One Hard-Headed Human
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One Hard-Headed Human
After AS release from jail, I learned more about his short stay. After I carried the antibiotic infusion there, he refused to use it. Said he would not wear it while there. They tried to force him which led to confrontation, being strapped down, being slapped and put in a padded cell. (I'm sure my son was innocent of any wrong-doing) Son still refused to wear it, so the judge let him go the next morning! Not even they wanted to deal with this.
This was 4 days without the meds, I think. Then the picc line completely came out. He called me and I did take him to the ER again for another long night. But the doctor wanted to admit him because it was late in the day. My hard-headed, foolish son refused to stay and said he could come back the next morning (which did make a little bit of sense, but I wouldn't tell him that). He asked doc for oral antibiotics and the doc refused and said son was leaving AMA.
Oh, and it really didn't matter that he didn't get the picc line because home health dropped him and no one else could be found to take him in. Docs will not send patient home with picc line without the home health care.
He has appt. in morning with infectious disease doctor. Hopefully he will place son on oral antibiotics. He hasn't had any now for 9 days.
Just updating. I'm doing fine - just seem tired most of the time. Hubby is okay, too. Thanks to those of you who have been supportive. I truly appreciate it.
This was 4 days without the meds, I think. Then the picc line completely came out. He called me and I did take him to the ER again for another long night. But the doctor wanted to admit him because it was late in the day. My hard-headed, foolish son refused to stay and said he could come back the next morning (which did make a little bit of sense, but I wouldn't tell him that). He asked doc for oral antibiotics and the doc refused and said son was leaving AMA.
Oh, and it really didn't matter that he didn't get the picc line because home health dropped him and no one else could be found to take him in. Docs will not send patient home with picc line without the home health care.
He has appt. in morning with infectious disease doctor. Hopefully he will place son on oral antibiotics. He hasn't had any now for 9 days.
Just updating. I'm doing fine - just seem tired most of the time. Hubby is okay, too. Thanks to those of you who have been supportive. I truly appreciate it.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Knoxville, TN
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My daughter has acted the same way before.. It is just how messed up their sense of reality is due to the drugs.. The just get in denial.. If it doesn't seem to be an issue now,it doesn't matter!!!!
The ID physician will have to prescibe based on clinical practice standards...He could refuse to treat at all if your son is non-compliant.. Hopefully, he will be understanding...Homehealth could come out an instruct a family member to administer if there is someone willing and able to do that. They had to discharge him before because he was not home, right? They may be willing to re-admit him and do the visits.
Hopefully, he got enough of an antibiotic blood level to keep things at bay, but it probably will flare up again without full treatment.
Ask your son what his plan is for care if he becomes paralyzed.Tell him it could come on quickly and he will probably loose bowel and bladder control and will have to be in nursing home.
I don't know that he would meet criteria to have him delcared incompetent and make him get care. But really, that is almost what the situation is!
Hang in there.. Praying for you and your son!! Keep us posted!!
The ID physician will have to prescibe based on clinical practice standards...He could refuse to treat at all if your son is non-compliant.. Hopefully, he will be understanding...Homehealth could come out an instruct a family member to administer if there is someone willing and able to do that. They had to discharge him before because he was not home, right? They may be willing to re-admit him and do the visits.
Hopefully, he got enough of an antibiotic blood level to keep things at bay, but it probably will flare up again without full treatment.
Ask your son what his plan is for care if he becomes paralyzed.Tell him it could come on quickly and he will probably loose bowel and bladder control and will have to be in nursing home.
I don't know that he would meet criteria to have him delcared incompetent and make him get care. But really, that is almost what the situation is!
Hang in there.. Praying for you and your son!! Keep us posted!!
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Amaslow, there is no one near enough to take care of the IV. I can go once a week if necessary. He's about an hour from me now.
I believe the 1st home health facility used the excuse that he was readmiitted to a hospital and the move as well, but it was more like he was just difficult.
Before leaving the second hospital stay, the 2nd health care facility supposedly agreed to take him and there was a supplier. The hospital wouldn't release him without follow up care. But then after his arrest, the health care agency said they never agreed to take him. They never called or came even before the arrest. I find myself wanting to take blame for that for taking the meds to him in the jail in the first place. Apparently the nurses there called the agency.
Can the ID doc really refuse to treat him? He has never been there to have an issue with this one. He's also supposed to go back to the surgeon and have another MRI next week. Guess I will go back with him tomorrow. It usually helps with more respect with the doctors. Maybe I shouldn't even take him, but I can't ignore this part of his issues.
I believe the 1st home health facility used the excuse that he was readmiitted to a hospital and the move as well, but it was more like he was just difficult.
Before leaving the second hospital stay, the 2nd health care facility supposedly agreed to take him and there was a supplier. The hospital wouldn't release him without follow up care. But then after his arrest, the health care agency said they never agreed to take him. They never called or came even before the arrest. I find myself wanting to take blame for that for taking the meds to him in the jail in the first place. Apparently the nurses there called the agency.
