They want DNA from him now
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Do you see how confusing it is? Its easy to say well he should want you to go home. But if Im home I wont know what is going on and I will still be upset, and worse I will feel like I abandoned him when he needed me.
When someone uses our emotions (fear) as a means of keeping us confused or entangled with them, it is manipulation. When someone uses our own sense of what is the right thing to do (obligation) as a tool to make us question our thinking.......it is manipulation. When someone tries to make us feel bad (guilt) for looking out for our own welfare......it is manipulation.
I've been held in that kind of fog by two people I loved very much. I didn't believe that anyone could do that to another person. They can. They do.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
......a Dad's view....
I am trying to think of how to write this so there is not a single solitary trace of anything
that could smack of lecturing or condescension.
Having passed the 50 yr point,I have watched how men use women for a VERY long time.
Women want to find their special guy,"the one".Their 'soulmate'.
Phony loser jackals know this---and prey upon it,in a most profoundly cruel and vicious
way.......by pretending to be Prince Charming,the love she has always dreamed of finding.
All I can tell you is what I tell my daughter.......
1.Ask questions.Verify the answers/CROSSCHECK.
2.View any anger at the asking of those questions as the reddest of red flags.
3.Even redder is any attempt to ISOLATE you from those who truly care for you and can
SMELL any attempt to snow,hurt,or use you.THEY are not subject to the spider/snakes
mesmerizing stare that hypnotizes the subject.
4.Never, Never,EVER! Allow yourself to get into a situation where you cannot
successfully egress/extricate yourself from the situation physically/financially intact----at
a time and place of YOUR OPTION.
In short----ask questions,lots of them.Google the crap out of him.If he says he
is an astronaut,he will be MORE than happy for you to check up on every
last detail (did you ever know a male who DIDN'T want to boast of his victories?)
BUT......if questions bring out anger,a dark mood,or counter accusations----chances
are the lad isn't telling you the truth.Think oxy instead of rocket oxidizer,Percocet instead
of performance,and Vicodin instead of victories.
I am trying to think of how to write this so there is not a single solitary trace of anything
that could smack of lecturing or condescension.
Having passed the 50 yr point,I have watched how men use women for a VERY long time.
Women want to find their special guy,"the one".Their 'soulmate'.
Phony loser jackals know this---and prey upon it,in a most profoundly cruel and vicious
way.......by pretending to be Prince Charming,the love she has always dreamed of finding.
All I can tell you is what I tell my daughter.......
1.Ask questions.Verify the answers/CROSSCHECK.
2.View any anger at the asking of those questions as the reddest of red flags.
3.Even redder is any attempt to ISOLATE you from those who truly care for you and can
SMELL any attempt to snow,hurt,or use you.THEY are not subject to the spider/snakes
mesmerizing stare that hypnotizes the subject.
4.Never, Never,EVER! Allow yourself to get into a situation where you cannot
successfully egress/extricate yourself from the situation physically/financially intact----at
a time and place of YOUR OPTION.
In short----ask questions,lots of them.Google the crap out of him.If he says he
is an astronaut,he will be MORE than happy for you to check up on every
last detail (did you ever know a male who DIDN'T want to boast of his victories?)
BUT......if questions bring out anger,a dark mood,or counter accusations----chances
are the lad isn't telling you the truth.Think oxy instead of rocket oxidizer,Percocet instead
of performance,and Vicodin instead of victories.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Pink you are about one more manipulating conversation away from being tied up in a crappy apartment and these posts being read on Dateline NBC. If he was innocent the cops would have cleared him and been on their way to finding out who is responsible for this poor girls untimely death. They think they have something obviously. He is going to absolutely ruin you for future relationships. Get gone! Call your parents and get out. No apologies or "thank you for a lovely visit" JUST GO! Forget what his mom thinks about you or your choice of swimwear.
I cant believe that after a few months of living together, you finally meet his parents and oh by the way on our visit I have to talk to the police about a dead girl--BUT DONT WORRY MY PARENTS GOT ME A GOOD ATTORNEY! His own mom and dad know THIS IS BAD. Innocent people dont lawyer up! The way his mom was pacing around the other day tells me his family knows WAY more than they are letting you in on.
