Endofline

Windmills and lovemenot these two post really hit home for me. That's exactly what happened to me. I lost myself worth. He stopped loving me and doing the loving things one does in a relationship. It didn't matter what I did or how I tried to keep myself he didn't want me anymore and I felt and still do that I'm not worthy. Not pretty enough,not young enough not smart enough not cool enough. But there was a time I was all those things and so much more, a person who would take a bullet for a loved one. I know I need to keep moving through this one day at a time thank you for sharing I built my whole life around my kids my husband and my two dogs now it just me and obscured lost the other march 3rd and I miss him so much. My kids well the oldest lives on her own, my middle went to stay with her dad but is leaving for another state to go to college in august and my youngest my son he is also at his dads now. Im just feeling like such a failure and lonely. I'm not in the frame of mind to even be social so I sit here alone. I did go out this weekend and had fun,but what I want is a family life not a single life.

LoveMeNow

EOL - I understand that. I tried so hard too and now I sit alone as well. But an addict in not capable of having a loving relationship. It's NOT personal. We codie's aren't capable of it either. So lets get healthy, heal our wounds, move on and see what life brings.

Lets be honest, NOTHING is better then what we had.

I don't know if he was a pretending to be someone he wasn't or his addiction progressed so much he changed but either way.. you have to accept it and heal from it. He is NOT capable of an honest, healthy relationship and you deserve so much better. Holding on to what was - is like shoveling sh!t against the tide, it just won't work.

Ann

SR is a wonderful site and it's sole purpose is to help people recover from addictions and/or codependency and
members are invited to find recovery by reaching out or to share their own recovery with those searching for a solution.

I came here 10 years ago a broken mess, reached out and listened to those who went before me, found my balance again
and reclaimed my life....not overnight but slowly, one step at a time.

I stay to repay what was so freely given to me, hope for a life filled with beauty and peace.

I stay because every newcomer walking in that door reminds me of where I came from and why I don't want to go there ever again,
and I hope that perhaps by sharing my light they might follow and find a better life for themselves.

I stay to support those who have walked with me and held me up when I could no longer stand on my own, they became my crutch,
they have become old friends and very dear to my heart.

Recovery tool? You betcha! Crutch? Thankfully, yes.

I am forever grateful for all I have learned here, for all who have walked with me on my journey of recovery,
and for each one of you who support this forum with your own stories of courage and light.

Hugs

LoveMeNow

Amen Ann!! Great post!!

lightseeker

Ann - you summed it up for me. My qualifier that brought me to SR is no longer a part of my life. I came here initially to learn and to seek clarity. I stayed because I found so many people that had what I wanted. Through them and working a program I've begun to find serenity and peace. I continue to come here because it helps to ground me in my recovery and also allows me to reach out a hand to the newcomer. I remember how much it meant to me when I was the newcomer.

Each of you has become my friend and I am so grateful for our community. So....I say I come here as a crutch and a tool for recovery. Sometimes I need the crutch and somtimes I am the crutch......as each of us is at some point....