lightseeker

now have proof positive that smoking pot (and being 18 on top of that) messes with your brain. Just saw that my son used my IPAD to make a video of himself smoking pot. Talk about a smoking gun. What in the world was he thinking....or not. I'd say it was a cry for help except we are long past that.

Glad I have a meeting tomorrow morning and then a counseling session later in the day.

My son is out of the country on a mission trip with his dad for the next week so I have some time to get my mind around even firmer boundaries. I sure do HATE addiction.

Vale

((((((((((((((I sure do HATE addiction.)))))))))))))))

......we ALL do.....with a vengeance!

Ann

Oh me too, Lightseeker, that must have been very disturbing to you.

I once heard my son making a drug deal...I had know he was an addict for a long time, but actually hearing it really shook me up.

I love my addicted son, but sure hate the disease!!!

LoveMeNow

I used to believe smoking "weed" was not really a big deal. I did not condone it for kids but was OK with it for adults, what I thought were "responsible" adults. Now, I feel very differently. Drugs, any kind of drug, just are evil, and I don't want any of it around me again. The need for anyone to escape reality in any way, shape or form is a sign of bigger issues and not someone I really want in my inner circle.

When I discovered my son was smoking pot, I knew it was going to be a problem. I knew it was often a gateway drug and he wouldn't stop there. I had no idea about k2 (cloud nine) and then was sickened to be told how dangerous it was by and hear the horror stories by a well respected psychiatrist in our area. I went to my neighborhood store and told the owner if he continued to sell it, I would boycott his store and send print out fliers for the whole neighborhood. I told him it would soon be his problem too when some messed up kick stuck a gun in his face, his wife or son's face - to get the crap. He agreed and said he would no longer sell it. I like the owner and I hope he telling the truth.

I know my daughter tried smoking pot a couple times, curiosity and peer pressure. I wasn't happy but wasn't shocked either. She said she didn't like it but wanted to "try" it. But I flipped out when she tried K2. She thought she has needed to go the emergency room,, her heart was racing, etc. I told her I was glad that her experience was scary and hopefully she now knows why I was very serious about how dangerous it was.

So my question is "do you think it's somewhat "normal" for kids to try pot?

lightseeker

it was shocking to see him getting high. Definitely a difference between knowing and seeing it. It hit me on a whole different visceral layer. It just made me so sad. I had hoped that things were getting better but recognize that detachment with love is still the deal.

I appreciate the support and that really helps me a lot.

In response to the question about "is it normal for kids to try pot"....I think that it is normal to experiment with all sorts of different things. For instance, my youngest just went rock climbing (which doesn't seem normal to me...I don't like scaling vertical surfaces). Some try rock climbing and others try pot and alcohol. Unfortunately, experimentation will always capture the few that have a tendency to addictive thinking/behaving. I experimented with things but they weren't for me. It seems that I went back to my DOC which was codie-ness.

I am reading a book by Marianne Williamson about weight loss/addictive eating and she speaks to how prevelent numbing ourselves is in our society....cigarettes, coffee, playing spidar solitaire, video games, etc. I honestly think it's about how and why you use these things. When they interfere with my relationships and my ability to live my life there is a problem.

thanks again ya'll.

Chino

Addiction is addiction, as far as science is concerned. After that, the definitions change with the medical and behavioral health community. All the professionals I've spoken with consider me an addict, regardless of whether I'm actively abusing a substance or not. I accept my addictive personality.

Funny thing -- only a handful of recovering A's accept me as a fellow addict, since I haven't demonstrated and suffered the extreme behavioral consequences.

None of my fellow non narcotic, legal substance and behavioral abusers accept me as an addict either.

The former group seem to view me as minimizing addiction, and the latter seem to view me as exaggerating it.

I'm sticking with science and the rest of the medical and behavioral health community. They have facts to back it all up, not just personal opinions.

He was definitely thinking something, and I agree with you that it probably wasn't a cry for help. It's all so glorified by way too many. Look how long it took before cigarettes weren't glorified in the movies. And for crying out loud, getting drunk still is.

Being around our loved ones when they're under the influence is bad enough, but it's just awful that you saw it.

TearsforSon

This is my first post but had to chime in that coffee, caffeine and tobacco are not illegal. Sorry, just hit a sore spot since my AS first choice was pot and now he is hooked on OC's. I know not everyone has gone down the road of harder drugs after using pot but I have heard so many stories with it being the gateway drug for many.