The conversation where he told you we HAVE to stick together makes me ill. I also LOVE that while he was abusing cocaine he was trying to help the victim kick her herion habit--WHAT A SAINT! Why do you have to stick around for this?
Hindsight is 20/20..one day you will look back at this with alot of regret. Dont let him determine your future adult life. GO!
I cant believe that after a few months of living together, you finally meet his parents and oh by the way on our visit I have to talk to the police about a dead girl--BUT DONT WORRY MY PARENTS GOT ME A GOOD ATTORNEY! His own mom and dad know THIS IS BAD. Innocent people dont lawyer up! The way his mom was pacing around the other day tells me his family knows WAY more than they are letting you in on.
The conversation where he told you we HAVE to stick together makes me ill. I also LOVE that while he was abusing cocaine he was trying to help the victim kick her herion habit--WHAT A SAINT! Why do you have to stick around for this?
Hindsight is 20/20..one day you will look back at this with alot of regret. Dont let him determine your future adult life. GO!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Having passed the 50 yr point,I have watched how men use women for a VERY long time.
Women want to find their special guy,"the one".Their 'soulmate'
its a 2 way street. women do it too.
Women want to find their special guy,"the one".Their 'soulmate'
its a 2 way street. women do it too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
There are bad men out there, and there are bad women too. I dislike malse abusers but I don't like women who abuse men either. I think men just get more press because they're capable of more harm with brute strength and intimidation- a 5'3" 100lb man wouldn't be half as scary!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 145
Originally Posted by OklaBH 
Pink you are about one more manipulating conversation away from being tied up in a crappy apartment and these posts being read on Dateline NBC . . . I cant believe that after a few months of living together, you finally meet his parents and oh by the way on our visit I have to talk to the police about a dead girl--BUT DONT WORRY MY PARENTS GOT ME A GOOD ATTORNEY! His own mom and dad know THIS IS BAD!
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Most innocent people whould be absolutely terrified giving a DNA sample for a murder investigation. If I was innocent & had to give a DNA I would be worried there could be a mistake. The fact that he doesn't seem too upset over this situation is scary. This is a murder investigation with life ending consequences. Not a case of stolen tools in a shopping cart.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 82
Now I feel like I have new people picking on me Jody and Zoenob, just because you think Im so stupid doesn’t mean that his family thinks I am.
I don’t know why I didn’t meet them sooner. They don’t live that close and when we were dating and first moved in together it just never happened. We were busy with our lives and I that means he isn’t all caught up in his family right? I think that is so mean to say they wont let me come into the big house with them. My boyfriend told them we would stay in the other little house. He used to live in it for a while and its not a shack. I like it there and it gives us privacy and I can wear or not wear whatever I want. Omg his mom has been nice to me but are you telling me she didn’t have a right to be upset that her son was going of his own free will to talk to the police about that girl. I mean don’t you think this is all hard for her to even think about her son being with someone like that and even the thought that he could have been involved in this horrible thing. She was upset and since we don’t know each other much I didn’t think it was good to try to comfort her that day because I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want her trying to fill my time that wasn’t right.
Whoever said it was mean of his parents to get him an attorney and help him I think your thinking is backwards. My parents would do the same for me and there is no way they would tell me like you said you do the crime you do the time or whatever. Maybe it teaches a lesson but I think its mean and who who could do that to their kid? I don’t think your in the bigger group of how people would handle this and how people take care of their kids.
I wish you would stop trying to scare me. We had a great day yesterday and he was completely into me and nice and normal like always and we had a lot of fun. I was afraid something bad would happen with the police but there was nothing. I told you he said he would give them the dna sample beause he does want to clear himself so we can move on with our lives, but he is scared too, and he has to do what his attorney tells him, and the attorney says there is no need to do that because they gave them proof he wasn’t even in the city when it happened. If he wasn’t here then he couldn’t have done anything could he ?
One minute your saying he should be not worried and then you say a normal person would be worried. I think he is still worried but he is trying not to. Today we are going with his dad to work. I cant tell you where he works but I am really excited because it will be so much fun I think. I am also still thinking about what you said about telling my parents but they will freak out and I m afraid. We will be home next weekend and I feel a lot better now that we spent the day yesterday with each other.