Can the ID doc really refuse to treat him? He has never been there to have an issue with this one. He's also supposed to go back to the surgeon and have another MRI next week. Guess I will go back with him tomorrow. It usually helps with more respect with the doctors. Maybe I shouldn't even take him, but I can't ignore this part of his issues.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Good grief. Maybe it would be better if you just left your son to deal--or not deal--with his own issues. Maybe if he's outright difficult and disrespectful with the doctors, that will force a crisis and...who knows. It's a terrible situation. I agree with amaslow about the possibility of not being treated because of non-compliance. Also wonder about the issue of incompetence, but have no idea what that involves these days (last time family was involved in such an issue was more than 30 years ago).
I want to say just leave him to his own devices, but as a mother myself, I know you're between a rock and hard place. I pray you get the rest you need.
I want to say just leave him to his own devices, but as a mother myself, I know you're between a rock and hard place. I pray you get the rest you need.
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If I leave him without a way to.the doctor, which is an hour away fro him, there is no question of the outcome. So this much I will do. This.he is worried about himself now, so that should help with following doctor's orders. I don't think committing and declaring him incompetent will work. It happened in Nov. And they only kept him 2 weeks and aid nothing was wrong except drugs.
So just praying about today, hoping for the best.
It's just a sad situation
So just praying about today, hoping for the best.
It's just a sad situation
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Washbe......you are such a kind and loving mother. I do understand how much you love this man who is your son. I can see myself in you.....reacting to the huge fear that he could become seriously disabled.....or worse. And it's affecting you.....wearing you down.
When we fight to overcome the addiction (or stubbornness) of someone we love, it's a losing battle that takes a terrible toll on us. And often, for whatever reason, it has the absolute opposite effect from what we are trying to achieve! I don't know why that is, but I've seen it time and time again with my own situation.
Personally, I had to stop fighting and begin to accept. Addiction was taking me down with my son. I had to face my fear. Look it right in the eye and it's awful. Letting go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a mother when I thought my son was incapable of making the right choices for himself.
I do believe that God is trying to do something with my son and with me.....and I was every bit as stubborn as your son is.....maybe more so.....I refused to get out of God's way.
I finally had to give my adult son the dignity of living his life the way he wants to.....even if I don't agree with it and it is detrimental to his health. My son is (and many of our sons and daughters are) in danger of dying....every single day.....but if that is all I think about, it is the waste of two lives.....his and mine. I refuse to allow the final score to be.....me 0.....addiction 2.
Today I pray for my son and turn him over to his Higher Power. You and your dear son will be in my prayers today too.
gentle hugs
ke
When we fight to overcome the addiction (or stubbornness) of someone we love, it's a losing battle that takes a terrible toll on us. And often, for whatever reason, it has the absolute opposite effect from what we are trying to achieve! I don't know why that is, but I've seen it time and time again with my own situation.
Personally, I had to stop fighting and begin to accept. Addiction was taking me down with my son. I had to face my fear. Look it right in the eye and it's awful. Letting go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a mother when I thought my son was incapable of making the right choices for himself.
I do believe that God is trying to do something with my son and with me.....and I was every bit as stubborn as your son is.....maybe more so.....I refused to get out of God's way.
I finally had to give my adult son the dignity of living his life the way he wants to.....even if I don't agree with it and it is detrimental to his health. My son is (and many of our sons and daughters are) in danger of dying....every single day.....but if that is all I think about, it is the waste of two lives.....his and mine. I refuse to allow the final score to be.....me 0.....addiction 2.
Today I pray for my son and turn him over to his Higher Power. You and your dear son will be in my prayers today too.
gentle hugs
ke
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes 
When we fight to overcome the addiction (or stubbornness) of someone we love, it's a losing battle that takes a terrible toll on us. And often, for whatever reason, it has the absolute opposite effect from what we are trying to achieve! I don't know why that is, but I've seen it time and time again with my own situation.
Until the addiction was addressed, there was no progress to be made in any areas of her life.
I was the 'fixer', and didn't realize I was the proverbial Dutch boy with his finger stuck in the dike, only my story didn't end as well. The flood happened anyway.
It was exhausting in every sense of the word, and did nothing to change the course of my AD's life.
I had to let go of any semblance of "control" over her life.
Sending you hugs of support, washbe2!
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Originally Posted by washbe2
They tried to force him which led to confrontation, being strapped down, being slapped and put in a padded cell. (I'm sure my son was innocent of any wrong-doing) Son still refused to wear it, so the judge let him go the next morning! Not even they wanted to deal with this.
Sounds like your son really has the "all eyes on me" thing down pat.
