This Grammy is tired.....
 

Tired of my addict daughter's manipulating, tired of worrying about her, tired of wracking my brain trying to determine where I went wrong as a mother.
At least I don't have to worry about my 10 month old grandson - as he is now with me. Last week she was committed for evaluation for substance abuse. Her father and I signed the committal papers. The Dr recommended out-patient treatment due to the fact that she has never been in treatment/rehab before and that her child is still an infant. I tried to tell them out-patient will never work, but hey, they are the professionals, right? The only good thing to come from this is that Dept of human services placed the baby with me until she finishes treatment and can pass clean drug tests. She is addicted to opiates (hydrocodone). They kept her in the hospital for 6 days for evaluation and I would almost bet she was using yesterday as soon as she got out. She has other issues to deal with as well. Her fiancé (father of her baby) died of a drug overdose May 9th of this year. It was absolutely horrible, as she found him dead in their bed. She moved in with my husband and I for a few weeks and then insisted on moving back to her home. I knew it was too soon and she was clean while she stayed here. I set her up with grief counseling but she instead chose to use drugs. I never dreamed at age 64 I would be the primary caretaker of my baby grandson - but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have been reading posts on this site for a few days and now realize that I am not alone. Thank God for this forum.

I'm glad you found SR. And thank God for grandmas like you so that your grandson can have a safe place to live! It sounds like you are no stranger to addiction. Just know that you didn't cause it, can't cure it, and don't have any control over it. Let the addiction run its course with your daughter, and hopefully she will pull out of it. Don't forget to take care of you!!

Wow. A 10-month-old is a bundle of joy, and a handful of work. No wonder you're tired. Do you have any help with him besides your husband? Family or friends around who are healthy and helpful?

Do you attend any Naranon/Alanon meetings? The in-person support for you can be a lifesaver.

Bless you. Your grandson and your daughter are lucky to have you. Praying you get some rest.

I googled Naranon - but none in our area. Guess I will try Al-Anon. My hubby is a huge help and my other daughter graciously accepted him into her daycare during the week while I'm at work. Yes, he's a handful. But I don't cry myself to sleep worrying if he's safe now. Thank you for your kind words !

Grammy,

I'm sorry for your pain. I know how you feel, I almost chose "tired" as part of my user name!
Your grandson is so lucky to have you, try to concentrate on his needs and yours.
And stop trying to figure out where you went wrong as a mother, I have spent hours doing the same thing, all it does is make us sad and tire us out some more! You certainly didn't cause your daughter's addiction, and I didn't cause my son's.
I find myself repeating that "I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it" qoute a lot!
My best wishes to you, your daughter, and your whole family!:ghug3

Welcome! I'm glad you're here. :welcome

Grammy - please dont think you are a failure as a mother.

I came from a loving family but ended up as a cocaine addict (clean for 10 months now) - there was nothing my parents could have done as it was my choice.

You are an amazing person for taking care of your grandson - not many people would do that

:ghug3

Thank goodness your other daughter has a daycare!!!
Take good care of yourself Grammy. (((hugs)))

Thank God, your grandson has you. Welcome to SR, there is so much good info and many loving, caring people here to help support you.

You did nothing wrong as a mother. Addiction does not discriminate.

Thanks