I did think about what you said about manipulation and then I got to thinking about it but really how many uncomfortable things do we do everyday because of obligation, or guilt. Maybe not fear but I guess that depends how you look at it you know. Maybe he did manipulate me to stay because he needs me here with him while he goes through this . I didn’t think it was my place to go with him and his dad to see the attorney and no he didn’t invite me but he showed me all the papers the attorney gave him and he explained it all to me . This was three years ago and he says that if he was really a suspect then they would have forced him to come in to talk to them long before not wait around for him to show up. That does make sense doesn’t it? I keep seeing images of that girl and I saw her for real picture in the attorney stuff. It was sick, and my boyfriend told me to stop looking at it because it was upsetting me so much.
Things are alright today and I wanted to let you all know. I do feel guilty now about my parents and I told him maybe I should tell them but we agreed it would be hard t explain over the phone. I mean how would I say that his ex died of an overdose, and he had to talk to the police. Do I tell them about the drugs with him, and her being tied up, and the dna sample. It is confusing to explain hes right. I did find the names of her parents in the paperwork and im going to look back up that girl because I forgot the exact names now.
Crazybaby, I will send you a private message with the weblinks Ive been using . It is really cool and I wanted to look more still but don’t want to do it in front of my boyfriend so it will have to wait a little while.
im ok everyone feeling lot better today .
I don’t know why I didn’t meet them sooner. They don’t live that close and when we were dating and first moved in together it just never happened. We were busy with our lives and I that means he isn’t all caught up in his family right? I think that is so mean to say they wont let me come into the big house with them. My boyfriend told them we would stay in the other little house. He used to live in it for a while and its not a shack. I like it there and it gives us privacy and I can wear or not wear whatever I want. Omg his mom has been nice to me but are you telling me she didn’t have a right to be upset that her son was going of his own free will to talk to the police about that girl. I mean don’t you think this is all hard for her to even think about her son being with someone like that and even the thought that he could have been involved in this horrible thing. She was upset and since we don’t know each other much I didn’t think it was good to try to comfort her that day because I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want her trying to fill my time that wasn’t right.
Whoever said it was mean of his parents to get him an attorney and help him I think your thinking is backwards. My parents would do the same for me and there is no way they would tell me like you said you do the crime you do the time or whatever. Maybe it teaches a lesson but I think its mean and who who could do that to their kid? I don’t think your in the bigger group of how people would handle this and how people take care of their kids.
I wish you would stop trying to scare me. We had a great day yesterday and he was completely into me and nice and normal like always and we had a lot of fun. I was afraid something bad would happen with the police but there was nothing. I told you he said he would give them the dna sample beause he does want to clear himself so we can move on with our lives, but he is scared too, and he has to do what his attorney tells him, and the attorney says there is no need to do that because they gave them proof he wasn’t even in the city when it happened. If he wasn’t here then he couldn’t have done anything could he ?
One minute your saying he should be not worried and then you say a normal person would be worried. I think he is still worried but he is trying not to. Today we are going with his dad to work. I cant tell you where he works but I am really excited because it will be so much fun I think. I am also still thinking about what you said about telling my parents but they will freak out and I m afraid. We will be home next weekend and I feel a lot better now that we spent the day yesterday with each other.
I did think about what you said about manipulation and then I got to thinking about it but really how many uncomfortable things do we do everyday because of obligation, or guilt. Maybe not fear but I guess that depends how you look at it you know. Maybe he did manipulate me to stay because he needs me here with him while he goes through this . I didn’t think it was my place to go with him and his dad to see the attorney and no he didn’t invite me but he showed me all the papers the attorney gave him and he explained it all to me . This was three years ago and he says that if he was really a suspect then they would have forced him to come in to talk to them long before not wait around for him to show up. That does make sense doesn’t it? I keep seeing images of that girl and I saw her for real picture in the attorney stuff. It was sick, and my boyfriend told me to stop looking at it because it was upsetting me so much.
Things are alright today and I wanted to let you all know. I do feel guilty now about my parents and I told him maybe I should tell them but we agreed it would be hard t explain over the phone. I mean how would I say that his ex died of an overdose, and he had to talk to the police. Do I tell them about the drugs with him, and her being tied up, and the dna sample. It is confusing to explain hes right. I did find the names of her parents in the paperwork and im going to look back up that girl because I forgot the exact names now.
