" The Kid " Hes been busy this week.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 56
" The Kid " Hes been busy this week.....
My husband and I invited a college age young man to come and stay with us after his mom kicked him out of the houe for drugs / drinking / bad behavior. The catch is all this started after his father passed away unexpectedly last fall.
His father was also a good friend of my husband..
Ive posted a few updates. My husband and “the kid” as I call him here, get along really well and it seems my husband is now considered to be his friend and have gained his trust. Also I think my husband is a link back to the kids dad because he and my husband were friends and business associates.
Been a little roller-coaster with him over the last month but nothing that has really upset either myself or my husband, and made us have regrets over what we are doing.
My husband helped him get a job shortly after he moved in with us, and has been doing well at that and seems to like it a lot. The person that hired him said he is doing well, and taking it seriously and he is happy to have him there.
Last weekend however, he says one of his “old” friends called him, and he went out with several guys that he used to hang out with and drink. / drug. They were pulled over by the police for running a red light and the driver was arrested for DUI. The other passengers had to get rides home. My husband went to get him from the police station and brought him home.
But why Im posting today , is that this week we have seen big changes.
He has talked to my husband a lot.
He decided to change his cellphone number because he says he cannot be around his old friends at all anymore or he knows it will lead to trouble for him. He followed through with that as he called the cell company right in front of me, and had me test out the new number for him.
He has gone to work every day and in the evening he has came home, had dinner with us, and hung out at the house. Not high, not drinking.
He has been going to all his therapy appointments.
He went online at the website for our church; where he attended once with us. He signed up to go out with one of the single groups today. So he spent the day today with people his age; they went to a go cart track, batting cages, went out to eat, and then went to see the new batman movie. He came home a while ago and he said that he had a really good time, and that he was afraid at first he wouldn’t fit in, but he says he felt comfortable, and he kept talking about things that happened like someone programmed the gps wrong and they ended up way out in the country, etc. And so I asked him if he was going to go to church tomorrow and he said yes he told the guys he would be there.
Whats really encouraging though, is that he has been talking about his future; and saying things like he wants to go back to school, but he doesn’t want to give up his job, and asking my husband if he thinks he might be able to work part time, and would he maybe have a chance to get in full time when he graduates college, etc.
Who knows what next week will bring, but he seems to have tilted back into the positive for now. And husband and I are still doing fine.
His father was also a good friend of my husband..
Ive posted a few updates. My husband and “the kid” as I call him here, get along really well and it seems my husband is now considered to be his friend and have gained his trust. Also I think my husband is a link back to the kids dad because he and my husband were friends and business associates.
Been a little roller-coaster with him over the last month but nothing that has really upset either myself or my husband, and made us have regrets over what we are doing.
My husband helped him get a job shortly after he moved in with us, and has been doing well at that and seems to like it a lot. The person that hired him said he is doing well, and taking it seriously and he is happy to have him there.
Last weekend however, he says one of his “old” friends called him, and he went out with several guys that he used to hang out with and drink. / drug. They were pulled over by the police for running a red light and the driver was arrested for DUI. The other passengers had to get rides home. My husband went to get him from the police station and brought him home.
But why Im posting today , is that this week we have seen big changes.
He has talked to my husband a lot.
He decided to change his cellphone number because he says he cannot be around his old friends at all anymore or he knows it will lead to trouble for him. He followed through with that as he called the cell company right in front of me, and had me test out the new number for him.
He has gone to work every day and in the evening he has came home, had dinner with us, and hung out at the house. Not high, not drinking.
He has been going to all his therapy appointments.
He went online at the website for our church; where he attended once with us. He signed up to go out with one of the single groups today. So he spent the day today with people his age; they went to a go cart track, batting cages, went out to eat, and then went to see the new batman movie. He came home a while ago and he said that he had a really good time, and that he was afraid at first he wouldn’t fit in, but he says he felt comfortable, and he kept talking about things that happened like someone programmed the gps wrong and they ended up way out in the country, etc. And so I asked him if he was going to go to church tomorrow and he said yes he told the guys he would be there.
Whats really encouraging though, is that he has been talking about his future; and saying things like he wants to go back to school, but he doesn’t want to give up his job, and asking my husband if he thinks he might be able to work part time, and would he maybe have a chance to get in full time when he graduates college, etc.
Who knows what next week will bring, but he seems to have tilted back into the positive for now. And husband and I are still doing fine.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am glad he is trying hard to turn his life around. Taking it one day at a time allows us to enjoy the good days, the clean days and the relationship we have with our addicted loved ones.
I hope you get many more like this with this young man.
Hugs
I hope you get many more like this with this young man.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 598
Good news. He's doing all the right things. Temptation will arise (old friends will try to entice him to go off with them), so time will tell how he handles them. Making new sober friends is a huge step in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I don't normally post here, but I read all posts and yours has intrigued me. I wonder what the outcome would be and hoped it would be good.
I am pleased he is doing good. Looks like he is grateful to be given a second chance. How awesome of you guys to do this.
