Message from my son: very disturbing
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Thank you Teresa for keeping us informed. We are here and we are praying. We can feel your pain and we can feel your strength.
It is said... our trial and tribulations are an opportunity to grow closer to God, I pray this is true for you. IMO, Addiction is the devil at work. It steals our loved ones, steals them from their true selves, and tries to steal our faith. Our God's loves is stronger and more powerful so please don't allow addiction to rob you of that too.
I have found myself been on my knees, crying in pain and asking God WHY?? I may never know the answer to that question on this side, but I do know life is a short season and you and JJ will have eternity together. That much I know to be true.
God Bless! (((hugs)))
It is said... our trial and tribulations are an opportunity to grow closer to God, I pray this is true for you. IMO, Addiction is the devil at work. It steals our loved ones, steals them from their true selves, and tries to steal our faith. Our God's loves is stronger and more powerful so please don't allow addiction to rob you of that too.
I have found myself been on my knees, crying in pain and asking God WHY?? I may never know the answer to that question on this side, but I do know life is a short season and you and JJ will have eternity together. That much I know to be true.
God Bless! (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you LMN, I feel your faith and love through the posts. Thank you Jesus for this place (SR) for us who can gather "where two or more" can join in thanksgiving and belief in your strength, love and light.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by Ilovemysonjj 
Thank you LMN, I feel your faith and love through the posts. Thank you Jesus for this place (SR) for us who can gather "where two or more" can join in thanksgiving and belief in your strength, love and light.
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:19-20
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 326
What's more likely to have happened, Theresa, is he purchased the heroin to OD, and started using and it made him feel better, so he felt no need to OD. He scrapped the plan.
And now he's 'happily' (for him) going on with his life without a thought to the hell he put you through, barely remembers the conversation with you. He's 'doing well' (for him), and you are devastated.
I'm the mother of a 22 year old addict whom I haven't seen since mid January 2012. I was worried sick about him, until his brother drove by a park and saw him playing basketball. His brother had been desperately trying to get in contact with him, rearranging work schedules and college classes to meet him only to be stood up. He pulled in and pulled his brother out of the game. His brother was high and having a great time; having the time of his life. A week before he was talking about jumping off the bridge. He'd found a new enabler to mooch off of.
His brother was so disgusted, he washed his hands of him. We were sick with worry--and AS was partying and having fun.
They only want to kill themselves when they have no DOC. Life looks good again when they score and they have no memory of the despair. And while they are high and 'playing basketball' we are sick with worry and unable to take ourselves to a family bbq.
I don't know the answer. But I sure know the problem: and you have my eternal hugs. I am walking beside you.
Please check in every day. We are worried about you.
And now he's 'happily' (for him) going on with his life without a thought to the hell he put you through, barely remembers the conversation with you. He's 'doing well' (for him), and you are devastated.
I'm the mother of a 22 year old addict whom I haven't seen since mid January 2012. I was worried sick about him, until his brother drove by a park and saw him playing basketball. His brother had been desperately trying to get in contact with him, rearranging work schedules and college classes to meet him only to be stood up. He pulled in and pulled his brother out of the game. His brother was high and having a great time; having the time of his life. A week before he was talking about jumping off the bridge. He'd found a new enabler to mooch off of.
His brother was so disgusted, he washed his hands of him. We were sick with worry--and AS was partying and having fun.
They only want to kill themselves when they have no DOC. Life looks good again when they score and they have no memory of the despair. And while they are high and 'playing basketball' we are sick with worry and unable to take ourselves to a family bbq.
I don't know the answer. But I sure know the problem: and you have my eternal hugs. I am walking beside you.
Please check in every day. We are worried about you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Teresa, I hope you continue to draw strength from all the posts and prayers being offered.
SadHeart, your story will be a reminder to many of the parents and loved ones of addicts here that, much more often than not, the scenario you described with your AS is the typical one. It has been for me and my family (21-year-old opiate/heroin addicted son).
His father, step-father and two little brothers and I have often been heartsick with worry or drowning in tears because we didn't know where he was (we don't know where he is right now), but I am working to break that cycle within myself, and to set a healthy, sane example for my younger sons.
Everything--all of it--so much, much easier said than done.
But here we all are, supporting each other, reaching out for a steadying hand, a wise word, enough to get by for today, enough to go on.
Blessings to all on SR.
SadHeart, your story will be a reminder to many of the parents and loved ones of addicts here that, much more often than not, the scenario you described with your AS is the typical one. It has been for me and my family (21-year-old opiate/heroin addicted son).