Crazybaby, I will send you a private message with the weblinks Ive been using . It is really cool and I wanted to look more still but don’t want to do it in front of my boyfriend so it will have to wait a little while.
im ok everyone feeling lot better today .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by pinkchampagne
Maybe it teaches a lesson but I think its mean and who who could do that to their kid? I don’t think your in the bigger group of how people would handle this and how people take care of their kids.
It feels good again, so dont worry about it. That's how a junkie feels when hes gotten another hit. It feels good now, dont worry about it. and you've just got another hit of explanations and what you think life with this kid is. Soon it flips again. Hence the rollercoaster analogy.
He doesnt HAVE to do what the attorney says.
p.s. him sitting down with your parents and explaining the story and NOT leaving out major details is a nice idea but I bet you it wont happen. If theyre getting an edited story, so are you.
Whatever was telling you to leave and go home, go back to listening to that voice.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Hi pink, good morning.
Glad you are feeling better today.
Honey, what is it you want from us here.
You are at the source here, you will get it told like it is here.
You have alcoholics, drug addicts, people who's lives have been turned upside down by addiction, we have seen the darkside, all of us.
If you want us to tell you don't worry, it's okay, we are not worried about you, it won't happen.
This situation is very serious, we are talking murder here, somehow you are missing something, the fact of the matter is this, your boyfriend, is being questioned , in a muder investigation, 4 or so years after the fact. There is no complete innocence here, somehow he is involved, in my mind, you are missing the point. No one is being mean, I think you are a very small fish, swimming in a potential cesspool full of very dangerous sharks. If it's wrong for us to be concerned, I'm at a loss. take care
Glad you are feeling better today.
Honey, what is it you want from us here.
You are at the source here, you will get it told like it is here.
You have alcoholics, drug addicts, people who's lives have been turned upside down by addiction, we have seen the darkside, all of us.
If you want us to tell you don't worry, it's okay, we are not worried about you, it won't happen.
This situation is very serious, we are talking murder here, somehow you are missing something, the fact of the matter is this, your boyfriend, is being questioned , in a muder investigation, 4 or so years after the fact. There is no complete innocence here, somehow he is involved, in my mind, you are missing the point. No one is being mean, I think you are a very small fish, swimming in a potential cesspool full of very dangerous sharks. If it's wrong for us to be concerned, I'm at a loss. take care
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
(((((pinkchampagne)))))
I have been following this whole saga. Have not found it necessary to
add to all the good ES&H that has been posted.
I am an alcoholic/addict with over 31 years of being clean and sober,
and I still to this day have to make sure, and 'double check' myself
when relaying something from my past that I am telling the full and
complete 'real' story, not the one from my 'distorted reality' days.
I also have 28+ years in recovery from being a co dependent. I will
admit that when it is being done to me I may have a bit harder time
and it may take me a bit longer to spot 'manipulation', however, when
I read reports and 'updates' like yours I get RED FLAGS all over the
place. However, you will do what you will do.
Will just say that I am sending good thoughts and prayers that your
"AHA" moment comes soon, way before you get totally enmeshed in
this persons DRAMA, and find it even harder if not impossible to ex-
tract yourself at a later date.
Love and hugs,
I have been following this whole saga. Have not found it necessary to
add to all the good ES&H that has been posted.
I am an alcoholic/addict with over 31 years of being clean and sober,
and I still to this day have to make sure, and 'double check' myself
when relaying something from my past that I am telling the full and
complete 'real' story, not the one from my 'distorted reality' days.
I also have 28+ years in recovery from being a co dependent. I will
admit that when it is being done to me I may have a bit harder time
and it may take me a bit longer to spot 'manipulation', however, when
I read reports and 'updates' like yours I get RED FLAGS all over the
place. However, you will do what you will do.
Will just say that I am sending good thoughts and prayers that your
"AHA" moment comes soon, way before you get totally enmeshed in
this persons DRAMA, and find it even harder if not impossible to ex-
tract yourself at a later date.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
I know it is about useless pink champagne trying to get you to see the reality of what your life is becoming. Even if he is cleared of all charges I really do think you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain and putting yourself in danger. It is all them little things that won’t ever add up. I do hope you prove us all wrong.
