confused, and unsure ... help?

Old 06-27-2012, 11:41 AM
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Yes, Anvilhead, yes. I shouldn't need a solid reason to leave. The behavior is enough.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by livesimple View Post
Its just like my brain needs to make sense of it. Like ... when? When does he get them? Where, and from who? How often? It sucks.
You can make yourself crazy with all the questions. I became so desensitized to the whole thing and thought I was being a good girlfriend by telling him I won't freak out as long as you're honest with me. So I didn't have to play detective as much until he started stealing from me and lying, ever so creatively, to me.

Unfortunately, the circle we are in, the pain meds are prevalent so it was so accessible. People trade, check in with each other who's got what script filled, borrow from each other, maybe trade a few pills for a gift card. It was insane. I'm not targeting certain groups by any means, as addiction is not prejudice, but when you're around a large group on a day to day basis, you're bound to find people in similar situations and you form a sort of network so when one's out, the other helps.

But...do you really want to expend all your energy finding out these answers? And then go through the pain once you learn about these answers? I thought I did but I was so wrong!
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:52 AM
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How long does it take before someone has withdrawals? How long until their body goes into withdrawal mode? How much do they have to do in order to get withdrawals? Do you know?
What's next? What do I do now? He's been sick the last 2 days, throwing up, and saying he can't handle the heat outside, (95 degrees working) he came home early the other day and went to bed, (he stays up late usually) because he was sick. Maybe that's what the text from some guy that said, "i'll go B6" meant?
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:53 AM
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Thank you all for talking to me. I don't have anyone to talk to either.
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Old 06-27-2012, 11:56 AM
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Everyone's system reacts differently so it's hard to say (withdrawals) but I watched my ex go through 2 detoxes (one at his Mom's and one at our place) and one "smaller" one only because he ran out of his script once before he had his next doctor's appt. And among many other natural remedies, B6 or a multi B vitamin was one of the things he took to help him through his withdrawals. Throwing up, shaking, runny nose or stuffy nose (mimics allergies), lack of appetite, etc. He found it hard to sleep too.
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by livesimple View Post
Thank you all for talking to me. I don't have anyone to talk to either.
Take it from me and my list of ailments in the past year, you need *someone* to talk to. Here is great, but a warm, face to face person you trust would do ou a world of good. I didn't say anything for the longest time to anyone. I was ashamed and I didn't want my friends to dislike him because, when he got better, things would just go back to normal. Wrong.

When I finally decided to open up, which is only recently by the way, I learned that others in my life had someone in their lives who went through something similar. I wished I had reached out to even one of them earlier, it would have been so helpful if nothing else but for the exchange of support and much needed hugs
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:16 PM
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With opiate wd, one dead ringer, pupils really big, it is one of the first symptoms of wd, even before the other nasty stuff starts and they stay that way a few days for most people. He will be extremely sensitive to the light.
But, there is another thing, if he is working outside in the heat the same symptoms as wd would be heat stroke, cramping, throwing up, general malaise, you won't be immune to heat stroke just case you are high, my husband had heat stroke many a time in active heroin addiction ...

Also I would remove the addiction as was suggested, really he is mean and the drug use isn't a good enough excuse for that at all, and should be never be an excuse. You do not have to take the abuse.
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:27 PM
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Incitingsilence, im not following you on the heat stroke? What do you mean? He came home just a bit ago, and I asked him where he went last night. Said he went to talk with the neighbor for about 15 minutes. I called him a dope dealer, and he said he probably sells something, I said yeah a whole lot of something. He acted stupid, like he didn't know. And he does know. And he knows I know, or else I wouldn't say something like that. I also asked him how he was feeling today and he said fine. That B6 must be helping
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:34 PM
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Didn’t you write that he was telling you he was sick due to the heat?
Heat stroke could have the same symptoms as wd, so it can be an easy buy me some time excuse, or the truth?

How crazy we can become in the questions of what does it all mean, where is the truth, the lies…
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by livesimple View Post
I wish I knew how to believe my gut. Gah! I feel crazy. I'm doing my best to continue with My son and I's life without being affected. But it's affecting me mentally.
DENIAL, if you believe then your in the position of making a choice of what too do
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Old 06-27-2012, 02:15 PM
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Crazybabie, I don't think Im in denial, im just the sort of person that needs facts/proof to believe something, although I see signs and my gut is telling me. It sucks.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:23 AM
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Okay so, we had a pretty normal weekend. He seemed to not be feeling sick anymore. We hung out with the kids, and went to a friends house for a gathering, and bday party. He was a little short tempered yesterday, inpatient, but nothing I could handle. I would say something, like .."Hey, calm down, it's cool, not that serious." and he would be a little short, but wouldn't blow a gasket. Anyhow, so other than the impatient, slightly short fused temper, he seemed semi-normal. This morning, I am getting ready for work, he gets up really quickly out of bed ... runs to bathroom, and starts throwing up, repeatedly, over and over. What gives? I'm so confused. All I could think, (I mean I didn't even have the urge to help him) but all I could think, was ... Is he on something? Who just out of the blew, while they're sleeping feels the urge to throw up like that, so much too?
Idk, I don't know what to think anymore. I don't even know if I would realize if he were on something or not. TIA.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:51 AM
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It gets interesting, depending on what they are using, short, long acting, how much and when the last time was. My husband got to the point where each morning he woke in wd already. His routine was get up, either by alarm clock or urge to throw up … then throw up, take a handful of pills try not to throw them up so he could get out of house to corner, to cop some heroin then go on with his work day come home no sickness spring in step, repeat again next day.

