No contact...XABFcalled

Old 06-24-2012, 07:00 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: the shire
Posts: 379
thanks suki, you made me smile....i actually saw that on facebook yesterday...and i am familiar with Ruth's story (from the Bible).

that is so true....thanks for posting
mrsbrownie is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 07:06 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
oooopps's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Parasites feed off of their hosts. When the host stops giving blood, the parasite moves on to another host. He's moved on and you are nothing but Plan B for when this hosts stops giving blood.

He's shown you exactly who he is...a user of people. If you want him back, you will need to shed some life blood. But, he and the new girl have so much more in common you may have to up the ante. How much more are you willing to compromise yourself to get this real "winner" back?
cynical_one, you are so wise. I love it!
oooopps is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 07:14 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
oooopps's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
Mrs. Brownies,

One of my best friend once told me "If somebody treated me like crap, I'd stump on them with my boots like they're dirt and walk away"

That quote had such a profound effect on me that years later I still remember.

In fact, my ex heroin addict bf once said the same thing as I cried to him about how bad he was treating me. He said "If someone treats you that badly, you should have been a big girl and walk away... it's not my fault." Well you know what SOB? I walked away and I'm not looking back.

If someone treats you like crap. You walk away. Any self loving and self respecting woman will do it. You may not feel that way right now, but you can aspire to be. Get out of your pity and sadness... You dropped a trash can full of nasty stuff. Why pick it back up??? Let the other girl carry that trash can and thank her for taking him off your hands. Seriously.
oooopps is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 08:19 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Getting there!!
 
LoveMeNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by mrsbrownie View Post
thanks lovemenot for your insight.

i know its bad for me to think this, but i just feel bad and sorry for myself that here i am hurting, while they seemed like having a good time.
I know, I understand. But would you want to be getting drunk and/or high to have "fun." Feel the pain and feel the process. Whether you know it or not..this is a great learning and growing lesson...take advantage of it.

P.S. Sorry for all the typos in my posts...I should have named myself TypeswithToes.
LoveMeNow is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 08:24 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: the shire
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot View Post
I know, I understand. But would you want to be getting drunk and/or high to have "fun."
thanks lovemenot, but what if they are not drinking and getting high anymore, how is it that she can lead him to sobriety while i cant? given that we only shared healthy things/activities.

thanks
mrsbrownie is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 08:42 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 462
mrs brownie

i have had bf that i or them broke up with and felt the same way you do now. i desperately wanted them to see how much happier life could be with me. i would torture myself with being close (like you talking to his mum) but not break my boundaries for no contact. i wanted them to show me how much i was worth. but the reality is, only you can do that. you have far more value in yourself and you so do not need this type of guy who i must say, "sounds like a real catch....NOT" to want you back. thank your lucky stars that you are out and start doing some nice things for yourself and get your own self worth from within. there is an abundance of it inside of you waiting for you to use it.

You are going to be just fine when you see how lucky you are right now.
hugs to you.
Jody675 is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 08:43 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
lesliej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
you are in that state of thinking which is totally crazy making.

CRAZY MAKING

circular questioning...what ifs what ifs what ifs.

cut your losses and never look back!!

my ex told me once about a somewhat famous short story writer who he dated briefly and that she had written a story based on him. so of course I looked it up. in it she talked about how this jekyll and hyde character sneered at the fact that his ex girlfriends were so desperate that they let him make furniture out of their skin...

a really nasty gross metaphor yes?

when I finally had him move out of my house I said something about his making furniture...and he sneered back at me that "it was my fault...that I let him do it!"

PLEASE walk away from this guy, his behavior sounds 10X worse than my ex, seriously. you need help with your perspective right now...there is not a single person here who is even HINTING at saying "oh yes, great possibility there!" not a single person here can even imagine in any way why you should even have the slightest fantasy of going back to him!!!

but we also understand why you do. its called codependency.
and you need to continue seeking recovery from it in order to find your path to LIFE
thank you for being here. we all need each other to help each other with our recovery.
you remind me to not forget what I just told you
lesliej is offline  
Old 06-24-2012, 08:59 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Getting there!!
 
LoveMeNow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by mrsbrownie View Post
thanks lovemenot, but what if they are not drinking and getting high anymore, how is it that she can lead him to sobriety while i cant? given that we only shared healthy things/activities.

thanks


She can't change him, only he can decide to change himself and then it's a lot of hard work. You know the truth.....

He knows you are talking to his mother and he feeding all kinds of BS to make it sting. You may want to reconsider talking her for now anyway.
LoveMeNow is offline  
Old 06-25-2012, 09:18 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 22
i've been NC for a week now and i have found that it really makes me feel better to accept that i can't control or understand what my ex is up to. he could be doing blow, he could be sleeeping, he could be paddling a canoe in a river, he could be falling in love and getting himself into treatment.

bottom line: it doesn't mean anything to me or about me.

and...he literally just emailed me as i type this. they don't get the hint, do they?
lm204 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:26 AM.