Divedivapro

What can I do?

I am in Florida and my 27 yo daughter is in North Carolina. She is being discharged from the USCG because she failed a drug test. High levels of cocaine and marijuana. I knew she had an alcohol issue but had no idea there was a drug issue.

We are devastated. I was so proud of my Coastie! She is in denial and refuses to listen to me. Receiving nominal "substance abuse" counseling from the service for the next 3 weeks until she is discharged. Needs drug rehab and daily AA meetings.

What can I do? The distance is an issue, and I am unable to pick up and move to NC to babysit her and make sure she gets treatment. She will have no health insurance once discharged.

How does a parent of an adult substance abuser help when there is so much distance involved?

Hevyn

Welcome Dive! I'm glad you found us - it does help to talk to others who've been through similar things. You're far from alone, that's for sure. Please keep posting and let us know how it's going.

(I thought they would be given another chance if they sought treatment - especially with 7 yrs. service.)

suki44883

She's an adult, not an 8 year old child. If she wants help, she will arrange to get it. If she was living on her own already, then she is old enough to take care of her own issues. This is not something for you to fix for her. I'm sorry it happened, but she got herself into this trouble, so she should have to figure out what to do next.

Divedivapro

They get two chances if it is an alcohol infraction, but there is a Zero Tolerance on drugs, immediate discharge.

wicked

I am sorry for that Dive. I had treatment for alcohol in the Army, it was fantastic. Yes, I agree with the others, she has to do this herself.
Geez, what a shame to lose her time in service.


Beth

story74

I use to resent my xah's mother because she never came down when his addict self showed himself. It was quite an explosion. Honestly, I understand my resentment, but there is nothing you can do. Nothing. I think if it were me, I would go and visit so I could see her eye to eye, but that is me. I would have to at least try. But, having dealt with an addict for the past year, NOTHING can pull them Way unless THEY want it. I'm sorry for your pain. I will keep you in my thoughts. Get counseling for you. This could be a very painful journey.

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR. There are many mothers here who have adult children who are addicted. You are not alone.

Stick around. Learn. Read. Post. Ask questions. And you'll find that most of us have concluded that we can't help someone who doesn't want our help. In fact, I think the harder I tried to help, the more my son resented it.

gentle hugs
ke

JMFburns

Dive,

Welcome to SR! Check for AlAnon or NarAnon meetings in your area, it might help you to get some face to face support locally.

I'm sorry for what you're going through, but your daughter is an adult and has to take care of this on her own. You can let her know you love her and are very proud of how she has taken care of herself all this time. That you'll support her in whatever treatment method she seeks, that you'll encourage her, talk to her by phone (if applicable), whatever you can to let you know she is a strong, intelligent, loved daughter!