Paints an interesting picture now doesn’t it?
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Old 07-02-2012, 11:27 AM
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WOW, IT SURE DOES! I really need to learn as much as possible. Educate myself on the signs, symptoms, everything, because what I have learned so far ... is that I don't really know anything when it comes to drug abuse. I am a very educated person. Highly intelligent, and I am not, when it comes to this. I really am not. I asked him on my lunch break. "Are you still sick?" he said he felt better. I also told him that the way he was feeling, and has been is not normal, so therefore we need to find out what exactly is wrong, because God forbid, it was something serious, and we're just brushing it aside. He said "It was weird. I was laying there half awake, and then I just started sweating and getting nausea, finally I just got up and went to the bathroom." He said he ate a bunch of candy before he went to bed, and he thinks it upset his stomach. I again stressed how that is not normal to be so sick. He said he's always been sick in the mornings, that's why he doesn't eat breakfast. I don't think I've ever noticed him being so sick so frequently in the mornings in the past, but again I said that's not normal. Idk, what do I know. I'm clueless. All I know is that I have caught him taking pills a couple time sin the past, just a few caught, maybe 3? However, I do not have a problem with pain pills, and I do not take them a few times, not even 3.
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Old 07-02-2012, 12:22 PM
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Even with the best of an education, you still know nothing because it isn’t yours, this is his. And you won’t know the truth till he tells you.

If he is playing a game with you in time the house of cards will fall. If he is really sick in time he would get frustrated and tired of being so and go to the doctors. And the later, well if he has been sick and doesn’t seem concerned enough to see a doctor, then is he really sick.

OMG we could drive ourselves insane trying to pick the truth from the lies…
But then we also could look at what is right in front of us and if we find it acceptable. I also advise everyone to remove the addiction/drug use and then see what it is there…
And you are going to have to ask yourself do you want to live with this constant never knowing what is real, a lie, some story to keep you placated…It is acceptable to have to talk him down, can’t he control himself and his moods and over reactions…It is normal for you to have to make the peace? Do you want to live that way?

For any addict after using for sometime wd is right there waiting as soon as the last dose wears off their body is sure to let them know by revolting.


Signs are easy…
Excuses, excuses, the blame game, and my favorite comparing out …I am not as bad as so and so, which is a huge indication of just how bad they really are. It is some twisted way they actually show the truth, and it is heavily based in denial on their part … no money, withdrawn and secretive, pin points pupils using, blown wide open in wd…some experience ocd like cleaning they need **** neat and orderly it is a psychiatric thing, like window dressing … if things around are perfect then how can anything be wrong. Families do this as well, always worrying about appearances as if it would detract from the huge elephant in the room.


Wd starts the same, restless, yucky, feeling, pupils huge, sensitivity to light, sneezing fits ( opiate wd has a histamine reaction component to it ), then on to the stomach cramping, nauseous, throwing up, diarrhea, leg cramping, restless legs, all limbs get funky, they ache, they feel as if something is crawling under the skin which my husband calls spiders in the blood…agitation, moodiness, can’t sleep, no drive, hallucinations aren’t out of the question, and boy they are interesting when no one ever told you of that possibility….
The mental a whole different set of insanity for them, to varying degrees based on time in, drug of choice…worse as times goes by, by the amount of times one kicked, actually the physical is the same, varying degrees that will go worse over time. This never gets better it gets continually worse until they stop using. Addiction is a progressive disease.


Best advice seek out help for yourself, it will be the only way to have peace in your life. Work on you, learn about addiction it won’t hurt, but learn about codependency, and get yourself a support system, You will need it if he is an addict.
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Old 07-02-2012, 12:35 PM
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I think this question, or a form of, was posed to me early on when I came here. It went something like - how much are you willing to take? Meaning, do you have any idea of what you absolutely will not tolerate? Because if that area is cloudy, you will just keep accepting more and more until before you know it, you are in it with him completely and it is sooo much harder to 'get out' when you've been beaten down so much there's nothing left of YOU.

You are right in questioning his being sick all the time. If you're not ready to make any changes, I'd at least start paying attention to valuables, medication, etc. that you might have lying around. Actually, they don't have to be lying around, they could be very well hidden. If not locked up, they will be found.

If firm answers are what you need, be prepared. To give you an idea of my ex - he would have trouble starting his day - every day - barely speaking, not in a great mood, incapable of doing anything (say, on the weekend) for the first hour at least. He would then take his pills and ever so slowly, he'd get in a better mood. But as soon as the effects started wearing off, he'd crash, be irritable, etc.. He had little appetite, stayed up late, woke up early. Towards the end, he was miserable most of the time, even the pills weren't working (the way *he* wanted them to) but then again, he was extremely irritable because his monthly script that he counted on was stopped (because of the trouble he got himself into) so when an addict doesn't know when or where they'll get their next 'fix', that's all that's on their mind. I've literally seen him go from being very aggravated to calm in a matter of minutes as soon as he got a 'call' from a 'friend' that they had some for him.
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Old 07-02-2012, 12:39 PM
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We know.We just don't WANT to know.Because we don't want to face
the truth.To this day I rationalize that the observable facts about the
person I was helping might have been 'misinterpreted' by me and
as a result,I abandoned a 'friend' in their time of greatest need.
Except it's not true.What I observed was real.It was my fantasy
(what I so dearly WANTED to believe) ......that was false.
Things that are true make sense.Things that are not take all sorts
of mental gymnastics (rationalizations) to 'fit'.
Round pegs CAN fit in square holes......they just require a sledgehammer and
a lot of grunting.But round pegs fit SO much better.
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