My mom's health is in trouble
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3
My mom's health is in trouble
I’m not sure if anyone on here will be able or willing to give me advice about this, but I am so worried for my mother’s health that I don’t know where else to go. I really do believe this may be a question of life and death.
I am 22 years old and my mom is 53. She currently lives in Switzerland and I live in Florida. Despite how far away she is, I am aware that she takes terrible care of her body. We visit several times a year, and I have witnessed many issues surrounding the neglect of her health. This has been a problem for a while now, and it has gotten worse since she and my dad split up a few years ago. There are specific problems affecting her health. My mom has a long-standing habit of going days without eating very much at all, and in recent years, she has lost a lot of weight. Her natural body type is somewhat curvy, but lately she has been much thinner than what is normal for her. Many people have tried to talk with her about this in the past, including her own parents, myself, my sister, and other family members and friends, but she is very stubborn and has never listened to any of us. Whenever we ask her what she has eaten today, she usually lies.
But this is not the only problem. My mom also severely deprives herself of sleep. For as long as I can remember, she has only slept about 4 hours each night or less. Sometimes she sleeps more, but it is very rare. This habit also has its own scary effects. Because my mom does not receive enough energy from food or sleep, her body is in a constant state of exhaustion, which is why she has to force herself to be active and productive 24/7. Sometimes it seems she has a literal addiction to being productive and unnaturally hyper, and it severely irks her when others decide we should all relax. If my mom sits down to relax for even a moment, she will quickly start to fall asleep. My mom is always very insistent on having loud music playing and lots of hyperactive things to do so that she will stay awake. Otherwise, her body would begin to shut down. Sometimes we do active things with her, but other times, we decide to relax or watch a movie together. However, if we sit down to watch a movie, she insists on doing busy chores at the same time like cleaning. Whenever she sits down to watch a movie and is not also doing something else very active, she cannot focus, and she immediately falls asleep, even if it is the middle of the day. That is why she demands that she clean and watch a movie at the same time.
Because my mom is sleep deprived and food deprived, her body has no way to generate energy, and that is why she began taking Phentermine. She is now completely dependent on it. My dad has been mailing her bottles of Phentermine for a long time now. (They are still friends.) She has told me that the prescription is hers, but I believe there is someone else’s name on the bottle. Even though what they are doing is illegal, my dad is very easily manipulated by her. He cares more about “pleasing” her than he does about her wellbeing. She tells him whatever she has to in order to make him comply, and he always does. Her most recent excuse was that she needed the pills for her trip to Thailand, because she would be very busy and the time change would make her have jetlag.
What my mother is doing to her body is very dangerous. I took a lot of health classes in college, and I learned that people can die very quickly from lack of sleep, especially if they are artificially forcing their body into a state of hyperactivity. She is also not eating enough, and the problems can be much worse if you try to replace food and sleep with drugs. People who force their body to stay awake by using drugs can sometimes have heart attacks, even if the person is very young. My mom is getting older however, and she has been abusing her body for many years. I am very worried about what will happen to her. My family and I have tried to talk to her many times but she is always dishonest with us. I can also clearly see that her ability to make logical judgments has been compensated, because she also takes the drugs to suppress her appetite, despite the fact that she is very thin.
This is obviously a very complicated issue because my mom lives in another country. And even though it’s very difficult for most people to get a hold of certain drugs from overseas, I have no doubt in my mind that my mom will always have abundant resources to fuel her attainment of Phentermine. She has an unlimited number of friends all over the world and even if I could cut off this current resource (my dad), I’m positive she would find another way.
I don’t know what to do and would be so incredibly grateful for any advice anyone can give me. I’ve just read so many horrifying things about Phentermine abuse, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to my mom. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because I know we can’t control other people, but my mom desperately needs someone to protect her from herself. There has already been a lot of conflict surrounding this issue, and she usually uses any tactic she can grasp at to villainize those who are concerned. She accuses us of “trying to control her.” Please help!