I would like to share with you about my beloved gran (RIP)
She had a rough childhood. Given away as a baby by her poor mum to a lady she cleaned for.
Married a nasty alcoholic who was a shameful excuse for a man. He dodged national service pretending to be sick. Made my Dad and his beloved sisters life a misery.Had a life long mistress who he had a child with. Lived half the year with her abroad and half with my gran.
He gambled the house away many, many times and my dad, his baby sister and gran had to run away in the middle of the night leaving their possessions behind as they were threatened by debt collectors.
My grandma died a number of years ago.
At her funeral, which was beautiful, there were two men we did not recognise.
My Dad asked about them and they told him that my grandma had, as they put it, 'saved their lives'. They had left the army (many, many years ago) and were homeless. It was a few days before christmas.
Despite living in a ramshackle dump of a house, with no husband and two young children, my grandma took the boys in. She could not see them with nowhere to live.
Despite all the chaos in her life - mainly caused by others - she cared that two young men were on their own and nowhere to live.
They lost touch, but read in the newspaper she had died.
They came to pay their respects at her funeral.
My Dad cried at what a good woman his mother was. She was so unselfish - if that's even a word.
I hope your young house guest continues to make strides and giant leaps forward.
Thanks for reminding me of my beloved gran who I miss every single day.
I am pleased he is doing good. Looks like he is grateful to be given a second chance. How awesome of you guys to do this.
I would like to share with you about my beloved gran (RIP)
She had a rough childhood. Given away as a baby by her poor mum to a lady she cleaned for.
Married a nasty alcoholic who was a shameful excuse for a man. He dodged national service pretending to be sick. Made my Dad and his beloved sisters life a misery.Had a life long mistress who he had a child with. Lived half the year with her abroad and half with my gran.
He gambled the house away many, many times and my dad, his baby sister and gran had to run away in the middle of the night leaving their possessions behind as they were threatened by debt collectors.
My grandma died a number of years ago.
At her funeral, which was beautiful, there were two men we did not recognise.
My Dad asked about them and they told him that my grandma had, as they put it, 'saved their lives'. They had left the army (many, many years ago) and were homeless. It was a few days before christmas.
Despite living in a ramshackle dump of a house, with no husband and two young children, my grandma took the boys in. She could not see them with nowhere to live.
Despite all the chaos in her life - mainly caused by others - she cared that two young men were on their own and nowhere to live.
They lost touch, but read in the newspaper she had died.
They came to pay their respects at her funeral.
My Dad cried at what a good woman his mother was. She was so unselfish - if that's even a word.
I hope your young house guest continues to make strides and giant leaps forward.
Thanks for reminding me of my beloved gran who I miss every single day.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
That is WONDERFUL news, Deuce!! That youth group will probably come to be VERY instrumental in keeping him on a good path. Both of my (troubled) kids did best when they were part of similar groups. (Unfortunately it didn't 'stick' in our case.) I'm really glad he made that very healthy choice!!! 
Give him a hug from this mom!!
Give him a hug from this mom!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 97
Wow! That is great! Few of us on here can say that we experience things like this.. Your husband must know what he is doing...Just don't be disappointed if they are set backs. The more he is on the right track, the more these patterns are set..
God bless you and your husband for taking this boy in!!
God bless you and your husband for taking this boy in!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Very good news. Sounds encourageing for everyone. How fortunate this young man is to have you both to step up to the plate when the odds are against it working.
So proud of you all.
Oh, would you like another challenge????? I have an AS and have not had luck in change for him. Free for the taking.
JK.
So proud of you all.
Oh, would you like another challenge????? I have an AS and have not had luck in change for him. Free for the taking.
JK.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 46
Such wonderful news. It sounds like maybe something is clicking for him, and he is realizing that despite his fathers death, and the mistakes he has made - he still has a lot to look forward to in life, and is trying to begin focusing on that.
I think it was very kind of you and your husband to take him into your home, and offer him a safe place to find recovery for himself.
Ny daughter is doing well with working with a therapist also,. She only has been at it a month, but things are good.
I think it will be really good for him if he can make new friends, and find healthy activities to become involved in. I know my daughter hs relied on her friends and gone back to playing tennis, and swimming , etc. I dont think boredom is good especially if they are struggling with depression or grief in this young mans case.
Good luck to your " kid" and I hope it continues to go well.
I think it was very kind of you and your husband to take him into your home, and offer him a safe place to find recovery for himself.
Ny daughter is doing well with working with a therapist also,. She only has been at it a month, but things are good.
I think it will be really good for him if he can make new friends, and find healthy activities to become involved in. I know my daughter hs relied on her friends and gone back to playing tennis, and swimming , etc. I dont think boredom is good especially if they are struggling with depression or grief in this young mans case.
Good luck to your " kid" and I hope it continues to go well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Deuce, he has taken some really big steps I love that he realized and followed through on changing his phone number it is great he is getting involved in healthy activities with people his age getting too see there is a good life without drug use. I hope everything continues going good.
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