Scared but showing progress
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 267
Scared but showing progress
Just sharing as a sort of "shout out" to myself. Comments are welcome too 
AH and I have been going through some stress related to our preschooler. He has primary custody but BM is also still involved. I scheduled an appointment with a child counselor so that he and I could go in. My hopes were that she could give us some guidance to cope with some of his aggressive behavior in daycare and also that it would give us somewhere to vent our frustration at BMs tendency to feed into his aggression (letting him play violent video games and watch violent movies, not coming to meetings at daycare, etc). I had met the counselor and really liked her. AH told me he was interested in going and voiced that he thought it would be helpful.
The appointment was bad, bad, bad and I'm not really sure what happened.
The counselor texted me to let me know that she had an emergency with another client and was running 15 minutes late. We arrived according to that timeframe and even with this we still had to wait another 20 minutes (strike 1). AH reviewed the contract while we were waiting and freaked out about the cost (strike 2). I tried to explain to him that we were only responsible for the co-pay but he wasn't much listening at that point.
By the time she came out to the waiting area he was done. He was visibly aggitated and refused to make eye contact with her or me. He said it was too late to do the counseling session (8:30 pm) and that we would just have to reschedule. I asked if we could just do half an hour instead of the full hour and she was fine with that. Then he said he just wasn't interested and walked out.
He vented to me in the car that he didn't like her because 1) it was unprofessional to keep us waiting that long, 2) she was young - about our age (late 30s) and 3) he felt like she was condescending. He dropped me off at the house and went out to buy a 6-pack.
Yay me though. I felt scared but did not freak out. I did not lecture. I did not argue. I did not follow him around the house like a puppy and try to comfort him. I worked on my cross-stitch and watched television.
He says he'll try another counselor but wants a male who is older. We'll see.
I'm nervous because it's coming up on a year since his big breakdown. This is his stressful time of year at work and he does not have a history of good coping skills. He has taken up running in the past year and also has been studying some Buddhism and both seem to have been helpful.
Gotta remember to keep myself on track. My panic will not help him and will only cause me pain. Fake it 'til I make it.
AH and I have been going through some stress related to our preschooler. He has primary custody but BM is also still involved. I scheduled an appointment with a child counselor so that he and I could go in. My hopes were that she could give us some guidance to cope with some of his aggressive behavior in daycare and also that it would give us somewhere to vent our frustration at BMs tendency to feed into his aggression (letting him play violent video games and watch violent movies, not coming to meetings at daycare, etc). I had met the counselor and really liked her. AH told me he was interested in going and voiced that he thought it would be helpful.
The appointment was bad, bad, bad and I'm not really sure what happened.
The counselor texted me to let me know that she had an emergency with another client and was running 15 minutes late. We arrived according to that timeframe and even with this we still had to wait another 20 minutes (strike 1). AH reviewed the contract while we were waiting and freaked out about the cost (strike 2). I tried to explain to him that we were only responsible for the co-pay but he wasn't much listening at that point.
By the time she came out to the waiting area he was done. He was visibly aggitated and refused to make eye contact with her or me. He said it was too late to do the counseling session (8:30 pm) and that we would just have to reschedule. I asked if we could just do half an hour instead of the full hour and she was fine with that. Then he said he just wasn't interested and walked out.
He vented to me in the car that he didn't like her because 1) it was unprofessional to keep us waiting that long, 2) she was young - about our age (late 30s) and 3) he felt like she was condescending. He dropped me off at the house and went out to buy a 6-pack.
Yay me though. I felt scared but did not freak out. I did not lecture. I did not argue. I did not follow him around the house like a puppy and try to comfort him. I worked on my cross-stitch and watched television.
He says he'll try another counselor but wants a male who is older. We'll see.
I'm nervous because it's coming up on a year since his big breakdown. This is his stressful time of year at work and he does not have a history of good coping skills. He has taken up running in the past year and also has been studying some Buddhism and both seem to have been helpful.
Gotta remember to keep myself on track. My panic will not help him and will only cause me pain. Fake it 'til I make it.
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Location: Chicago area
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Oh lordy....his coping skills are in the range of a preschooler. Let him find the perfect counselor ( roll eyes) . In the meantime, stay the course or decide if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Originally Posted by outtolunch 
Oh lordy....his coping skills are in the range of a preschooler. Let him find the perfect counselor ( roll eyes) . In the meantime, stay the course or decide if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life.
It was interesting (but scary) for me to see because he seems to have improved his coping skill so much in the past 9 months. Maybe it just seemed that way because the stressors were so minimal. Same for me too I think. I feel like I'm making better choices but maybe I've just not had the pressure. I think it may be time for me to do another check-in with my counselor.
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