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Yes, I know it sounds fishy about being hit. Before he told me, I had already noticed the marks on his face and the puffy eye. I never acknowledged it at all. Just know it happened, andd I'm sure he must have been giving them a difficult time.
I don't want the score to be me-0 , addiction -2 either. Perhaps he gets a little of the stubbornness from me! I will say I have let go of much, but I have to at least try to get him treatment for this infection, because I know if I don't, and he should wind up an invalid, I would never forgive myself. If he is non-compliant today and is refused treatment for that reason, then I will know I've done all I can do give him the opportunity for treatment.
Sitting in office now, praying all goes well. He did bring clothing in case he is kept, and he feels bad, attitude has been low-key though awake most of night.
Guess I've almost begun journaling here. Forgive me for that and God bless each one of you in your struggles.
I don't want the score to be me-0 , addiction -2 either. Perhaps he gets a little of the stubbornness from me! I will say I have let go of much, but I have to at least try to get him treatment for this infection, because I know if I don't, and he should wind up an invalid, I would never forgive myself. If he is non-compliant today and is refused treatment for that reason, then I will know I've done all I can do give him the opportunity for treatment.
Sitting in office now, praying all goes well. He did bring clothing in case he is kept, and he feels bad, attitude has been low-key though awake most of night.
Guess I've almost begun journaling here. Forgive me for that and God bless each one of you in your struggles.
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I don't want the score to be me-0 , addiction -2 either. Perhaps he gets a little of the stubbornness from me!
I can feel your pain and fear for your son's life in all of your posts, but this might be something to think about......
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Originally Posted by amaslow
Ask your son what his plan is for care if he becomes paralyzed.Tell him it could come on quickly and he will probably loose bowel and bladder control and will have to be in nursing home.
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I have been praying for your son, and for you, since the day I first read your story. I pray for all people struggling with addiction and their loved ones every day.
I hope that GOD will hear all of our prayers and is watching out over all of the addicts who still struggle.
My stepson was told by the doctors in the hospital where he detoxed that if he ever started drinking again, it would kill him. We believe he has started drinking again.....
I hope that GOD will hear all of our prayers and is watching out over all of the addicts who still struggle.
My stepson was told by the doctors in the hospital where he detoxed that if he ever started drinking again, it would kill him. We believe he has started drinking again.....
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Doctor did put son on oral antibiotics. Hopefully he will take them as prescribed. If he doesn't, I can't help it. Done all I can do in this area. Will take him back for MRI and appt. with the surgeon next Friday. Maybe that will bring some closure to all of this medical stuff.
I know I have to let go and many of you don't understand what's taking me so long. Actually, I don't either, other than the illness and my FOG. Maybe after next Friday if there is good news, I can begin to live again.
I know I have to let go and many of you don't understand what's taking me so long. Actually, I don't either, other than the illness and my FOG. Maybe after next Friday if there is good news, I can begin to live again.
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Washbe,
I'm so glad to hear that the Dr. put your son on oral antibiotics. I think that you're doing the right things as a Mother. I do so hope & pray for good news next Friday, for your son & for you. I know that you need a reprieve. I hope then you'll take a mini-vacation or more. ( in the form of pleasurable pampering self time)
******************{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}
I'm so glad to hear that the Dr. put your son on oral antibiotics. I think that you're doing the right things as a Mother. I do so hope & pray for good news next Friday, for your son & for you. I know that you need a reprieve. I hope then you'll take a mini-vacation or more. ( in the form of pleasurable pampering self time)
******************{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}
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Originally Posted by washbe2
Doctor did put son on oral antibiotics. Hopefully he will take them as prescribed. If he doesn't, I can't help it. Done all I can do in this area. Will take him back for MRI and appt. with the surgeon next Friday. Maybe that will bring some closure to all of this medical stuff.
I know I have to let go and many of you don't understand what's taking me so long. Actually, I don't either, other than the illness and my FOG. Maybe after next Friday if there is good news, I can begin to live again.
I know I have to let go and many of you don't understand what's taking me so long. Actually, I don't either, other than the illness and my FOG. Maybe after next Friday if there is good news, I can begin to live again.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
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Washbe, you and your boy are in my prayers every day. I know how it is to live in the fear that they may die. If only they lived in the same fear, maybe they would try harder to live.
When is the last time you saw your doctor? For a full physical checkup? I ask because I was so busy caring for my son that I almost missed some critical health issues in myself, that I chose to dismiss as nothing because I didn't have time to take care of my son and me both. You know I say this with love in my heart, but sweetie, you need to take care of yourself too.
Big hugs from another mama's heart.
When is the last time you saw your doctor? For a full physical checkup? I ask because I was so busy caring for my son that I almost missed some critical health issues in myself, that I chose to dismiss as nothing because I didn't have time to take care of my son and me both. You know I say this with love in my heart, but sweetie, you need to take care of yourself too.
Big hugs from another mama's heart.
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