deadcenter

once again my home is in crisis... my son overdosed last night again... no 911 this time.. I just monitored his breathing and let him sleep it off... but in the meantime I searched his room and his car and found his stash box.. and so out the door he goes again... but this time there's no coming back.

my son is 23 years old you see. He has been doing drugs and alcohol since he was 12. As a mother, I did everything there was to do to try and help my son.. therapy.. family counselling... emergency rooms.. detox... rehabs.. AA/NA.. Al-Anon.. everything.. but his drug use continued to increase right up to being an IV heroin user... I threw him out last year for the second time... after he died of an overdose in October of 2010.. then he showed up here and fell asleep.. a needle fell out of his pocket.. we agreed to help him once more and got him on methadone.. but he's continued to use other drugs like meth.. and who knows what he overdosed on last night.. he's doing speed balls.. upper then downer... while he was passed out I searched and found his drugs and needles and such.. when he awoke.. the fireworks began.. but I called for reinforcements.. I had to .. I was afraid.. he was yelling and slamming things.. he took his bags.. but says he is coming back tonight to get more stuff.. my husband is here so I feel safe.. but won't hesitate to call 911 if he gets out of hand... I have been dealing with my sister's addiction to alcohol for over 30 years now.. I had to turn her kids over to CPS.. and they stayed in foster care for two years.. I am the enemy... to both my sister and son... so that is my introduction to the forum... it's nice to be here.

EnglishGarden

We welcome you, warmly. There are many mothers in recovery here, they will share their stories and strength whenever you need support.

You have suffered much. It sounds like it's time for you to plant a new garden of life for yourself. So much withers in the family of addiction.

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR from another mother. I'm sorry that any of us need to be here but I hope you'll find comfort in the company of others who understand what you are dealing with.

Now that he's out and on his own journey again, I hope you will have the opportunity to return your focus back to your own life. This is really tough on a mother's heart. Although I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it's nice to know that we're not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

Justfor1

Many folks on the methadone program like to still use cocaine/meth and benzo type drugs like xanex, valium ect.. Thats what he probably overdosed on.

shockozulu

I'm so sorry to read this. My sister is the addict in my life, and I know that fear. When I was young I had died from an overdose myself (I'm a double winner). You did the right thing, no one should have to wake up to a dead loved one.

Al-Anon has saved my life when I hit recovery and my sister started using. I can't recommend it strongly enough. Remember that Al-Anon and Nar-Anon aren't for the addict, they are for you.

Ilovemysonjj

Hello DC, I am also a Mother living with this pain. My prayers going out to you. There is NOTHING you can do except let him go and get help for YOU.
I wake up every day realizing my son is out there and I so deeply wish I could hug him and see him BUT he is living as an active heroin addict and I have clear boundaries. NO contact with active addiction. In addition, he is the primary suspect in our home robbery which is a further nail in the coffin.

whaty

I am new here, too, and also the mother of a heroin addict. It has been three years and I have done all I can to help him. I finally let go and am trying to get MY life back.

It is so hard but I am fed up, and sick and tired of it all.

washbe2

So sorry for the pain. We moms do addicts understand how you must feel, and we care. Stay strong. Keep coming to this forum. Lots of wisdom here.

Anaya

Welcome! You've landed at a very helpful and supportive site.

I'm so sorry for the pain and disappointment you've experienced (another mom here) and send best wishes for peace and safety.

LoveMeNow

Deadcenter -

I am so sorry for your pain. Please know I will keep you, your son and family in my thoughts in prayers.

LMN

lonelystar

hi and welcome I too am a mom of an addict going on 3 years now, I still trying to find my strength to let him face his consequences its a hard road it seems for all involved but great support here , take care

puddinface

Dead Center....my heart aches for you. All of us moms of addicts have been in your shoes and still are. I just made my son leave my home last Thursday...its tough. But, I realized (with the help of this support group) that I did the right thing for my health and sanity. After many years of giving every kind of support that we could ...we realized that we cant do anything to make a 25 year old man stop using. It became about me...not him. The ball is in his court now to want to get some help. Until that day comes, there will be no living in my home. My prayers are with you and your son.

kiki5711

It's excruciating pain to let go of our children in these situations, but it must be done at some point because if we don't they'll take us down with them, and then nobody will have survived.