octoberrain

KE, I was going to go this Tuesday and chickened out. There is one next week. I am going to try and make it.
So when I scream and cry and flip out like I am losing it, I really am not. I am just releasing bad energy. I thought I was having a nervous brake down and have been trying to hold it back.
I am afraid of I start crying, I will not be able to stop!

worried5699

Please Please help. I have a wonderful 13 year old son who has recently admitted to using marijuana he is on house arrest for a really poor judgement call on his behalf. I decided to start having him tested through my doctor's office for recent use, it came back from the lab clean. I took him to a court appointed counselor and before he left they drug screened him. They said the line was faint but it was positive, I call the doctor's office back and the physician claims that a faint line means it is neg on a 5 panel rapid screen but, the counselor is reporting to probation that this is a positive result and he is at risk of being removed for violation. I am freaking out because we also, have a compliance order so we are at risk of losing him, being arrested, and possibly resulting in the demotion of my husband's rank in service(and investigation of our competency of having our other 4 children) a big mess and no answers

MeredithD1

moved to its own topic here

MeredithD1

Cry if you really need to - there was a book I read years ago that is called How to Survive the Loss of a Love, and much of it stuck with me through the years - one quote that applies here (paraphrased) "You may feel like your pain is bottomless. It isn't."

Kindeyes

I understand the whole chickening out thing. Change takes a lot of courage.

And no....you weren't going crazy. When we move THROUGH the feelings rather than shoving them down.....it does get better. I seldom have those raging, screamfests anymore. And there is no doubt in my mind that God understands my angry words. I'd venture to guess He's heard them before. I got the negative energy out and it made room for positive energy.

Go to the meeting next week. Imagine that the room is full of your new friends from SR.....and keep going back. There is no doubt in my mind.....it does work if you work it.

gentle hugs
ke

octoberrain

KE, I am not afraid of change. I need it. When EVER I leave the house I have like an anxiety attack. I think it comes from when my AS was missing the last time. I was always afraid if I left the house he might call or come and I would not be there.
You are so sweet and I look forward to hearing from you.
I do not think you know how much you have done for me in the past few days.
I want to thank you and everyone else that has been here for me.

Scrapbooker

Octoberrain, it took me 5 years to finally attend a meeting. I cried throu most of the first 2 meetings I attended. Believe me, people in the meetings will understand. My Monday night al anon meeting of mostly parents is so incredibly helpful.

octoberrain

KE, thank you for letting me know that I am not going crazy. One of the reason I did not go to the meeting was, I thought I would start crying and not be able to stop and they would cart me off to the loony bin!

octoberrain

Thank you Scrapbooker, I think the more I hear from everyone how much it helps the more I want to go.

Kindeyes

My first several meetings I couldn't even talk. I was in such despair. I just cried......sometimes quietly......sometimes unconsolable sobbing. That was several years ago. Because I have worked hard, working the steps, understanding myself, and finding my own serenity, I seldom shed tears at meetings these days. But I let a few fly this last Thursday. They were tears of hope during the presentation by a guest speaker from NA.

If we hauled off all the people who balled during meetings, no one would be in those rooms.

gentle hugs
ke