Leanora

I'm brand new here and so very glad I found this support board. I was married to an abusive alcholic for almost 20 years. I finally walked away after many years of counseling and Al-Anon. That was quite a few years ago. Now here we go again. My sister was rushed to the ER last week for taking my father's diabetes medication to get high because she couldn't seem to get her hands on anything else. Her daughter found her laying on the kitchen floor in her own excrement, foaming at the mouth and unconscious. That was Tuesday. That is when I finally saw how bad of an enabler my parents were. They had been supplying my sister with drugs by not confronting her about their missing medications. They are both on pain medication for illness. My mom just had her hip replaced and my father has been going through chemo and radiation for liver cancer. I found out she has been going to my 70 something year old parents' house and stealing their pain meds. She starting taking it one step further, and replacing their pain meds with antianxiety medication that almost killed my mother. My mom told me this weekend she didn't want to call the police on her daughter so kept it a secret from all of us. That's how my family is. Keep everything secret. Only tell part of the truth. Never the full truth. I tried to finally speak up and tell everyone, my parents and 2 sisters how angry I am right now. I'm the hateful one for not being supportive. Supportive of what? She's in the hospital and told her daughter she's just going through the motions so the doctors will let her out. I'm now once again suffering panic attacks and actually having nightmares almost like night terrors about my ex-husband and all of his abuse. I thought I had come so far, and now here we go again. I think its time to start with some healthy boundaries. For some reason, it seems to be a little harder with my sister than it was with my husband though. I think because my family now considers me the bad guy for wanting boundaries.

outtolunch

Oh boy. Diabetes meds. That's a new one. Your sister is sick.

I sure am sorry for what had brought you here, today. You have no more control over your sisters and your parents than you had over your ex-husband. Only thing you can control is your reaction to people and events beyond your control.

What others think of us is none of our business. It sure does hurt when it's family. Forgive them of their ignorance of all things addiction and codependency. Your parents are likely to love your sister into an early grave.

Does it make sense to get involved with Alanon again and offer to drive your
parents and/or other family members to meetings, too. Melody's Beattie's Codependent No More book might also might also do you and others a world of good. You can find used copies at Amazon for about $1.00.

It's your choice to step out of the chaos of addiction and codependency.

Leanora

Thank you! I do know all of this from before, but sometimes you need it put in front of you again. Yes, my sister is very sick. I can't comprehend how in the world diabetes medicine could get someone high. I do know it took 3 days in intensive care to regulate her blood sugar. Then she started to crash and attacked her husband and threatened to kill her children. What a mess. My parents are sure its not an addiction but mental illness. She told them that the toxicology report came back clean. I got yelled at for questioning that one too. But you are right. I can only control myself. I have read Codependent No More a few times. In fact, I have highlighted areas in the book that I used to read over and over to help myself. Time to pull the book out again. I decided earlier to start attending meetings again too. They always helped me feel empowered. I brought it up to my family, but they flat out refused. I guess they are not there yet. Just bringing it up caused a huge blowout and I'm not willing to put myself through that again.

Learn2Live

I am so sorry Leanora. I have no ESH I can think of at this moment to share regarding your situation. But I also have relapsed back into the codie hell that almost killed me 15 years ago. I also have started going back to meetings, and also AA. I hope you are better soon.