round6

I have posted a few times concerning my boys recovery and during this time I never tried to recover myself. My youngest son was living with me until last night. He is a recovering OC/Heroin addict. He has relapsed twice during his stay with me but only when he went back to California to visit. My issue here is that I continued to drink around him and that truly became his drug of choice. His step brother came out for a visit just out of prison which I allowed, I mean it's my wifes house to. I did mention it probably wasnt the best time since we are trying to assist my son in getting his life together. Anyway, I am trying to make sense of all this; Wow have I screwed up. I couldnt help anyone unless I help myself. I hope it's not to late to live the right way, Sober that is. My marriage is over, we are going forward in a divorce. Her son is leaving back for California today, I hope. My home is no longer safe. I feel very much in danger with the anger that has evolved. I have not only messed up my sons life but my 3 year marriage as well. We should have never continued drinking while my son was living with us. My fear now is that this becomes a trigger for him to use again and flatline for the last time. Terribly scared of how things have gone.

laurie6781

Welcome to Sober Recovery. You have found a great place with lots of Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H) from folks who have gone through or are going through what you are now.

First I would ask .................. do you and your wife have a problem with how much you drink, or are you just talking a glass of wine with food, etc?

Second, does not matter if you drank around him or not ................... your son has to WANT recovery.

Has your son been in a program? Is he or was he working a program of recovery?

You cannot blame yourself and you cannot protect the addict.

You did not cause this.

You cannot control this.

You cannot cure this.

I would like to suggest that you read around this forum, read the 'stickys' on the first page of this forum, read some of the threads, then pull out your keyboard and start asking questions.

I would also suggest that you look into Naranon and/or Alanon meetings in your area for YOU. I suggest Alanon as many times there are not too many Naranon meetings available but both programs are for the families and friends of A's.

Now, if you and/or your wife do have a problem with alcohol, I would suggest that now would be a good time for y'all to check with your doctor before detoxing, detox, and then find some help for your own problem.

In the meantime, please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,