sca555

Hi my name is scott I joined to us army when i turned 18 and when i was 19 i married my current wife and we had a beautiful boy( 29 june 2009) during my first deployment my wife had gotten addicted to percasets 10mg 325's. When I came back here to the states is when I found out that she was on pills and tryed helping her which i thought it was helping and everything was fine but because she has a knee injury she gets them from her doctor (180) a month and she always refill a week early. She's always in the bathroom at home and where ever we go she's always in the bathroom and then my second deployments comes and she's still doing them. During my deployment i send $1200 a month plus i pay for her phone and car payments and insurance during the 5 years we've been together she's never had a job. My son is 3 years old now and she's still doing it and im sorry for all the people that have something to do with percasets but i think its disgusting. The money i saved during my last deployment, i came home and found out she spent every penny of it on i don't know and now i go to school full time for my assosciates degree in business managment and i work 60 hrs. a week and i went from army enlisted to ny army national guard so i do that 1 weekend a month and my wife still doesn't work and when she's watching my son im scarried that my son is in danger with her getting high off of her percasets when im at work. I'm only 23 years old and there's alot more then what i wrote. I just caught her 5 mins. ago crushing a pill in the bathroom with a card and a tube next to it and she told me that its not what it looks like and she will not go to rehab. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I REALLY NEED HELP!!!

suki44883

Welcome to SR, sca. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It truly can be a nightmare. It's true that your son very well could be in danger being left alone with an active addict. His safety, of course, is the most important thing. Do you have any family who could possibly watch your son when you are not around? Is there anyone who could check in on him during the day?

Your wife won't benefit one tiny bit from rehab if she isn't ready to stop using, which it doesn't sound as if she is. You will have to find a way to keep your son safe. If your wife wants to continue to use, perhaps you need to make a decision on whether or not you wish to remain in a relationship with her, or at least whether or not you should separate.

You will find a lot of support here and I hope you will use this site to help you make good decisions about yours and your son's well-being. Please read the stickie posts at the top of the forum. You will find a lot of good information there. Again, welcome to SR. We are here to support you.

corriep77

Welcome Scott,
I'm new here too - my husband is addicted to percs. We have small 2 children. He has gone through all of my money. I certainly have no advice, as I am trying to figure out what comes next for us too, but I can tell you that you are not alone. I know exactlyhow scred and alone you feel.
Keep reading and posting here. I really does help.

sca555

Thank you everyone for your support and i wish i've found this forum before and yes im gonna have my sister start watching him while im working starting tomorrow. corriep77 thanks for showing me that im not alone and if you need to talk to anyone you can pm me and if its ok can i and you as a friend.

supportforme

Protect your child. These pills will destroy your life and your child. I stayed for over 3 years trying to help and support my prescription addict and it is a horrible life to live. If she is the primary caretaker, you need to protect your child. I didn't want to believe that my kids were at risk but they were. This addiction progresses. I've finally filed for divorce. I can no longer say I'm a good parent if I put my kids at risk. She could have an accident if she drives your child in the car. Pass out when she should be watching your child. Bring CPS and DFYS knocking at your door - These were all the warnings I received from the wonderful folks on this site and I didn't hear it. Now, I've lived it - all the concerns I listed have all happended to my family and I thank God that I realized it and my children are safe. Please get yourself help and protect your child.

madisonblake

Like everyone else says, please think of your son first. She is not in the right frame of mind to take care of him and he is being endangered. I'm glad to hear that your family can help support you. Just think of what could happen if your son found one of her pills, thought it was a piece of candy and ate it.

kiki5711

you sound like a wonderful man! honorable, motivated, loyal....you will do the right thing, I just know. I bet your parents are proud of you.

best of wishes and lots of strength to you! 88

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR but I am so sorry for the circumstances that bring you here.

Dealing with an addict is difficult at best. For some reason there seems to be a pandemic of prescription drug abuse that leads to addiction. You are definitely not alone. The fact that they are obtaining the drugs legally seems to convince them that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing. Doctors are between a rock and a hard place because their patients tell them that they are in pain.....

Trying to break through the denial of the addict is difficult.....usually impossible. So we get to try to work with our own denial and begin taking care of ourselves and the children. There are things you can do should you choose to such as open an account in your name only and only make a specific amount available to her so that she can't spend it all. Cancel credit cards or confiscate them. Get your son in the care of someone else while you are not around. Take whatever action you need to take to protect yourself and that little boy. Use the resources that are available to you and your family through the military. See if you can find a counselor who specializes in addiction.

Those are some ideas for you.....take what you need and leave the rest. I hope you stick around. Share, ask questions, read, explore, learn. Addiction is a baffling and cunning disease. You are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

Adalie

Welcome Sca555, I'm so sorry to hear what you are dealing with. You are def. NOT alone. As said by everyone above, you need to work on the only things you are in control of, protecting yourself and your child. Your wife is the only one that can help herself, it is important for your sanity to accept that as early as you can wrap your mind around it. Please make sure that your child is safe. As long as your wife is in active addiction she is not capable of being a responsible parent. I'm glad to hear that you have family that can care for our child while you are at work. I would work on limiting the amount of money your wife as access to. Addiction takes over the person, your wife will burn through every penny that is made available to her as her addiction progresses. Addicts are not able to think past getting their next fix, she won't consider that you are working hard for your money, that their are bills that need to be paid, or that your child will need things. Families have lost everything due to a loved one's addiction, I beg you to protect yourself and your child from your wife's life consuming addiction. As stated above, taking away credit cards and limiting her access to bank accounts is a good step to take. Also, make sure anything valuable in the house is secured and not in reach. Addicts will sell anything worth any value when their money runs out. Please seek out any services that are available to you, never underestimate the healing power of counseling, group meetings, or family support.

I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please protect your child at all costs, your wife is not who she used to be, addiction is all consuming.

~ Adalie

crazybabie

Welcome to SR, I am sorry for what your going through, I also would like to say thank you for the work that you do it is obvious that you are a very busy man if you can find and make the time you may want to consider some meetings at Al-anon, Nar-anon or Families Anonymous for yourself.

I am wondering how she gets her refill early that type medication, once written usually can not be refilled until x date.

I am glad your sister is going too help you with your son.