7mnthsprego

Hi all this is my first time here....I recently found out that my husband is addicted to heroin...I am 7 months pregnant with our 3rd child and he has been abusive before but we stuck together and are trying to make things work. But now this....and I grew up with my father having the same issue so I hate it with a passion. So when I found his needles today I just automatically threw them out but now I'm afraid that when he figures out they are gone he will get pissed and become violent with me. Did I do the right thing? What should I do know? Before when he has gotten violent he would smash my phone so I couldn't call for help. I'm so afriad now. I have a 9yo and 3yo I'm afraid for them also. I dont know what to do any more. Ian so stressed as it is with work and financial issues and sometimes I think about hurting myself because I'm so stressed. I am on an antidepressant but I dont think it's working as much any more. I'm going insane.

tjp613

throwing out his needles will not stop his drug use. You might as well dig them out of the trash and put them back where you found them to avoid the confrontation and putting you and your young children in danger.

If your husband is not home, or the next time you are alone, please call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit their website at National Domestic Violence Hotline. The compassionate counselors there can assist you in this critical time of need. You and your children need to be safe and that is not possible with a violent IV drug user, illegal drugs and paraphernalia in the house.

incitingsilence

Yes if you can get them back put them where you found them.

Tossing anything, drugs, needles, pipes...whatever is not what anyone should do, ever. It may provoke a reaction that one wasn't ever expecting. You never ever mess with anyone's drugs, period.

If you need to toss something out, I do have an idea, HIM, and then send all his goodies with him.

Please makes sure you understand that you are worth every ounce of peace and lack of chaos you can find, and so are your children. Can you leave? If you can it might be time, most likely it is way past time. If you can't check out the link that was provided, ask for help, devise a plan that gets you and the kids out as safe as possible.

Be safe!

oooopps

It's not that your anti-depressant is not working but No amount of anti-depressant will keep up with the chaos and pain you are experiencing.

You are 7 months pregnant and 2 months away from giving birth. This should be a warm, happy, and safe time for you as it should always be. Do you have families or friends that can help remove you from your current environment?

He would smash your phone so you cannot get help?? Why are you still with this person? Trust me, you and your two little ones deserve to be loved and protected. Find a way to remove your husband ASAP. He needs to get clean but right now you need to look out for you.

saraylah

I feel for you, because first and foremost you are pregnant and there are many risks involved dealing with a person who is hiding an addiction and you have young children and your heart is involved. So much emotional stress. And the baby is feeling all your stress, this is not healthy for him either. You know the main thing right now is you and those children. If there is a place that maybe you can go and get away from this man who you said was in the past physically abusive to you I say GET OUT. I hope you can go somewhere, Honestly I can say that I had to make a decision at one time in my life not so long ago to leave my abusive boyfriend who was my drugging partner. Although it was hard (believe it or not ) I found it difficult to make the decision between him or my newborn son. Finally after many bruises and fights and drug binges I made the difficult call to my mother to pleeeease come and get me. I missed him terribly but it soon went away. And he wound up in jail due to his drug problem, he got out 9 months later and was clean and living with me sober and we were happy. He tried to find a job but couldn't and eventually the stress got to him (which was his excuse for getting high)he says and he went to get high and stayed getting high. He chose to stay sober and he chose to relapse. My son didn't ask to be here, he had no choice. But I had a choice to be his mother and that's just what I did. I chose to keep my son away from a man who was abusive to me, and who chose to do drugs which then changed his whole demeanor into a paranoid angry person. Your husband is a grown man and he is choosing that drug. All drugs do are bring misery to the person who is using as well as to the user's family. You should choose a safe environment for you and your children and your unborn child. Think of the what if's if something bad happened. If something happened to you, if something happened to your children, if something happened to your unborn child. I know that addicts smoke alot...you can't have your children around smoke, and what if he doses off and starts the house on fire...there are too many things that could happen. Alll because this grown man chose to drugs rather than seek help. I wish you the best and I will pray for you to have the stregnth to stand up to this man. Once you make a stand,stand firm: It's either shape up or ship out. Good luck sweetie. I hope everything works out for you and your children.

Windmills

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach reading this. Huge trigger to me!
Put the needles back if you can. Then phone a DV hotline and ask for help. You don't have to live this way, there is a better, more peaceful life out there, I promise. Antidepressants won't help, you're depressed because of the hell you're living.
I empathise with you so, so much. I've been where you are. I can't write much now but will be back in a few hours when my toddler is in bed!

Ann

Please call a woman's crisis center near you and try to get some help. You are close to having your baby and you need to stay safe. Also, your children need you to protect them.

Violence escalates and if he has been violent in the past, you can be sure he will be even more violent in the future.

Please, please get help before it is too late.

Hugs

Titsgirl

I am hoping you are safe..

elizabeth1967

Im hoping your safe too.

zoso77

Hi, and welcome to the board.

I actually read this post a few days ago but I'm only responding now. I'd like to share a somewhat similar experience to yours.

When I learned about my AXGF's drug issues with Percocet, it was pretty ugly. She had taken about 100 in two days, so I dragged her to the hospital and she checked in to detox off them. The day she got out, she still had about 10 pills amongst her personal belongs. So, I took those pills, marched into the mens room, and flushed them down the toilet. I was livid with her.

It wasn't until months later that I started to understand what I was dealing with. She was an addict and a Borderline Personality, which is a recipe for disaster any way you look at it. But, I digress. Getting rid of the pills felt good for about 10 seconds. But when you're dealing with someone who's an opiate addict, you're going to be in for a hell of a ride. As you probably know, opiates are escape drugs, and coming off of those is very, very difficult. Your situation is about 4 times harder than mine because you're married, you've got a 9 year old, a 3 year old, and another baby on the way.

I'm not in a place to tell you what you should do. Please know, however, anyone in your shoes would feel the same sense of desperation that you likely do. The single most important thing you need to worry about is protecting your children by any means necessary. My advice to you is to look for women on the board who have been in a similar situation to yours, and listen to what they have to say very, very carefully. I would also pay attention to the stories of the addicts that are in recovery on this board, for they've lived it, fought it, and have done a ton of work to get honest with themselves. Ordinarily, I would also suggest finding a local Nar Anon meeting, but where you're 7 months pregnant, I don't know if you're really up for that. That's your call to make.

If your husband has been abusive to you in the past, the only person that can stop that is you. No more games, no more BS. Any form of abuse is unacceptable. Period. Remember, the most important thing is protecting your children.

Do what you need to do. Be safe, and I'll be thinking of you, your children, and your AH during my prayers tonight.

ZoSo

Vale

I agree with zoso77.Unacceptable.Something we are rightly
intolerant of.....quadruple that when children are involved.911 takes
Only 3 key presses.Those responding are impervious to physical
intimidation and any attempt to ratchet up/escalate will be neutralized
faster than you can spell it.
Physical abuse of a late term pregnant lady is something this society
takes a very ugly view of.Throw in heavy opiate abuse and those responding
will have a very difficult (albeit doable) time keeping it "professional".