Message or manipulation?
Message or manipulation?
My husband just called to let me know that there was a package left outside of our door at work. A box about one foot square with the words "possessions of" and our son's name. My husband opened it. It has a few belongings in it. The title to his car (which was impounded a few weeks ago). A pellet gun. A few articles of clothing. No note.
When his car was impounded a few weeks ago, you may recall that he made several runs at me to get it out of impound and I wouldn't do it. Most of his belongings were in the car and were impounded with it. Because he is homeless, the car was his shelter. The items in the box appear to be the last few items he owns that were not in the car.
The implied message is two-fold. Suicide......or here's the title to my car.....will you go get it now? I'm trying to keep my head but this is messing with it.
Need some of your wise words to help me keep from melting down. I think I'm going to go pray. Perhaps he has or is approaching his bottom........I need guidance.
gentle hugs
ke
When his car was impounded a few weeks ago, you may recall that he made several runs at me to get it out of impound and I wouldn't do it. Most of his belongings were in the car and were impounded with it. Because he is homeless, the car was his shelter. The items in the box appear to be the last few items he owns that were not in the car.
The implied message is two-fold. Suicide......or here's the title to my car.....will you go get it now? I'm trying to keep my head but this is messing with it.
Need some of your wise words to help me keep from melting down. I think I'm going to go pray. Perhaps he has or is approaching his bottom........I need guidance.
gentle hugs
ke
My husband said that it was written in my son's handwriting. I think the pellet gun must have had some sentimental value to him because he pawned all of his other belongings of value or lost them when the car was impounded. I have no idea of the history of the pellet gun just that he has had it for a long time.
How painful for you, KE.
Pain is perhaps his goal. To make a grand statement in order to inflict pain because he resents that you will not rescue his car.
His mind is entirely disordered, so whatever is the motivation behind the statement of the box is beyond your ability to handle or to heal.
I have been told that most young drug addicts are not suicidal if there is any chance of continuing to get high instead. As you know, they are very resourceful and do find ways to survive and use. I think probably he will find a new "home" now that the car is unavailable and he will use his connections to scam for money and will continue to use until the day arrives--with God's grace--that he is done.
If God wants you to take any action regarding your son, I think it will be very clear.
I'm so sorry for the hurt this box must cause you, and I hope you find comfort in prayer, placing the entire situation in God's hands. God bless you.
Pain is perhaps his goal. To make a grand statement in order to inflict pain because he resents that you will not rescue his car.
His mind is entirely disordered, so whatever is the motivation behind the statement of the box is beyond your ability to handle or to heal.
I have been told that most young drug addicts are not suicidal if there is any chance of continuing to get high instead. As you know, they are very resourceful and do find ways to survive and use. I think probably he will find a new "home" now that the car is unavailable and he will use his connections to scam for money and will continue to use until the day arrives--with God's grace--that he is done.
If God wants you to take any action regarding your son, I think it will be very clear.
I'm so sorry for the hurt this box must cause you, and I hope you find comfort in prayer, placing the entire situation in God's hands. God bless you.
Well.....I've done what I can. I've called the police and reported it. The sheriff said he is going to drive around the area and see if he can find anyone matching his description. He said he noticed a tent in a nearby park yesterrday and he'll go by and check that out. I advised them of his addiction and multiple suicide threats but that this seemed different. Perhaps just another manipulation tactic but who knows. I asked that if they do find him to get him admitted to a mental hospital--that he is extremely unstable.
Now......I let go again......and let God. I've done what I can......I have no control of the outcome.
Prayers are very appreciated.
gentle hugs
ke
Now......I let go again......and let God. I've done what I can......I have no control of the outcome.
Prayers are very appreciated.
gentle hugs
ke
sending you loving thoughts and prayers. One time when I was stranded in worry, an older woman in my church told me "if you are worrying, you aren't praying". That helped me to stay placed in prayer. I know how difficult that must be though. We're here beside you - keep us posted.
Sounds more like he is asking you (in a manipulative way) to hold on to these for "safe keeping."
I pray your son is ready to surrender and is willing to start working on his recovery.
To thine own self be true.
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Prayers for you Kindeyes, that God blesses you with peace today. And wellness of mind.
