being nice to boyfriend, then threatening him. And his dad I think is afraid to cross her !
Talk about dysfunctional.
I will be going back to classes in a few weeks. Im a grad student. I am working full time right now, and will go back to part time after I go back to school. I have a pretty busy life with other activities and friends.
I guess its not just so much the drug issue alone; but it has been a long road since he was injured and he has had ot go through a lot with surgery, physical therapy, and he has had legitimate pain. He is i nthe middle of a lawsuit because the accident was not his fault. There has just been a lot of stress overall and then it was about 6 months ago that I think he really started abusing the pain meds because he too is really tired of being in pain, or working therapy so hard, trying to hold dow n a job, and all that. Of course he took so many days off they let him go. I mean they officially laid him off and because of that he got unemployment, and I found out he really does have health insurance through work and some law where they have to offer it, and his parents have been paying the premiums. I didnt even know all that. I thought he didnt have anything ,except what was being covered as part of the lawuit. Long story wont get into more of that as its confusing.
I read some of the stickies about codependency, and Ive read a lot of stories. There are some things I can definetly relate to like Ive been in the car with him when I knew he was impared. And Ive covered up to friends and family as to why he didnt go with me some place; but I still went alone and would have a good time. I have spent money to help pay off some of his bills but that was with the understanding that he would pay me back, and then he lost his job, and who knows when he will get something from this lawsuit. So i have done some things that are questionable, but not a lot.
Mostly I have bene wondering lately, wil all this end? Will he always have issues with his back and be limited and have pain? He is so young ! And will he get off these drugs and find a way to manage the pain?
I dont know if I want to be part of it if things dont change. I love him, and it is selfish I guess but Im a little tired of his not being physically able to do some things, and that he got hooked on these drugs and that basically finished him off. When I think about it all that way, I see why my parents are saying I could end up in the gutter with him. Is it wrong to be thinking so selfishly? But right now Im staning by him and when he goes to rehab the nI will be able to think more clearly maybe and not have any influence from him.
I think that will be good for me.
Im waiting for him right now. he is undergoing his evaluation, and his parents are here too. I still dont know if they will keep him tonight or release him from here for home. Im not sure his mommy will let him come home with me anyway if they do. Yeah if she is working on herself, then she needs to keep at it because she is really an emotional rollercoaster up and down, and changing her mind, and being nice to me, then not. Being nice to boyfriend, then threatening him. And his dad I think is afraid to cross her !
Talk about dysfunctional.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Originally Posted by JoeysGirl 
........... Im not sure his mommy will let him come home with me anyway if they do. Yeah if she is working on herself, then she needs to keep at it because she is really an emotional rollercoaster up and down, and changing her mind, and being nice to me, then not. Being nice to boyfriend, then threatening him. And his dad I think is afraid to cross her !
Talk about dysfunctional.
Talk about dysfunctional.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As a long-term recovering addict/alcoholic, I will be eternally grateful for every miserable second I spent in pain and discomfort when I was no longer using.
That pain and discomfort was a hell of a motivator to stay clean/sober.
That pain and discomfort was a hell of a motivator to stay clean/sober.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
You not planning on doing anything for you yet you wonder why mom doesn't want you around? Mom may be not using what she has learned she is under different conditions I am assuming this will be his first rehab not sure but apparently she realizes your codependent and enable her son.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by JoeysGirl
Everybody keeps asking what Im going to do about me. Im not planning on making any changes for the most part. This hasnt been going on that long with him, and I dont think i have made myself sick.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
compare how many times you mention him...and his parents...and his addiction in your post to how many times you talk about YOU...
I bet it's 10 to 1.
You are focused on HIS life
it's really hard to get this in the progressing stages of codependency, it is a symptom of denial...but it is part of the hook, the codependent addiction is obsession with the addict.
I bet it's 10 to 1.
You are focused on HIS life
it's really hard to get this in the progressing stages of codependency, it is a symptom of denial...but it is part of the hook, the codependent addiction is obsession with the addict.
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