I am 22 years old and my mom is 53. She currently lives in Switzerland and I live in Florida. Despite how far away she is, I am aware that she takes terrible care of her body. We visit several times a year, and I have witnessed many issues surrounding the neglect of her health. This has been a problem for a while now, and it has gotten worse since she and my dad split up a few years ago. There are specific problems affecting her health. My mom has a long-standing habit of going days without eating very much at all, and in recent years, she has lost a lot of weight. Her natural body type is somewhat curvy, but lately she has been much thinner than what is normal for her. Many people have tried to talk with her about this in the past, including her own parents, myself, my sister, and other family members and friends, but she is very stubborn and has never listened to any of us. Whenever we ask her what she has eaten today, she usually lies.
But this is not the only problem. My mom also severely deprives herself of sleep. For as long as I can remember, she has only slept about 4 hours each night or less. Sometimes she sleeps more, but it is very rare. This habit also has its own scary effects. Because my mom does not receive enough energy from food or sleep, her body is in a constant state of exhaustion, which is why she has to force herself to be active and productive 24/7. Sometimes it seems she has a literal addiction to being productive and unnaturally hyper, and it severely irks her when others decide we should all relax. If my mom sits down to relax for even a moment, she will quickly start to fall asleep. My mom is always very insistent on having loud music playing and lots of hyperactive things to do so that she will stay awake. Otherwise, her body would begin to shut down. Sometimes we do active things with her, but other times, we decide to relax or watch a movie together. However, if we sit down to watch a movie, she insists on doing busy chores at the same time like cleaning. Whenever she sits down to watch a movie and is not also doing something else very active, she cannot focus, and she immediately falls asleep, even if it is the middle of the day. That is why she demands that she clean and watch a movie at the same time.
Because my mom is sleep deprived and food deprived, her body has no way to generate energy, and that is why she began taking Phentermine. She is now completely dependent on it. My dad has been mailing her bottles of Phentermine for a long time now. (They are still friends.) She has told me that the prescription is hers, but I believe there is someone else’s name on the bottle. Even though what they are doing is illegal, my dad is very easily manipulated by her. He cares more about “pleasing” her than he does about her wellbeing. She tells him whatever she has to in order to make him comply, and he always does. Her most recent excuse was that she needed the pills for her trip to Thailand, because she would be very busy and the time change would make her have jetlag.
What my mother is doing to her body is very dangerous. I took a lot of health classes in college, and I learned that people can die very quickly from lack of sleep, especially if they are artificially forcing their body into a state of hyperactivity. She is also not eating enough, and the problems can be much worse if you try to replace food and sleep with drugs. People who force their body to stay awake by using drugs can sometimes have heart attacks, even if the person is very young. My mom is getting older however, and she has been abusing her body for many years. I am very worried about what will happen to her. My family and I have tried to talk to her many times but she is always dishonest with us. I can also clearly see that her ability to make logical judgments has been compensated, because she also takes the drugs to suppress her appetite, despite the fact that she is very thin.
This is obviously a very complicated issue because my mom lives in another country. And even though it’s very difficult for most people to get a hold of certain drugs from overseas, I have no doubt in my mind that my mom will always have abundant resources to fuel her attainment of Phentermine. She has an unlimited number of friends all over the world and even if I could cut off this current resource (my dad), I’m positive she would find another way.
I don’t know what to do and would be so incredibly grateful for any advice anyone can give me. I’ve just read so many horrifying things about Phentermine abuse, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to my mom. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because I know we can’t control other people, but my mom desperately needs someone to protect her from herself. There has already been a lot of conflict surrounding this issue, and she usually uses any tactic she can grasp at to villainize those who are concerned. She accuses us of “trying to control her.” Please help!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Sounds like mom has an eating disorder and is addicted to speed, an amphetamine, Phentermine, a medication for weight loss. This may also be a chicken/egg thing.
You have no control over her or your dad. It is however worth a shot to educate dad. Mom sounds resourceful enough to get her own pills.
You might want to consider Alanon to learn how to cope with people, places and things beyond your control. Addiction in the family is not for weenies.
You have no control over her or your dad. It is however worth a shot to educate dad. Mom sounds resourceful enough to get her own pills.
You might want to consider Alanon to learn how to cope with people, places and things beyond your control. Addiction in the family is not for weenies.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am sorry about your mom, sadly nothing you do or don't do can help her until she is willing to help herself.
I'm glad you're here. Take a read around and make yourself comfortable. You are among friends who understand your sadness.
Hugs
I'm glad you're here. Take a read around and make yourself comfortable. You are among friends who understand your sadness.
Hugs
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
