AH is sending threatening texts

Old 07-07-2012, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Zee View Post
Why is he coming to see you?
Do you have a friend who can store your valuables until monday?
I would get the **** outta your house if I was you. Leave 'his' phone at the house where he can find it. Good luck to you xxx
He has his phone. I kept my phone and put new service on it. He is in another state. I don't know if he is coming to see me, it is just a fear I have.
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:35 PM
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Erica,

If you are afraid and don't want to leave, could you please call HIS parents to come stay with you and the kids?
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:41 PM
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IVe got my younger brother who is 27.
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:44 PM
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Originally Posted by FindingErica View Post
IVe got my younger brother who is 27.
But his parents might be a bigger deterrent for him to cause trouble. (his family vs your family).

Can you have anyone call him to find out where he is at...for peace of mind!!
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot View Post
But his parents might be a bigger deterrent for him to cause trouble. (his family vs your family).

Can you have anyone call him to find out where he is at...for peace of mind!!
I could have his sister call. But they haven't really been talking to him. He really isn't communicating with anyone mutual to us.
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Old 07-07-2012, 01:49 PM
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Oh ok. I thought he was coming over.
I can understand you being on edge though.
At least there is someone there with you. And the option of calling the police if he does turn up.
Take care x
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:39 PM
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Cynical one is right. If you're not prepared to leave the property over the weekend, please make sure all windows and doors are locked and alarms are set. Sleep with your phone next to you. Just in case. It might sound crazy, but those precautions have saved me in the past.
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by FindingErica View Post
This is what he texted me word for word:

How much money is left in the safe that I saved up.

I suggest you stop avoiding me Erica.

Me: Why do you suggest that?

Let me make it simple for you. Listen to me now and listen good. You have 15 minutes to deposit $3000 or more before I shut off your and (my brother)'s cell AND before you both lose service and your #'s for good! You have 15 minutes! The count down is ticking, tick, tock, tick, tock! Don't tell me what to do again understand?

Please send me a text after the deposit has been made. You have 8minuted left.

Me: the kids are asleep (was just stalling for time to see what my options were with the phone)

Don't **** me off Erica! And don't tell me what to do! I'm not your carpet for you to walk on anymore!

***** I felt very scared when I was getting these texts. I know he is flat broke but he wants me to cough up money I need to support these kids. I checked the bank acct, he did pay credit cards with the money I had given him last week so I kind of feel bad. I dont know what he means when he tells me not to tell him what to do since I did not give him any commands or advice. ****
Well, then...

My favorite line is:

Don't **** me off Erica! And don't tell me what to do! I'm not your carpet for you to walk on anymore!
Addicts like to play the victim, even though more often than not they're the victimizers. And these are really his efforts to assert control over you by threatening you. "Tick, tock, tick, tock"...

The behavior is egregious. And truly sick.

I would be prepared for the worst, Erica. I would assume he's capable of anything. Protect yourself, protect your children.

Please keep us posted.

ZoSo
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Old 07-07-2012, 02:55 PM
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@zoso....addict DO like to play the victim dont they...geesh...i remember how desperate mine was...i ignored him...for 3 days str8 he kept sending me nasty emails...including one that a police officer was on his was over for...???, (dunno why)...<<never did show up...lol....


@Cynical one i believe is rite on this.....sit tight...and dont listen or buy into it...but i would MONDAY morning do the switch arue on the BANKING stuff and hide all important papers with a family member or friend until you decide where to put them.....

my prayers are with you
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:09 PM
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I dont think there's money in the joint account, or else yesterday, Friday... he would have gotten some money. His account is probably empty and all money left are in her account.

Erica, while you havent witness a violent side of his yet, right now he is desperate and dangerous because he thinks you are in HIS WAY to HIS money. So to get to his money, you have to go down.

be safe.
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Old 07-07-2012, 03:45 PM
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Just a thought....
but could you call the cell phone provider and find out via GPS cell tower where he is?

