First alanon meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 8
First alanon meeting
An update to my other thread "At a loss"
Well, I went to alanon on Friday. It was good.
I didn't talk, but I definitely cried a lot.
I know I'm not alone in this, but hearing people talk about the same feelings I'm having was, in a weird way, reassuring.
At the end, some guy just came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and I just burst into tears. It was pretty embarrassing. LOL I'm just so overwhelmed!!
I am in the middle of a battle of emotions. I'm mad, sad, hurt, betrayed, everything all at once.
A woman came up to me and gave me her number. She is in the same type of situation as me, but has been in alanon longer.
It was nice to be able to talk to someone in real life who really knows what I'm going through. We both have kids. We both were shocked by our perfect lives being turned upside down.
I did make a decision though. I realized I'm punishing my AH. Not outright, but still. It's obvious to him I treat him differently. I was (am) so mad and sad that I wanted him to hurt. I want him to feel a fraction of the emotions I am feeling. He takes it all without complaint, as he says he knows he caused this all. I decided I can't do that. If I want my marriage to work, I need to stop.
It's in the past and it's done. We need to move forward.
There is still a lot of work. I still do not trust him, but I know that will take a long time to build back. But this past weekend was one of the best weekends we've had since I found out about everything.
Well, I went to alanon on Friday. It was good.
I didn't talk, but I definitely cried a lot.
I know I'm not alone in this, but hearing people talk about the same feelings I'm having was, in a weird way, reassuring.
At the end, some guy just came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and I just burst into tears. It was pretty embarrassing. LOL I'm just so overwhelmed!!
I am in the middle of a battle of emotions. I'm mad, sad, hurt, betrayed, everything all at once.
A woman came up to me and gave me her number. She is in the same type of situation as me, but has been in alanon longer.
It was nice to be able to talk to someone in real life who really knows what I'm going through. We both have kids. We both were shocked by our perfect lives being turned upside down.
I did make a decision though. I realized I'm punishing my AH. Not outright, but still. It's obvious to him I treat him differently. I was (am) so mad and sad that I wanted him to hurt. I want him to feel a fraction of the emotions I am feeling. He takes it all without complaint, as he says he knows he caused this all. I decided I can't do that. If I want my marriage to work, I need to stop.
It's in the past and it's done. We need to move forward.
There is still a lot of work. I still do not trust him, but I know that will take a long time to build back. But this past weekend was one of the best weekends we've had since I found out about everything.
am hugging you right now. 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
