AH is sending threatening texts
 

He texted me this morning that he wants to know how much of the money that HE saved up is left. I didn't answer. He wrote me and said I have 15 minutes to deposit 3k or more into our joint checking or he will turn off my cell phone. He said clock is ticking. As far as I know my cell is still on. I don't think he can cancel the contract. He said he is done being my doormat. He did turn off my cell.

I'm very shaky. But in a way it is a relief because he can't text me anymore. lol!

Another thing, my brother's house was broken into last night, and it may be a coincidence but I'm afraid that my AH is on his way here. I've never known him to be physically violent. But what if he stole to fund his trip here.

Can you take yourself and the children to your brother's house?

If he shows up, call the police. Do not second-guess your own feelings of fear. EVER.

Get your own phone. Whatever ties you to him, eliminate the bond.

No he is 12 hours away. AH is 16, but my brothers is on the way from where AH is to where I am

You can get a cheap pay-as-you-go phone almost anywhere and get it activated for a total cost of less than $50.00. It isn't good for you to not have a phone. If he were to show up, you might need to contact 911. Please don't be dependent on him providing your phone service.

Is there someone who can stay with you while you're waiting for your brother to arrive? Is there a friend you can stay with until your brother gets there? I'm just a strong believer in strength in numbers, and in finding a "safe house."

My mother, sister and I were terrorized in this way when I was growing up, and there was little recourse. Police did not involve themselves or sometimes take seriously "domestic" disputes in those days. Those memories are terrifying and horrifying to me, and so I get scared all over again when I hear what you're experiencing. Sorry to sound frantic, just want you and your children to be safe and take all precautions.

I wonder if he told your cell phone company your cell phone was lost or stolen...and it's only suspended. It's a lot to have it shut off because of the cancellation fees. If you are an authorized user, you can have it turned right back on and have his number blocked, lol.

He is showing his true colors, isn't he?? His "illness" must not be in recovery as he claims.

What was stolen from your brother's house?

get a pay-as-you-go phone and never give him your number.

I have had it arranged so that all calls from my address to the police are treated as urgent as its on file that I'm at risk of domestic violence, can you do that in the US? Don't be without a phone. Get a payg one if you need to.

"Police did not involve themselves or sometimes take seriously "domestic" disputes in those days."

>>>that's not the case today.

(not at all)

Erica, when our cell phone contract was up I was determined to not be tied with my AH I went to Walmart and got their Straight Talk phone, works very good $50.00 a month and I have unlimited talk, text, and internet. That could be an option... My dad lives in the sticks on top of a mountain and his phones were not getting good service, my step-mom took my phone for a few days and it worked great there as well as soon as their contract was up they did the same. They also have a lower minute option for $35.00 a month.

I agree with cynical if possible gather what you can and leave for awhile. I hope he did not break in your brothers house if it was him he is IMO a danger to you at this time.

keep safe and keep us updated when possible.

I have my own cell. He doesn't know. I move into a new house on Monday. So I will Have a new house phone number. He won't get either number.

He now is emailing me, said to deposit the money or the Internet goes off next. Oh well. I'm on the net on my phone.

My younger brother lives with me. The older one is 12 hours away. AH is flat broke and becoming desperate. I've never known him to be physically violent. I wonder if he is goin to try shutting the utilities off on the kids next. He can no longer contact them.

FindingErica,

He sounds so crazy. I'm so glad you're not physically near this person right now. Cant wait for you to get to that new house. DO NOT EVER reveal your new location to him.

Erica...

I hate to say this. I even hate typing this. But assume the worst. He's not well; he sounds angry, and I would assume he's more than capable of horrible behavior and actions.

If you feel threatened in the slightest, call the police.

Best,
ZoSo

(((((Erica)))))

He is definitely getting very desperate! Please get anything of value and importance, ie jewelry, kids game boxes, all important papers OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW. He may be 16 hours away, however, with hitchhiking he could show up anytime this weekend. I still think it might be a good idea for you and the kids to leave for the weekend, only return on Monday with 'your moving crew.'

Desperate addicts and/or alkies do very desperate things, including violence!!!!!

I also agree with the above suggestions about closing existing accounts and opening new bank accounts in your name only at a different bank.

Please keep checking in, as we do care very much and being co dependents in various stages of recovery, we will worry!!!!!!!

Love and hugs,

This is what he texted me word for word:

How much money is left in the safe that I saved up.

I suggest you stop avoiding me Erica.

Me: Why do you suggest that?

Let me make it simple for you. Listen to me now and listen good. You have 15 minutes to deposit $3000 or more before I shut off your and (my brother)'s cell AND before you both lose service and your #'s for good! You have 15 minutes! The count down is ticking, tick, tock, tick, tock! Don't tell me what to do again understand?

Please send me a text after the deposit has been made. You have 8minuted left.

Me: the kids are asleep (was just stalling for time to see what my options were with the phone)

Don't **** me off Erica! And don't tell me what to do! I'm not your carpet for you to walk on anymore!

***** I felt very scared when I was getting these texts. I know he is flat broke but he wants me to cough up money I need to support these kids. I checked the bank acct, he did pay credit cards with the money I had given him last week so I kind of feel bad. I dont know what he means when he tells me not to tell him what to do since I did not give him any commands or advice. ****

Move all the joint money into an account solely in your name. If his texts scare you, stop reading them. Keep 911 on speed-dial. Do not mess with this person.

On a side note, he's really delusional. What makes him think a threat of canceling a cell phone that you can replace for $30 a month will force you to give up $3,000?

Erica, do you know where his living right now?

Why is he coming to see you?
Do you have a friend who can store your valuables until monday?
I would get the **** outta your house if I was you. Leave 'his' phone at the house where he can find it. Good luck to you xxx