Or call the police and see if they can?
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Old 07-07-2012, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
He more than likely IS heading your way, and he's one pi$$ed of whack job.

Be afraid, be very afraid. At least send the kids packing to a friends house. If the money is in a joint account, whoever gets to it first thing Monday morning will own it and the other one will be SOL...which may be the difference between you finding refuge in a new home or not. Be smart.

And, don't be calling his family, when it gets down to the nitty gritty...blood is always thicker than water.
All the money is in my account that I opened in a separate bank.
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Old 07-07-2012, 06:43 PM
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Good play.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:04 PM
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I'm real sorry to hear what you're going through today. I just came on and read through all this and all these suggstions about protecting yourself and your kids are right on, including protecting your assets and it sounds like you've already started.

I would also save any text you receive from him - just in case - to show how unstable he sounds.

Please be safe and keep us posted.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by HopefulGF65 View Post
I'm real sorry to hear what you're going through today. I just came on and read through all this and all these suggstions about protecting yourself and your kids are right on, including protecting your assets and it sounds like you've already started.

I would also save any text you receive from him - just in case - to show how unstable he sounds.

Please be safe and keep us posted.
I have all his mails and texts saved on the computer and will give copies to my lawyer. I have stuff has written admitting to the drug use too. He really did me a favor though because now the text tyranny is over.
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Old 07-07-2012, 07:47 PM
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Good for you for getting all your ducks in a row.

Wishing you a peaceful night!
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Old 07-16-2012, 07:53 AM
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Thought I would update without starting a new thread.

We moved into our new place Monday. I feel very relaxed and my anxiety is very low which is a good feeling after the drama of the past few months. The kids love the house and seem calmer too. AH can only get ahold of me by email, and since I can preview the first few lines, I only read and answer the ones pertaining to mutual business like the sale of our home or the kids. I told him he could no longer use familiar pet names to refer to me, which was a big deal as his calling me that way made me feel vulnerable and like he was treading on a fragile boundary. Knowing he does not know where I am nor can he text or call is very liberating. A friend remarked that with everything I have been doing this week on top of work, which is exhausting, I look more relaxed than she has seen me in awhile. I feel stronger and more competent regarding my life than I have felt in a long time. AH wants his family back he told his mother, and that scares me because I feel like that means he will pressure me until I break or something, actually I don't know why it scares me. I have to remind myself daily that I am a free person and I am free to not be with him ever again if I choose. It's hard not o return to that placating, trapped mindset. I still can't believe what I have accomplished in so little time since my first post here, where I was so anxious, defeated and felt trapped. The common sense, no nonsense, sometimes in my face but also compassionate advice was the final catalyst I needed. I am by no means all fixed, just wanted ou all to know where I am a t today.
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Old 07-16-2012, 07:56 AM
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So, so happy to hear your update! Thank you for letting us know. It's amazing how far you can come, and so fast, with the right "medicine" (even when it's hard to swallow).

Blessings to you and your children, and peace in your heart and your home (which it sounds as though you have!)
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Old 07-16-2012, 08:05 AM
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You sound so great! You have really put your kids first and I just want to hug you! (((hug)))



Oh I bet he is kicking himself now for shutting off your phone. lol
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Old 07-16-2012, 08:20 AM
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Originally Posted by LoveMeNot View Post
You sound so great! You have really put your kids first and I just want to hug you! (((hug)))



Oh I bet he is kicking himself now for shutting off your phone. lol
Yes, the next day he realized his control issues had left him holding the bag 100% on the bill and the costs he would incur from canceling my end of the contract. LOL! I'm glad I didn't lose my head, through all this people keep reminding me that I am holding all the cards and all his stuff is just blustering. The next day he was all benevolent, saying he had unsuspended my number, but I told him too late I had tossed that sim card and he had done me a favor as I no longer had to endure his texting. Then he said I had to pay the next bill since I had used the phone part of the time. :rotfxko
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