Addicts are responsible for their actions right?
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((PC))
Welcome to our SR family ~
This is a great place to learn a lot of information about lives that have been deeply affected by the disease of alcoholism/addiction ~ not only the addict but also the family & friends ~
Many of us have seen, heard and walk some time paths in dealing with addiction ~ my path has lead me to deal with this in my now ex husband, adult daughter, step-son and many friends.
I learned the best thing for me was to educate myself about the disease and to work a program of healthy living & recovery for myself.
I hope that you will continue to read, ask questions and seek help for yourself ~
Remember you are worth honesty, respect, dignity and love ~ always
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Welcome to our SR family ~
This is a great place to learn a lot of information about lives that have been deeply affected by the disease of alcoholism/addiction ~ not only the addict but also the family & friends ~
Many of us have seen, heard and walk some time paths in dealing with addiction ~ my path has lead me to deal with this in my now ex husband, adult daughter, step-son and many friends.
I learned the best thing for me was to educate myself about the disease and to work a program of healthy living & recovery for myself.
I hope that you will continue to read, ask questions and seek help for yourself ~
Remember you are worth honesty, respect, dignity and love ~ always
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 326
Originally Posted by cynical one 
Well, playing devil’s advocate. Let’s see how this scenario plays out. Nice girl meets drug addict. Nice girl tries to help drug addict. Nice girl gets caught up in codependency and thinks by using with him she can control his use. Addict does the “if you really loved me you would do whatever it takes”. Nice girl starts getting pimped out by drug addict. Parents of nice girl do all they can to get her away from drug addict, but she goes underground with addict and refuses to see what is really happening because she lovvvvves him. Nice girl ends up dead. Coroner does autopsy, and there is something showing other than accidental overdose to initiate an investigation (bruises, rape, something not quite right). Addict is questioned but not enough to hold him, addict flees the area. Now a couple years later someone who knew something at the time is in trouble and trades his testimony about the dead girl for reduced charges on whatever they are up against now. Case is reopened, and they want to talk to drug addict again. Addict is sure all tracks were covered. Addicts parents having been down this road for years and years…not so sure.
Murder investigations never go away. Three years is NOTHING.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 134
I can't help but get a little angry about this post.
Pinkchampagne, you sound ignorant about addiction. My advice to you would be to learn about addiction because judging by some of the things you have said, you know nothing about addiction, drug addicts, or the cycle of addiction.
I don't mean to sound negative but your boyfriend's past seems to be a little rough, to put it lightly. It is naive of you to think that because he stopped using drugs, that he really wasn't an addict. Judging by the situation from his past that you describe, there aren't many people who would be in that situation if they were not an addict themselves.
Sure, he may have his addiction under control right now but please don't assume that because he's not using or displaying signs of being addicted, that he never will relapse.
It offends me when you say "Ive been reading on here, and most of the addicts sound like they lie and are selfish and manipulative. All the things my boyfriend isn’t."
My boyfriend was never lying, selfish, and manipulative when we first were together, before he relapsed. I too was convinced that my boyfriend wouldn't relapse, took care of his issues of past drug use, and was past that...I thought he learned from his past, took care of the addiction, and was done with that chapter. Fast forward a year....I was dragging him to detox and on the way there, he was begging me to buy him a bag of heroin. He lost his job, car, money, family, friends, etc.
Please don't assume that this will never happen to you. Don't assume that the addict in your life is any different, and not capable of doing the things that you read other addicts doing.
Addiction turns people into something you could never imagine them becoming. Addiction is not picky with its victims, it doesn't discriminate against race, ethnicity, marital status, economic status, etc.
Please don't be naive. Read the stories on this site with an open mind.
None of us here walked into these relationships with our addicts thinking "I'm going to fall in love with someone who will eventually lie, cheat, and steal from me". Most people on here didn't think their addicted loved ones would do the things they've done. You are not the exception.
Best of luck to you.
Pinkchampagne, you sound ignorant about addiction. My advice to you would be to learn about addiction because judging by some of the things you have said, you know nothing about addiction, drug addicts, or the cycle of addiction.
I don't mean to sound negative but your boyfriend's past seems to be a little rough, to put it lightly. It is naive of you to think that because he stopped using drugs, that he really wasn't an addict. Judging by the situation from his past that you describe, there aren't many people who would be in that situation if they were not an addict themselves.
Sure, he may have his addiction under control right now but please don't assume that because he's not using or displaying signs of being addicted, that he never will relapse.
It offends me when you say "Ive been reading on here, and most of the addicts sound like they lie and are selfish and manipulative. All the things my boyfriend isn’t."
My boyfriend was never lying, selfish, and manipulative when we first were together, before he relapsed. I too was convinced that my boyfriend wouldn't relapse, took care of his issues of past drug use, and was past that...I thought he learned from his past, took care of the addiction, and was done with that chapter. Fast forward a year....I was dragging him to detox and on the way there, he was begging me to buy him a bag of heroin. He lost his job, car, money, family, friends, etc.
Please don't assume that this will never happen to you. Don't assume that the addict in your life is any different, and not capable of doing the things that you read other addicts doing.
Addiction turns people into something you could never imagine them becoming. Addiction is not picky with its victims, it doesn't discriminate against race, ethnicity, marital status, economic status, etc.
Please don't be naive. Read the stories on this site with an open mind.
None of us here walked into these relationships with our addicts thinking "I'm going to fall in love with someone who will eventually lie, cheat, and steal from me". Most people on here didn't think their addicted loved ones would do the things they've done. You are not the exception.
Best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Pock89, None of us here walked into these relationships with our addicts thinking "I'm going to fall in love with someone who will eventually lie, cheat, and steal from me". Most people on here didn't think their addicted loved ones would do the things they've done. You are not the exception.
This I found to be very true i had read about addicts threatening suicide I have been with my EAH, for 31 years I thought no way would he ever haha well there is a recent post by me where he DID, why was I so shocked? because I thought my addict was special after all I know him I learned real quick everyone is right no addict is special in what they will say, do, manipulate
This I found to be very true i had read about addicts threatening suicide I have been with my EAH, for 31 years I thought no way would he ever haha well there is a recent post by me where he DID, why was I so shocked? because I thought my addict was special after all I know him I learned real quick everyone is right no addict is special in what they will say, do, manipulate
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