lm204

i'm starting to forget what day i'm on! that's a good thing, right?

i'm taking a week off of work to attend a therapy retreat in colorado with my best friend. i think this will help me focus on my own recovery from the abusive aspects of the relationship and get me focused more on myself.

i woke up feeling angry with him this morning. i think it just might be my subconscious digesting some of what happened, as i spent a bunch of the weekend reading about verbal abuse, narcisstic tendencies and manipulation.

i also noticed that i haven't been drinking as much as i used to when i was with him. he is a regular at one bar in town and in the early honeymoon stage of our relationship we spent a lot of time there together. i started to get used to drinking beer every day and when things were really bad (after the cheating and verbal abuse started and he'd started doing things like abandoning me in public to use) i would get upset when i drank.

wow. that doesn't even feel like me when i look back.

anyhow, just a bit of a check in. this board has been really helpful. whenever i start to really miss him or beat myself up, i come back to my own first post and get some perspective.