My brother used to threaten suicide all the time. They will do anything to get all the attention on them. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum until he gets what he wants. They use every tactic they know, they use all of your fears, and especially your greatest fears, to manipulate you into panicking so you do what they want.
I had to cut my brother off completely before I went insane. Just the fact that the box was marked "posessions of" with his name tells me absolutely, this is a manipulation and it was sent by son. Who else would send a box marked with such "official" sounding words? The police or any authority or healthcare worker would NEVER do something like that. They would track you down and tell you in person.
Breathe deep. Go for a run or a bike ride, some form of physical exercise. Take care of something you need to take care of for YOU.
My brother used to threaten suicide all the time. They will do anything to get all the attention on them. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum until he gets what he wants. They use every tactic they know, they use all of your fears, and especially your greatest fears, to manipulate you into panicking so you do what they want.
I had to cut my brother off completely before I went insane. Just the fact that the box was marked "posessions of" with his name tells me absolutely, this is a manipulation and it was sent by son. Who else would send a box marked with such "official" sounding words? The police or any authority or healthcare worker would NEVER do something like that. They would track you down and tell you in person.
Breathe deep. Go for a run or a bike ride, some form of physical exercise. Take care of something you need to take care of for YOU.
Oh, KindEyes, it is so difficult...wanting to do the right thing and not knowing the situation of your son. You are a wise woman, and I admire your courage. It's the unknown that gets at us more than anything else. Sometimes I wish I had no motherly instinct.
I pray you will find peace and your son will find sobriety. ((Hug)) from another hurting mama.
I pray you will find peace and your son will find sobriety. ((Hug)) from another hurting mama.
I'm at work now. I went through the contents of the box. There is also a watch and a toothbrush in there, pair of shorts, t-shirt, the air pistol, traffic violation when the car was impounded.....that's about it.
The box was addressed to me.
Actually, the giving away of possessions is one of the signs of a serious suicide threat.
This may very well be a manipulation......no one knows. I am trying to stay well grounded in prayer. It is all I can do for now. Time will reveal more.
Thank you for all of your prayers.......they are greatly appreciated.
The box was addressed to me.
Most suicidal people don't care enough (about their possessions) or think ahead to give there possessions away to a family member.
This may very well be a manipulation......no one knows. I am trying to stay well grounded in prayer. It is all I can do for now. Time will reveal more.
Thank you for all of your prayers.......they are greatly appreciated.
I feel your fear, KE.
As a fellow addict, I feel that it is manipulation, but I am not in your son's head.
When fear is trying its best to take over, I visualize God's loving hands, and place that fear smack dab in the middle of those hands.
There have been days I had to do that many times in a 24-hour period.
Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
As a fellow addict, I feel that it is manipulation, but I am not in your son's head.
When fear is trying its best to take over, I visualize God's loving hands, and place that fear smack dab in the middle of those hands.
There have been days I had to do that many times in a 24-hour period.
Keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm at work now. I went through the contents of the box. There is also a watch and a toothbrush in there, pair of shorts, t-shirt, the air pistol, traffic violation when the car was impounded.....that's about it.
The box was addressed to me.
Actually, the giving away of possessions is one of the signs of a serious suicide threat.
This may very well be a manipulation......no one knows. I am trying to stay well grounded in prayer. It is all I can do for now. Time will reveal more.
Thank you for all of your prayers.......they are greatly appreciated.
The box was addressed to me.
Actually, the giving away of possessions is one of the signs of a serious suicide threat.
This may very well be a manipulation......no one knows. I am trying to stay well grounded in prayer. It is all I can do for now. Time will reveal more.
Thank you for all of your prayers.......they are greatly appreciated.
KE - please let God carry your fears, worries, and anxieties. I know, at times like these, it can be difficult. You have crossed the bridge to a healthy place, you have the tools, I know you can do this. I know you can let go and let God. I continue to pray for your son, you and your family.
Please keep us updated.
Did he sign the title?
If not it is manipulation.
If he did, it might still be manipulation that you can go and get
the car put in your name and then get it out of impound.
Please keep giving him to HP.
Healing thoughts and prayers are headed your way.
Love and hugs,
If not it is manipulation.
If he did, it might still be manipulation that you can go and get
the car put in your name and then get it out of impound.
Please keep giving him to HP.
Healing thoughts and prayers are headed your way.
Love and hugs,
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