SeekingGrowth

SadHeart and SundaysChild, thank you so much for your comments. Prior to taking in my "bonus son" (my AS), I was fairly neutral on the subject of marijuana. I had used it a handful of times myself while in high school but never liked it. Experimented with it few times in the (many) years that followed with some friends who were into it, just to see if I still felt the same way (I did). I knew people who enjoyed it, and I didn't care one way or the other if people used. I also have a biological son who liked it and used it from time to time with friends - he was in high school/college, and while I did not allow it in my house or in my presence, I figured no big deal - I sort of looked the other way, thinking, "heck, at that age, they all do it."

And then my AS came live with us. I learned that a person could truly be addicted to this stuff and that it could (like any other mood-altering drug) prevent him from growing, maturing, and learning how to cope in a healthy, non-medicated way with emotional issues, stress, etc. I saw the effect on his motivation, his ability to think and learn. The kid HAD to get high from first thing in the morning to before going to bed. He couldn't go to sleep without it. When anything upset him even in the slightest, he literally ran for the bong. He couldn't go two days without getting high, and that was with him really trying to stop. His words to me: "Why do you want to take away the only thing that makes me happy?" and "Marijuana makes everything better" and "I'd like to be high 24/7" and "I only feel normal when I'm high." I remember once, when for some reason he didn't have any for a weekend and was just going CRAZY for it, climbing the walls. He finally broke one pipe to scrape the resin out of it into another pipe to smoke the resin.

I'd never seen anything like this. I'd never been that close to addiction before. It was shocking to me, and CLEARLY a problem. It wasn't going to kill him, like heroin might. But he clearly wasn't going anywhere in his life until he stopped smoking weed all day, every day. But he couldn't; he was an addict. And because he was an addict, and had learned to cope with life and stress only by getting high (and we all know that ultimately, addiction to a mood-altering substance INCREASES stress and anxiety and depression), after awhile weed wasn't enough any more. He moved on to opiates, starting with Vicodin and ultimately graduating to shooting heroin. He's dead now.

I am no longer neutral about marijuana. I hate the stuff - with a passion.

Ann

I have removed a few posts and sent a PM to those who became involved in a debate over whether marijuana was harmful or not...this is a recovery forum here and we do not condone the use of any illegal substance.

Please, let's all show some respect to Lightseeker who shared her pain here of seeing her son use. I personally have felt her pain and I know I needed support when I did.

Apologies from me, Lightkeeper for not stopping the debate long before now.

Carry on.

kmangel

I think teenagers are typically going to "experiment" with things.

My elder son liked to try different activities as a teenager--paint ball, radio helicopters, scuba diving, learning to pilot an airplane, motorcycles, etc.--but he never got into drugs. I venture to guess he got a definite "rush" up in the air high above the trees at 15 or later zooming around on a motorcycle. Healthy "rushes". The way it is supposed to be for young people.

Then came our younger son four years later. He chose his rushes to come from smoking and pills. He said he wanted to feel less anxious in groups of people, but marijuana made him feel more anxious. He "experimented" with lots of different drugs. He "graduated" to heroin eventually. Too bad marijuana made him feel so bad. Would have been a better demon to battle than heroin addiction!

As far as cries for help, my son has left incriminating evidence around for me to find. I don't know if it's so much a cry for help or total loss of the ability to rationally think (better put the photos of my latest drug party in a safe place rather than on the arm of the sofa where Mom will find them). The keg in the trunk of the car was a doozy, too! He made it easy that's for sure. It wasn't necessary to snoop!

Ah, those were the days.

lightseeker

thanks Ann....you read me well and the situation as well. It's interesting because the discord simply is another version of the polarity between my son's father and myself.

I've watched my son go from "social use" to active addiction. I've seen the same looks and behaviors in him as I have people addicted to harder substances.

This afternoon when I saw my counselor I showed the video to her (she is well schooled in addiction/recovery) and she termed it "blood curdling".

He had a corneal ulcer last week and this morning I received a text that he was worsening. Long story short - he is on the plane from Mexico right now due to this is considered a medical emergency according to the Mexico peeps. Thought I had a week to reflect and chose my next step but looks like HP has other plans.

I really do appreciate the support and understanding of my SR family. It was really painful to see that my son took a possession of mine and then used it to shove his choices into my face.