His father, step-father and two little brothers and I have often been heartsick with worry or drowning in tears because we didn't know where he was (we don't know where he is right now), but I am working to break that cycle within myself, and to set a healthy, sane example for my younger sons.
Everything--all of it--so much, much easier said than done.
But here we all are, supporting each other, reaching out for a steadying hand, a wise word, enough to get by for today, enough to go on.
Blessings to all on SR.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you again, good grounding. I do believe he is too in love with the high to end it all.
I got into a huge fight with my husband last night which pushed me even more to the bottom. Trying to crawl out today.
The prayers are helping
Hugs
Teresa
I got into a huge fight with my husband last night which pushed me even more to the bottom. Trying to crawl out today.
The prayers are helping
Hugs
Teresa
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by Ilovemysonjj
Thank you again, good grounding. I do believe he is too in love with the high to end it all.
I got into a huge fight with my husband last night which pushed me even more to the bottom. Trying to crawl out today.
The prayers are helping
Hugs
Teresa
I got into a huge fight with my husband last night which pushed me even more to the bottom. Trying to crawl out today.
The prayers are helping
Hugs
Teresa
Done it! Done with it. You both need each other right now. Try not to weaken your strength with more stress. Let go and Let God.
XOXOX
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
I went through the same thing last month.
I knew I was totally powerless and just had to wait.
It was so painful. I sat and sang this song to turn it over.
It helped me get my emotions out. When you constantly have to hold those boundaries and defenses in place it is hard to let them
down and get it out.
Many prayers.
I knew I was totally powerless and just had to wait.
It was so painful. I sat and sang this song to turn it over.
It helped me get my emotions out. When you constantly have to hold those boundaries and defenses in place it is hard to let them
down and get it out.
Many prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Teresa,
In a way,all of us on SR are going through,or have gone
through what I call the terrible wait.
If your JJ ever says "nobody cares"---show him these
threads.Show him he is an important part of humanity and
a whole lot of humanity unrelated to him cares very much
about his outcome.
As far as the person I tried my best to help,who considers
herself a "worthless human being"----I wonder how she might
reconsider her path knowing that so many pray for her return to
life every day----including me?
And that is a hell of an admission from someone who
bounces from agnostic to stone cold atheist.
I know the devil is real(addiction)....the cold
calculus of equations dispassionately require something
on the other side of the teeter-totter.
Whatever that is....I don't know.I only know that
I hope my prayers will be heard.both for the lost soul I
hope finds her way home,and for your beloved JJ.
In a way,all of us on SR are going through,or have gone
through what I call the terrible wait.
If your JJ ever says "nobody cares"---show him these
threads.Show him he is an important part of humanity and
a whole lot of humanity unrelated to him cares very much
about his outcome.
As far as the person I tried my best to help,who considers
herself a "worthless human being"----I wonder how she might
reconsider her path knowing that so many pray for her return to
life every day----including me?
And that is a hell of an admission from someone who
bounces from agnostic to stone cold atheist.
I know the devil is real(addiction)....the cold
calculus of equations dispassionately require something
on the other side of the teeter-totter.
Whatever that is....I don't know.I only know that
I hope my prayers will be heard.both for the lost soul I
hope finds her way home,and for your beloved JJ.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Thank you everyone for the ongoing support. It is really helping.
Sadheart, that post really hit home for me.
That sounds so like what is most likely going on with JJ. Once the money runs out, he will contact us or attempt to manipulate into forgiveness. Keep in mind, the only option he has is to turn himself in for stealing and go to jail. Not one he is willing to do unless he is completely destitute.
Vale, what a wonderful suggestion. I will definitely show him how many people care about him when that opportunity arises.
Today, I am really trying to normalize. I find my mind wandering and I start obsessing, so I am reigning in my emotions (stepping away from the crack pipe in my head) sometimes minute by minute.
I find it much easier to deal with this while I am at work because I put on the happy face and it gets me through the day.
Hugs,
TT
Sadheart, that post really hit home for me.
That sounds so like what is most likely going on with JJ. Once the money runs out, he will contact us or attempt to manipulate into forgiveness. Keep in mind, the only option he has is to turn himself in for stealing and go to jail. Not one he is willing to do unless he is completely destitute.
Vale, what a wonderful suggestion. I will definitely show him how many people care about him when that opportunity arises.
Today, I am really trying to normalize. I find my mind wandering and I start obsessing, so I am reigning in my emotions (stepping away from the crack pipe in my head) sometimes minute by minute.
I find it much easier to deal with this while I am at work because I put on the happy face and it gets me through the day.
Hugs,
TT
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
