octoberrain

All of the time I hear "the reason people use drugs or drink is they have under lying issues"

I think that is why I just can not let my son go.

I feel like, how can I abandon him when he needs help?

If he got the "under Lying Issues" fixed, then he can fix the drug problem.
Is this true?

girly

There are not always underlying issues, my ABF grew up poor, with bad influences older siblings that were all drug users for him it was a learned behavior he had not been miss treated as a child, or abused. For him it was mostly that he never grew up fully, because he started using so young, he started using when he was 17 and didn't try to stop til he was in his mid 20's. For some people being ignored, or abused can be the root of the problem but for some people there is no underlying problem or issue. Does that mean that your loved one isnt in trouble or need help no it just means that there may be no root cause except perhaps fear, fear of failure and or low self-esteem this is not always from some problem or childhood issue but just a defect of character.

Scrapbooker

Hi octoberrain. I am the mother of a 22year old AS. I too have heard often there is an underlying disease like depression, anxiety, ADD, etc. and the addict is self medicating. My son is still trying to convince himself he has depression, anxiety and ADD. he started using pot, opiates and snorting Adderol at 15, and maybe other drugs. He attended an outpatient program twice. The last one ended in March. He claims 6 months of total sobriety. He may be, unfortunately I don't know him as an adult since he's been using since he was 15 or16.

I have read a lot about the underlying problem not being able to be diagnosed until the addict is clean. I believe that from our experience. Active addiction brings out symptoms of other illnesses that may disappear in sobriety. I also feel in my son's case, he would just like to have a prescription drug to take. In the last 6 months, he has been trying to take straterra and an anti depressant prescribed by a psychologist and usually ends up quitting and saying the pills have unwanted side affects. My thought on that is if he needed the pills, they would probably work for him.

Sorry for the long post. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do something nice for you today.

octoberrain

Scrapbooker, I know they use Straterra for ADHD. It is a non stimulant. That is maybe why he does not like it. He is not getting high from it.
Thank you for your reply
I guess I was just pulling at straws.

washbe2

It is more difficult if other issues are involved. That has always been one of my hang-ups about letting go, too. Then there are health issues on top of that. But if it weren't for that, I'd probably find another reason.

Hug from an understanding mama.

outtolunch

Everyone has underlying issues. Most do not turn to drugs.

It took me a lot of time and pain to realize that I am not remotely qualified to help my daughter with her underlying emotional issues. In fact, the more I helped, the less she tried to help herself.

Jody675

the only person who can "fix" your son, IS YOUR SON. even if he had the worst childhood ever, it is still up to him to want to face them. YOU can not do it for him. have you checked out the stickies about co-dependency? they might help you allow your son to find his own path, even if its not the one you want for him.

Learn2Live

What I have been told by several psychiatrists is, the addict must get clean first in order to treat the underlying mental health issues. I have both mental illness and a cognitive disability and I do not do drugs or alcohol. Even people with severe mental illness such as schizophrenia are aware that they have choices and can choose whether or not they do drugs or alcohol.

kmangel

My son told me he has social anxiety and using drugs made his fears go away. As a recovering addict he has to figure out how to deal with his anxieties some other way. We all have issues. It is how we face them that matters.

Katiekate

I don't get to , or care to become an addcit because I had a rough childhood.

Probably the majority of us here have something , something that could lead us to alcohol or drugs.

I asked my AXBF how he felt about things, he always used to say he didn't know.

Undrugged, and sober, at least we have a chance of healing, with booze and drugs there is no chance.

It's all about choice, choice is not an underlying issue.

Scrapbooker

Washbe, you brought a big smile to my face I would find another reason too.

I should also explain something. My son was prescribed adderol by his first psychiatrist who works for the same medical organization that he attended his first IOP at. He continued to prescribe a higher dosage and a fast acting second dose until I wrote him a letter letting him know my son is an addict and encouraged him to get a copy of his IOP records if possible. His nurse called me and assured me they would try to call him and get him in to talk to the doc. I don't know if they ever did, but there were no more prescriptions. I told them I knew they couldn't release hs info to me as he was 19 at the time, I just wanted them to know the were prescribing adderoll to an addict who had a history of abusing it. He now has a different psychiatrist, said the other one wasn't helpful. This new one was referred to him by his 2nd IOP counselors.

So I'm pretty jaded about that situation. I think you are right about the Straterra not being a stimulant so he doesn't like it.

coffeebean1

I've heard this too and I'm quite sure it's got to be BS. I drank because I liked the drunk feeling.