butterflyluver

What was your breaking point when you knew you just couldnt live with addiction in your life anymore? And how did you make the a leave your home? Im pretty sure im at that point. I feel discusted with him hate when he comes home from work and go to bed when my 4yr old does...im just unsure of what to say and how much time to allow him to find a place? I know hes not active with pills but I rwad up on that k2 stuff and was horrified and when I told him what I read he says...no worse then smoking ciggs I just laughed shook my head and walked away! On a good note I have family support services set up to come to my hkme and work with me on my sons behavior!

PrayingMama

I can speak only from the experience of being the parent of an addict, but my breaking point was when I finally found out how long he had been using and concealing it and it was obvious that he couldn't stay clean and sober by just going to meetings, that he needs to enter inpatient rehab or leave the home (he chose to leave his father's home and he knows he can't live with me unless he enters rehab first, and even then the best place for him may be a Sober Living house).

I guess I would have to say my breaking point came when I realized that he wasn't getting well with the way things were, so those things had to change for the good of everyone involved in the situation.

When the addict is your spouse/significant other and there is a child involved, maybe you own property together or have a joint lease agreement, etc. etc., those elements have to be addressed and perhaps seeking some legal counsel would be advisable.

Have you reached out for any sort of help and support through an Al-anon or Nar-anon meeting, or a social worker or clergy person? Perhaps the family support services person can offer some guidance.

supportforme

My breaking point was when the police showed up at the door and asked to check my home and then I was contacted by federal agents. I lived with a high functioning pill addict that the worst his kids experienced up until that point was daddy going to sleep early or "sleeping" in his room for 2-3 days. Other than that he was Daddy of the year. In 1 day, my young children and I were shocked into the reality of his addiction and nothing will prepare you for that reality other than therapy. His little boys had to experience their home being searched by police. I pray to God you reach your point earlier than I do. BTW - Not 1 person that did not live in this home would ever believe that he had a problem that's how High Functioning addiction works.

butterflyluver

Thank you both for sharing it means alot to me.

Jody675

this site was my sobering point.

but in my marriage my breaking point was when my ex husband was caught out lying about using the internet one too many times. i just got sick of the lies and realised nothing would change until i changed it.

Katiekate

I had many, they were all the same, sharing wonderful, close, romantic, fun days on end together, and then, one word, one action, one wrong move and bam, a week, two weeks of arguing, the silent treatment, explaining that he misunderstood what I said, and he did. Then reuniting, enjoying each others company, then bam, questioning my existence, feeling confused and lonely and scared, tired and worn out. Being called names, ignored, no email, no phone call, no concern for my feelings, him trying to control me, accusing me of being with other men, telling me how I should feel. Over and over and over again. The relization that what I was doing was actually more harmful, that love doesn't hurt so much, that I didn't deserve to be treated like I was nothing.

And then finally, it hit me, he pushes me away because the sum total of who he was when all of this was going on, was not the guy I loved, that that guy was dimished, that I was losing him, that the addict had emerged victorious, and that I was only in the way of any possibility for at least one of us to be healthy. And knowing with every inch of my being that if I didn't get out, somehow I would always be sick.

And it hurts like hell.

Windmills

Hmm.. The day I left him was about 2-3 weeks after he took a methadone overdose and attempted to cut his wrists in front of our then 16 month old, then held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me (while I held the baby) because I had phoned an ambulance for him, and in his tiny cracked out paranoid mind, I had really phoned the police and I was trying to stop him leaving so he would be arrested.. Really I just wanted him to get medical attention. Anyway, we were referred to social services, I signed a contract with them to say if I find out he is using I leave or they take my daughter. A couple of weeks later I catch him collecting cigarette ash (for a crack pipe) and wait until he goes out, pack my bags and RUN.
However, all that wasn't enough apparently. I distanced myself physically but not emotionally, over the next few months he emptied my bank account the week before Xmas, started a hate campaign by telling people the baby wasn't his and he had caught me with another man (his family believed this and gave me awful verbal abuse). I was then stalked and threatened by a drug dealer, he was going to shoot me and petrol bomb my house over a £3k debt my ex had with him. I had to get out and take the baby, ended up at my ex's sisters house.. She said 'I know you're scared now but you'll get used to it'. I thought WTF, NO. That's when I knew things had to change. That was mid January. There were loads more incidents of verbal/psychological/emotional abuse and threatening behaviour between those dates, and from January to May 9th when I went no contact he just carried on and got worse as the weeks went by.
Now I've moved house, changed my number and the only way he can contact me is through my lawyer. Enough wasn't enough until ii decided and not a moment before. And I still REALLY struggle with no contact, I spent 2 hours on the phone with my sponsor tonight talking myself into and back out of phoning him.