crazybabie

Every time I think I have step 1 mastered nope I get a reality check anyone else have problems getting through this?

crazybabie

We admitted we were powerless over the addict, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Seems so easy I know I am powerless and my life is defiantly unmanageable.

Not sure if I am not getting past step one or if codie things makes me feel I am not

TMZ

No But I keep going back to step one over and over again.

It's kind of like a dance 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4 and back to one again.

Ann

I struggled to get past Step 1 until I fully grasped what it meant to be "powerless" over my son's addiction...he kept teaching me the lesson over and over each time I tried to "help", but it took time before I could grasp it and accept it as a fact. The fact that my life had become unmanageable was easy, all I had to do was look in the mirror.

Once I did that, Step 1 became my "back to reality" step, because it was mostly when I slipped on remembering how powerless I was that I struggled with the steps to come. Like TMZ, I return to this step (and all the steps) often. It helps me keep my balance, my faith and my sanity.

Hugs

Windmills

I was struggling, I finally got the courage to ask a good FA friend to sponsor me, I also bought a step study work book and a copy of the 12 steps in depth.. A sponsor is definitely the main one!

keepfinding2

I too tried step one many times. I knew that I was lying every time I said it.

Kindeyes

I love it! lol

Trust the process. That's what people kept telling me. Trust the process.

I joined a Soup Group. If you haven't heard of this, it's a great way to study the Steps and you can actually start one. It's a wonderful way to work the steps (but does not necessarily replace a sponsor!) A Soup Group is a Step Study meeting that is not "conference approved" but has helped me tremendously. We meet once a week and have been doing so for over a year. We have some great material to work through and it takes us about 5-6 weeks to go through each step.

In addition, I have my wonderful sponsor who guides me and leads me through my rough spots. She has developed into a dear, dear friend.

My particular Soup Group is all women. There are about 9 of us. Each Wednesday we meet at the home of one of us (rotating) and we make soup. Others bring salad, bread & a dessert. It is not only a great way to study the steps but I feel a strong connection to each of these women in a very special way. We have shared a journey that is life changing. I love them for sharing this with me and helping me through the process.

I may do a Soup Group again and again and again. Each time I "review" a Step.....something else becomes clearer to me.

Don't worry about going back to Step One again and again......or Step Two....or Step Four.............trust the process.

gentle hugs
ke

SuzyMarie

I have "The 12 Steps : A Way Out : A Spiritual Process for Healing" . It is a workbook that is set up to be used in a group study, but I use it on my own. It covers each step pretty thoroughly and I have found it to be very helpful. I am still printing out the questions anvilhead posted and working with those, too because the subject cannot be covered enough in my opinion! It always goes back to Step One......

zoso77

Well...here's a roundabout answer.

Back over this past Thanksgiving week, my boiler died, so I was without heat for some time. That Saturday, I experienced an allergic reaction to some medication and my face blew up like I went 12 round with Mike Tyson. Went to the ER, got treated, and left for home around 4 AM...

...except, when I got near home, I noticed that everyone's power was out, including mine. No heat and no power in late November isn't my idea of fun. But, I went for a drive and when I got back the power was back on.

So, I go to bed, lie down, look up at the ceiling and I said aloud, OK, you got me. You got me. It was a realization that there were just some things that I had no control over, whether it was my boiler dying or my then AGF's messed up behavior. I had to admit, once and for all, that I was powerless, and I turned to God after that to restore my sanity. It takes practice. Don't lose faith or hope. You'll get there.

ZoSo

Chino

No one could make me quit obsessing about my daughter and her addiction until I was ready. Since I knew others were powerless over me, then how could I logically have any power over my daughter and her addiction?

crazybabie

Cynical, I asked for for a sponsor and thhey said anyone who is willing can be your sponsor but nothing more am I suppose to just go ask who I feel comfortable with if they will be my sponsor?

Windmills, so you just asked someone if they would sponsor you then? I have a meeting tonight and would love to ask a certain person if she is there.

Anival, Thanks very much those will be extremely helpful.

Thanks for the responses, I am not having problems wit Step one with my addicts now it is my daughter I feel like I am repeating similar behavior with her as I was the addicts.

Example: What I posted here about the possible car she was going to buy from her dad ...which by the way she is not going to buy now, the guy who beat her up and robbed her his brother keeps driving through the shopping center (is a small one) and she got scared and quit work last night.
Anival, Thank you very much that will be extremely helpful.

I am thinking it is possible that things that are normal to discuss with the ones we love I could be confusing with what I should not be doing.

Windmills

I found that as I became more comfortable at meetings I started to get more friendly with people. There are 3 particular ladies I chat to over the phone and before/after meetings but over time one has stood out and we talk 3-4 times a week for an hour, I've been to her home, we've met up outside etc. She has a lot of admirable qualities and I respect her an awful lot. She's TOUGH aswell, she regularly reminds me it's because she cares, but she definitely holds me accountable and demands honesty, which she gets from me. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I decided to start my steps so I phoned her and asked her to sponsor me and she agreed. I will say that there is a lot to be said for getting to know someone before asking them to be your sponsor- there are several people floating around my city who talk an excellent program but don't live it. It's not obvious until you actually listen to their shares and speak with them outside the meeting.

lesliej

A sponsor has helped me to keep remembering to lay down my weapons and pick up my tools.

I tried to use weapons in fighting addiction, which drained my life energy and, having so little left, I could not tend to my own life and it, thus, became unmanageable.

Instead I keep learning to use my tools, which are such awesome gifts, to create a life that I have deep gratitude for and that feels like something that I don't even necessarily "manage" as much as experience, find strength in, and feel hope for the future!

The program offers a broken arrow of peace.