I know it all can be so easily explained away, and even better when you have the help of mommy and daddy to take the brunt of it all, oh and they will start using you too in time if not already…Yeah I know you don‘t understand and won‘t. Any good parent would tell you to run, at least once, it would be the right thing to do.
And his parents aren’t doing him any service and most likely are just trying to save their own reputations instead of letting their son who is a grown man deal with what is his.
And for any man to put this burden on his parents, well that is not a man I would have in my life.
There will be some outcome in time.
Either he will be arrested on murder charges or be cleared.
Hmm, maybe a murder charge would be a blessing for you right now. I would hope it would shake you out of whatever you are using to justify this is all as normal but one sad fact is that won’t be any guarantee.
But then maybe he will be cleared, but that doesn’t matter cause life will move on with you carrying this constant nagging voice telling you to run, but you won’t…and as it stands now his chances at staying clean aren’t that good either the statistics speak of that. So maybe it will take you being the one to get a restraining order so that you can get why it is there, and when he calls or shows up with anger and lust in his eyes to hurt you, if you don’t vacate it, then maybe it will be you who finally gets why, it might have been removed….and then maybe it will have to be you who is tied to the bed because he is so f*cking coked up he can’t remember at all who you are oh and trust me he won‘t care because it was a game all along…
But hey I write, my last short story talked about exactly what the men wrote of…the guy did want to proved he was tough and evil, shame the pretty little girl was the evil one instead. He didn’t fare so well … such is life.
And you will learn like all of have here sometimes the hard way. And sadly no matter how bad it becomes you will have no one to blame but yourself.
Because of him, you have become a liar.. Even if in the end it will be the lies you tell yourself that undo you the most.
Because of him you took drugs…
What will you compromise next and is he worth it…
I know it all can be so easily explained away, and even better when you have the help of mommy and daddy to take the brunt of it all, oh and they will start using you too in time if not already…Yeah I know you don‘t understand and won‘t. Any good parent would tell you to run, at least once, it would be the right thing to do.
And his parents aren’t doing him any service and most likely are just trying to save their own reputations instead of letting their son who is a grown man deal with what is his.
And for any man to put this burden on his parents, well that is not a man I would have in my life.
There will be some outcome in time.
Either he will be arrested on murder charges or be cleared.
Hmm, maybe a murder charge would be a blessing for you right now. I would hope it would shake you out of whatever you are using to justify this is all as normal but one sad fact is that won’t be any guarantee.
But then maybe he will be cleared, but that doesn’t matter cause life will move on with you carrying this constant nagging voice telling you to run, but you won’t…and as it stands now his chances at staying clean aren’t that good either the statistics speak of that. So maybe it will take you being the one to get a restraining order so that you can get why it is there, and when he calls or shows up with anger and lust in his eyes to hurt you, if you don’t vacate it, then maybe it will be you who finally gets why, it might have been removed….and then maybe it will have to be you who is tied to the bed because he is so f*cking coked up he can’t remember at all who you are oh and trust me he won‘t care because it was a game all along…
But hey I write, my last short story talked about exactly what the men wrote of…the guy did want to proved he was tough and evil, shame the pretty little girl was the evil one instead. He didn’t fare so well … such is life.
And you will learn like all of have here sometimes the hard way. And sadly no matter how bad it becomes you will have no one to blame but yourself.
Because of him, you have become a liar.. Even if in the end it will be the lies you tell yourself that undo you the most.
Because of him you took drugs…
What will you compromise next and is he worth it…
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
I have followed this thread with confussion on if I should respond or not. I am a recovering addict with 9 years clean. My past still comes back to me. When it does I face it and do what I have to do to make it right.
I can also say that when I was using and not working a program I was a LIAR!!! I don't know one addict that isn't/wasn't.
One of my favorite sayings is that we are only as sick as our secrets. You, Honey, are keeping a big secret from your family. Why are you keeping it from them? My BF is a recovering addict that has been to prison due to his drug abuse. My family knows. I wouldn't hide that from them.
