It is getting easier to say no
 

A while ago I posted that I said No for the first time to my AS and I didn't feel guilty. I have noticed how easy it is to be drawn back into their manipulation, but I have been vigilant. He has been living at an older woman's house and I can see things are going south and he needs another taxi service. I refuse to become that. After another request to take him somewhere, I emailed bacK:

I love you dearly, but part of you not having a car is because of the life choices you have made. I respect your choices, but I am not prepared to share the consequences with you. I hope you can understand.

Guilt is not driving all my actions towards him and it feels as if I am starting to understand what loving detachment means. I still have a while to go but it feels good!

Nice job Sunshine2! No is a tough word sometimes.....but I think you said it quite eloquently.

gentle hugs
ke

Awesome post...needed to hear that. It is hard but it is what we must do.

Great job. "No" is also a complete sentence. My thing with saying no is that I felt like I had to explain the "no". Now, I am working on just saying "no".

High Five!

Good for you! Stand strong and true to your convictions!

When my son moved in with his girl friend, before he left I had a talk with him about his having a plan in case it didn't work out between them. His response was "Gee, thanks Mom, for your faith in me. You're always so negative." I replied "I just want you to realize that our home is not Plan B should it not work out between you and your girl friend."

I haven't had to act on my comment--he hasn't asked to move back home--yet. Maybe he never will. He almost got kicked out of the girl friend's house right after he moved in, though. She told me she told him that she should ask him to leave immediately but she would give him another chance. So far so good. It's been five months now. I thought back to his comment about me being so negative. No, just a realist. I hope my husband and I will be strong like you demonstrated here should he decide to leave his girl friend or get kicked out from her house for using drugs or what ever reason.

Great job! I hope I am that strong if I have to cross that bridge too.

You said that very well! Taking notice of your response.

Good for you! What a positive and uplifting thread.