octoberrain

This may sound dumb and I do not want to offend anyone but My obsession with checking texts, my phone and facebook in hopes my AS messaged me seems to now turned in to an obsession with SR. For the last 3-4 days I have been on here all day except for some short breaks. Is this a bad thing.
PLEASE do not think I am a dodo but I feel like , did I trade one obsession for another?
I may be off here for a while. Might lose power. Big storm coming.
I am going out to get my solar lights just in case so I will at least have light!

lightseeker

hi....I think it's pretty common to feel that way. I remember when I first started I immersed myself in it. Even 7 years later, SR is still important to me even if it's in a different way.

I think that there is a learning curve plus the blessed relief of not feeling so alone. There is also so much experience, strength, and hope on this forum that reading and participating help to keep me healthier. Whenever I need a dose of recovery I know that it's a click away.

I guess like anything - it only becomes a problem when it interferes with actually living your life. It's helping me be healthier so it's time well spent.....

octoberrain

Thank Lightseeker. I hope everyone feels that way. hehe

interrupted

I'm so glad you asked this. I'm new also, and I spend a *lot* of time reading here. I sort of wondered if it was weird to do that, also. I'm relieved that I'm not alone! I was so excited to find this place and the burden of all my baggage already seems lighter just reading through all the similar experiences and posts. This is such an amazing resource!

Ilovemysonjj

Hi everyone, no obsession, just the need to connect with other souls who understand. I don't know about any of you, but my husband doesn't feel like I do about our AS. He would be fine never seeing him again after what JJ has pulled in our lives. I, on the other hand, pray minute by minute for his safety and hopes that he chooses recovery. I log into this site at least 5 times per day and it is always a new post that has just the right words for my moment.
October Rain, I also do the google who's in jail , check my facebook for messages and phone all the time . You are not alone
Hugs
Teresa

ChasingJme03

I log in quite a bit. SR is a great community that has helped me out through some tough times, even though I have only been on here for a month. Its great to hear other people's stories and not feel like I would be judged. I am just thankful that I found SR.

octoberrain

Thank you all that have replied.
jj's mom, My AS has been out of the house now 4 days. I am holding myself back from texting him or messaging him on FB. They were like my life lines to him. I am also glad I found SR. One of my AS friends just wrote me and asked if I have heard from him. He has been trying to get a hold of him. He will not respond. It kind of scares me but his friend does not get high so I think that may be why. Hoping that is it anyway.

octoberrain

@interrupted. I know. Right. I have not logged off since I have found SR. lol

outtolunch

When I discovered SR about 4.5 years ago, it was a Godsend for me. At the time I was incapable of a sentence that was not about my daughter. I read all stickies, all posts in all forums and then went back and did it again and again, including backstories on hundreds of posters.

It was the begining of my own recovery as first responder to my daughter's chaos.

lisasneeze

Well it's much better than having an obsession with an addict....at least you get something out of SR that is beneficial and people here care for real!

LuvMySis

Octoberrain, I do the same thing. It's better than doing what your avatar is doing! If you read one post that's helpful, or make a comment back to someone that helps them, then it's all worth it. Nobody can quite understand the ugly world of addiction like the people here can. I will say a prayer for you and your son.

DavinsGrammy

I also check in here often. It helps to know we are not alone in this. I'm quite sure my sisters and friends are thankful for it as well because since finding SR I don't pester them with phone calls , lol.

octoberrain

Luvmysis, that avatar is how I feel. You got that. I must tell you all, coming here is much better then what I was doing. It has been 4 days and I have resisted the urge to call or text my AS. When I get the feeling I can not take it anymore, I come here. I do not even close it. lol
I just did not want you all to think I am a whiner and sick of hearing me. I guess that is why I come here because I think family and friends are sick of me.
Thank you all

Maybe I will be able to change my avatar soon!

Ilovemysonjj

Octoberrain, we are NOT sick of you. I do think it gets easier as time goes by to start to detach, it still hurts but you begin to do other things , you begin to live again.
Please visit as much as you need to , post, scream, cry, do what you need to let go.
Hugs
TT

JMFburns

I agree that using SR as an outlet to the desire to track your son's every move is a healthier option. As one poster mentioned, I usually always read something that seems to be directed to me, helpful to me, meaningful to me. It is kind of the same way the readings in One Day At A Time, Courage To Change or the NarAnon, Experience Stength & Hope seem to be just what I need on any given day!

Keep reading, keep posting, keep commenting, whatever helps you make it a bit more sanely through each day.

PrayingMama

I started a thread today especially to express my gratitude to the people on SR. It's vague on details because the specifics of what happened today are too much for me to write about just yet. But SR made such a life-saving difference in MY life today, and I wasn't even on the boards at the time, that I still feel my attempts at thanking everyone are inadequate. Sometimes the more deeply I feel something, the harder it can be for me to express it.

SR is a life and sanity-saver for me.

amaslow

This just speaks to the degree of stress you have and the need for support. I did the same thing on Prison Talk when my son was in prison..Just make sure you are not neglecting things you need to do.. Your "obession" will lesson as you get confidence in taking care of yourself.

Kindeyes

My recovery is number one in my life. I spend a lot of time on it (which includes time here on SR). My dear husband is so grateful and supportive because he had a front row seat to MY insanity for a very long time and he sees my progress. He reaps the benefit of my work. He understands how important it is to me. He has his wife back.

A recovering addict told me that anything that he places before his own recovery is the first thing he will lose. I found that pretty interesting and true of myself as well. The time I spend on my recovery allows me to spend the rest of my time living my life instead of setting up camp in the insanity of my son's addiction. Every day that I spend working on my recovery I learn something new and I reinforce the things I've already learned.

This same man explained that he believes that the journey of the "anon" is tougher than the journey of the addict. (that surprised me) When the addict stops using, there is a degree of instant gratification right out of the gate so to speak. But the "anon" is trying to change attitudes, mindsets and behaviors right out of the gate and those changes are sloooooow. There is very little progress initially. And slow progress makes it much easier to abandon the process. What's worse, is that most of the people who love an addict don't have a clue that THEY have a problem. And they ARE the problem. And just like the addict, they have a choice to fix it.

If you want things to get better for you, then spend as much time and effort on making that happen as you can. The benefits come slowly......but they do come.

gentle hugs
ke

octoberrain

KE, wow, that was powerful! I mean it. I hope one day I will be where you are in my life. Did you notice I did not say one day soon. See I am listening.
I thought I could save him, control him. You are my son, I say no more drugs and just like when he was a kid he would say, ok mom and stop the bad.
Ke, i feel like I am going insane it hurts so bad.

Kindeyes

I understand.

When I was at that point I had to do something with that crazy energy. I did some pretty nutty things to get it OUT of me. I would take a shower and scream, sob, and YELL at God. I cant tell you how many times i wound up in the fetal position at the bottom of the shower......just crying. I'm sure God understood. I would go out in my garage where I have my elliptical and I would exercise with relentless energy until i was exhausted. While on the elliptical I would scream (loud primal screams), play loud music, cry....if my neighbors heard me.....they must have thought I was nuttier than a fruitcake. Good thing our houses arent too close together or im sure the police would have been called. But I don't care. It's what I did to get that icky, soul consuming, negative energy out of me and I always felt better after I did it.

I seldom get that full body, all consuming icky feeling anymore. But if I do, those are my tools. Better out than in......and that's how I get it out. Consider finding something to do that purges that negative, all consuming feeling. Whatever it may be for you.....and do it.

Have you considered going to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting? If not, think about it. Once I reached my breaking point.....the mother of all lows........I found tremendous relief working the program I wished my son would.

gentle hugs
ke