Whoever said it was mean of his parents to get him an attorney and help him I think your thinking is backwards. My parents would do the same for me and there is no way they would tell me like you said you do the crime you do the time or whatever. Maybe it teaches a lesson but I think its mean and who who could do that to their kid? I don’t think your in the bigger group of how people would handle this and how people take care of their kids.
The above struck me. When I was 14 my mom gave me the option of rehab again or move out. I left. My brother has had 7 DWI's, and my mom never bailed him out. The rule was Don't call me to get you out of jail, face your consequences. I thank my mom every day for letting me go through what I went through. Was it easy? Heck no, but it got me where I am today.
Sorry if this jumped around, but my mind is going in so many directions. I pray for you and your safety. God Bless you!
I can also say that when I was using and not working a program I was a LIAR!!! I don't know one addict that isn't/wasn't.
One of my favorite sayings is that we are only as sick as our secrets. You, Honey, are keeping a big secret from your family. Why are you keeping it from them? My BF is a recovering addict that has been to prison due to his drug abuse. My family knows. I wouldn't hide that from them.
Whoever said it was mean of his parents to get him an attorney and help him I think your thinking is backwards. My parents would do the same for me and there is no way they would tell me like you said you do the crime you do the time or whatever. Maybe it teaches a lesson but I think its mean and who who could do that to their kid? I don’t think your in the bigger group of how people would handle this and how people take care of their kids.
The above struck me. When I was 14 my mom gave me the option of rehab again or move out. I left. My brother has had 7 DWI's, and my mom never bailed him out. The rule was Don't call me to get you out of jail, face your consequences. I thank my mom every day for letting me go through what I went through. Was it easy? Heck no, but it got me where I am today.
Sorry if this jumped around, but my mind is going in so many directions. I pray for you and your safety. God Bless you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by LoveMeNot
My father told me "if you ever get arrested, don't even think of calling me." I never got arrested but I knew he meant it. I knew I would be on my own. He would no more hire an attorney for me either, much less attend any of my appointments.
Uncaring? No!! Enabler? No He was just a by the book kind of man...You do the crime, you do the time.
The Scott Peterson, Joran van der Sloot, and Casey Anthony's of this world may have turned out very differently, if someone had actually said NO to them...a long time ago.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
But then maybe he will be cleared, but that doesn’t matter cause life will move on with you carrying this constant nagging voice telling you to run, but you won’t…and as it stands now his chances at staying clean aren’t that good either the statistics speak of that. So maybe it will take you being the one to get a restraining order so that you can get why it is there, and when he calls or shows up with anger and lust in his eyes to hurt you, if you don’t vacate it, then maybe it will be you who finally gets why, it might have been removed….and then maybe it will have to be you who is tied to the bed because he is so f*cking coked up he can’t remember at all who you are oh and trust me he won‘t care because it was a game all along…
I met a wonderful man with a chequered past, ex con, 'ex' addict, had all these stories to tell where he was a victim of bad women, his ex was just a crazy bitch who disappeared and took the kids away while he was in jail. I BELIEVED all that. As it turned out, he showed me exactly why his ex vanished. I had to experience it for myself. 3.5 years was enough, I'm lucky he didn't get my life.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Pink, No one is picking on you. We see what you can't. That doesn't make you stupid, most of couldn't see it either.
No one can make you do anything you don't want to do except for him which you have admitted to. Most of us fear that you are in for a world of hurt (and hurt is an understatement) because we have lived through it.
Your bf has a very dark past, not as simple as someone who "just" had a "drug problem." Have you ever asked him or yourself, how he changed, how he overcame that lifestyle and mindset? Did he receive help and/or treatment. Pink, people don't just change because they want to. Change takes a lot of hard work for ANYONE!!
(Cocaine is on the top of list for most addictive drugs - maybe you should google it.)
No one can make you do anything you don't want to do except for him which you have admitted to. Most of us fear that you are in for a world of hurt (and hurt is an understatement) because we have lived through it.
Your bf has a very dark past, not as simple as someone who "just" had a "drug problem." Have you ever asked him or yourself, how he changed, how he overcame that lifestyle and mindset? Did he receive help and/or treatment. Pink, people don't just change because they want to. Change takes a lot of hard work for ANYONE!!
(Cocaine is on the top of list for most addictive drugs - maybe you should google it.)
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