In Between...Language of Letting Go
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
In Between...Language of Letting Go
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
In Between
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we're in between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation
In Between
Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.
One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.
This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.
Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.
Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.
We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. it's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we're in between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I remember a time in my recovery when my son was gone and I found myself with a void that caught me off guard.
I had exhausted myself trying to save him and was actually relieved to have finally let go of the fear that had kept me hanging on.
But I didn't know what to do next. I had lost myself in my codependency and no longer knew who I was or what MY dreams were. I had this big gap of time to take care of, I had this big void of adrenaline and I had lived on adrenaline for years...and I had a spiritual void that needed tending.
What helped me find my balance most was to go to meetings, work my steps with my sponsor and spend my "waiting time" healing and preparing for new beginnings. It WAS a healing time and a time I spend in prayer, asking to be led because I had no idea where I was going.
Slowly, my healing began, my time became filled with my new hobby (photography) and my spiritual battery had been recharged. Once again my life was "complete" only this time is was complete with healthy choices, balance and peace...and with that came joy...something I had not felt in a very long time.
So please know that "in between" is a good place, it is where we live after we cross the bridge from where we were and until the door is unlocked to where we are going. It's a place of light and air and healing. Enjoy the "in between".
Hugs
I had exhausted myself trying to save him and was actually relieved to have finally let go of the fear that had kept me hanging on.
But I didn't know what to do next. I had lost myself in my codependency and no longer knew who I was or what MY dreams were. I had this big gap of time to take care of, I had this big void of adrenaline and I had lived on adrenaline for years...and I had a spiritual void that needed tending.
What helped me find my balance most was to go to meetings, work my steps with my sponsor and spend my "waiting time" healing and preparing for new beginnings. It WAS a healing time and a time I spend in prayer, asking to be led because I had no idea where I was going.
Slowly, my healing began, my time became filled with my new hobby (photography) and my spiritual battery had been recharged. Once again my life was "complete" only this time is was complete with healthy choices, balance and peace...and with that came joy...something I had not felt in a very long time.
So please know that "in between" is a good place, it is where we live after we cross the bridge from where we were and until the door is unlocked to where we are going. It's a place of light and air and healing. Enjoy the "in between".
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Ann, this is the perfect post for me. I am definitely in between. I even discussed this with God yesterday, saying how Impatient I am being to get to the next stage.
What a beautiful concept, being in between. I was deeply touched reading this today and I believe it is the answer to my prayers about where I am emotionally and mentally with my missing son.
Love and thanks,
Teresa
What a beautiful concept, being in between. I was deeply touched reading this today and I believe it is the answer to my prayers about where I am emotionally and mentally with my missing son.
Love and thanks,
Teresa
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Teresa, I am the mom of a missing son also (8 years) and it took me a while at "in between" before I found enough balance to move on. It happens though. I believe they serve cheesecake in the "in between hallway". 
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
as one in this between place I really appreciate reading this tonight. I knew about the inbetween time - I just never expected it to last so very long......nor all the new things that were going to drop in there as well. "Surely, this can't be all God has in mind for me" is something I find myself frequently thinking these days.
I wonder if I just haven't surrendered enough....I keep thinking/feeling that I have though. I pray and seek conscious contact.
I so appreciate the ESH that is shared here....it helps me to stay the course.
I wonder if I just haven't surrendered enough....I keep thinking/feeling that I have though. I pray and seek conscious contact.
I so appreciate the ESH that is shared here....it helps me to stay the course.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Ann, I have been having a feeling that I couldn't quite figure out what is was and you just showed me. I never even thought about an in between. I am grateful you posted this for the feeling has been holding me back somewhat. Thanks, for sending me in the right direction.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I love that you all are sharing. I think God doesn't give us "quick fixes' in life, because we need to have time to process what has happened and take the lesson from it...thus turning a bad experience into a blessing because the lesson will help us not do it again.
Pain is our body/mind/spirit's way of telling us there is something wrong. When we feel pain, we are stopped in our path while we figure it out and learn to heal. Walking on a broken leg is no different than jumping forward with a broken heart. First we need to heal and learn...and we do that in the wonderful place called "In Between".
May each one of us embrace that place called "In Between" today, as a retreat, a spa, a place of peace where we can just let go of yesterday's pain and prepare for the joy of tomorrow.
Hugs and Hugs
Pain is our body/mind/spirit's way of telling us there is something wrong. When we feel pain, we are stopped in our path while we figure it out and learn to heal. Walking on a broken leg is no different than jumping forward with a broken heart. First we need to heal and learn...and we do that in the wonderful place called "In Between".
May each one of us embrace that place called "In Between" today, as a retreat, a spa, a place of peace where we can just let go of yesterday's pain and prepare for the joy of tomorrow.
Hugs and Hugs
Last edited by Ann; 06-24-2012 at 11:02 AM.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
wow....that visual of hopping forward on a broken leg being no different than jumping forward with a broken heart really hit home. I think that I've been expecting too much of myself and wanted my healing to be faster than it is. No wonder we NEED the mean time. Sometimes you just have to wait to heal. That doesn't mean languishing....just recognizing healthy ways to heal.
I can't believe how much that visual is helping me!!!!
I can't believe how much that visual is helping me!!!!
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