Triggers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 69
Triggers
As I was riding around my city this morning running some errands I couldn't help but think of all the triggers that make me think of my AS and what he has done to our family.
The Goodwill store where I drove him daily for community service.
The community college where I took a week off work without pay so I could drive him there for five days of orientation so he could complete his GED online. He ended up blowing it off. (he did get it eventually)
The Methadone clinic where I drove him daily (and paid) only to find out he was still using.
The courthouse.
The grocery store where he cashed forged checks.
The pawnshop.
The detox center.
The house where the boy lived that he first did H with. That young man is now in prison for killing his drug dealer for drugs.
The churches where I drove him to so many NA meetings.
And the gas station where he was first arrested for trying to buy alcohol with a fake ID. It is being razed to widen the road so at least I won't have to look at it anymore.
whaty
The Goodwill store where I drove him daily for community service.
The community college where I took a week off work without pay so I could drive him there for five days of orientation so he could complete his GED online. He ended up blowing it off. (he did get it eventually)
The Methadone clinic where I drove him daily (and paid) only to find out he was still using.
The courthouse.
The grocery store where he cashed forged checks.
The pawnshop.
The detox center.
The house where the boy lived that he first did H with. That young man is now in prison for killing his drug dealer for drugs.
The churches where I drove him to so many NA meetings.
And the gas station where he was first arrested for trying to buy alcohol with a fake ID. It is being razed to widen the road so at least I won't have to look at it anymore.
whaty
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Your triggers tell me you were a loving mother who tried very hard to "save" her son from himself. Over time, you realized you were powerless and had to save yourself. YOu could NOT save him.
It can be hard not to feel some sort of guilt....as a mother, we can be very hard on ourselves. Right or wrong, it's what we do at times.
I pray you look at all those places, as a reminder, that you tried your best and now it's up to him. It's now between him and God.
It can be hard not to feel some sort of guilt....as a mother, we can be very hard on ourselves. Right or wrong, it's what we do at times.
I pray you look at all those places, as a reminder, that you tried your best and now it's up to him. It's now between him and God.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Our lists are long. Wonder how it would feel to pass by "triggers" and have a happy memory. It becomes difficult to remember any after so many years and trials.
Here is one that is totally ridiculous, but I laughed anyway.
A telephone solicitor called the other day.
When I answered, he said, "Hello, I'm ..... here to ask if you need any help with your hearing."
My response from experience....dum..dum..de..dum. " We don't have any court hearings coming up that I know about."
His response...."I'm speaking about hearing as in auditory...ear hearing!"
One word..two different meanings - depending on our life experiences! Hahahahahaha.
Here is one that is totally ridiculous, but I laughed anyway.
A telephone solicitor called the other day.
When I answered, he said, "Hello, I'm ..... here to ask if you need any help with your hearing."
My response from experience....dum..dum..de..dum. " We don't have any court hearings coming up that I know about."
His response...."I'm speaking about hearing as in auditory...ear hearing!"
One word..two different meanings - depending on our life experiences! Hahahahahaha.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 69
That IS funny, Washbe2. I have just gotten to the point where my heart doesn't stop every time the phone rings.
Even my happy triggers bring sadness for what he could have been. But there is still hope.
whaty
Even my happy triggers bring sadness for what he could have been. But there is still hope.
whaty
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
Sad isn't it. Tonight I was waiting for a bus to pick my daughter up after my meeting, and the stop I was changing at happened to be the same bus stop I stood at in January with my ex and our daughter, on the run from a drug dealer who was threatening to shoot me and petrol bomb my home. Irony.
I think buses are used way more here than in the US though, here it's really common for people to use public transport.
I think buses are used way more here than in the US though, here it's really common for people to use public transport.
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