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My AH husband passed away.

Old 05-24-2012, 07:00 AM
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I am so sorry. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers...
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:05 AM
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Hug. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Old 05-24-2012, 07:12 AM
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In all the crap and heartache that had happened when AH was alive, I would take that over what I'm going through now. I know that my AH isn't suffering anymore and he is up in heaven.
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:05 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Loneywife View Post
In all the crap and heartache that had happened when AH was alive, I would take that over what I'm going through now. I know that my AH isn't suffering anymore and he is up in heaven.
Hold on to that thought. He is no longer struggling with his addiction. He is at peace. The impact of a sudden death like this completely shakes your world. It feels like somehow the earth should stop spinning for a while to give us a chance to process what has happened.

Take care of you. And know that there are a whole lot of people here who are sending out thoughts of support and prayers for you and all of those who loved your husband.

More gentle gentle hugs
ke
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:17 AM
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I am so sorry LW. Sending you hugs.

M
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Old 05-24-2012, 09:51 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
Hold on to that thought. He is no longer struggling with his addiction. He is at peace. The impact of a sudden death like this completely shakes your world. It feels like somehow the earth should stop spinning for a while to give us a chance to process what has happened.

Take care of you. And know that there are a whole lot of people here who are sending out thoughts of support and prayers for you and all of those who loved your husband.

More gentle gentle hugs
ke
Thank you again. I know that my husband never was in purgatory, he made it right up to heaven, as he had such a positive impact on so many people in his life, including me.

I know we tend to focus on the negative sometimes, but I really did have a lot of good times with AH. My entire honeymoon was bliss with my AH; he was clean and we were hopeful for the future. I can't discount the good times with him.
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Old 05-24-2012, 10:06 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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I hope that you find deep deep sources of love and forgiveness and compassion in the people who surround you. Life, love and death are all a great mystery, lean on the power of spirit and its gifts to help tend to you in your grief. Blessings. Peace.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:31 AM
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((Lonelywife))

I am just now reading this thread - please accept my heartfelt sympathy in the loss of your husband ~

I pray peace and comfort for you and all who love him.

I read on one of the "Grief" threads some very wise words "your loved one was not defined by his disease" ~ I think that justly applies to your husband ~ he was a man that suffered from a disease - but that is not ALL he was ~ I pray that in those moments of overwhelming grief, loneliness and pain, you will be comforted by all his wonderful qualities, smile and knowing that YOU brought him joy also.

sweet & gentle Pink Hugs,
Rita
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Old 05-24-2012, 12:24 PM
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I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as is your AH.

ZoSo
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Old 05-24-2012, 12:42 PM
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I know we tend to focus on the negative sometimes, but I really did have a lot of good times with AH. My entire honeymoon was bliss with my AH; he was clean and we were hopeful for the future. I can't discount the good times with him.
Please cherish the good times with him. This is beautiful.
His sudden death must be so shocking and unbelievable right now.
There are distinctive phases of grief, and I felt them all at different times when my mother passed. It has been ten years, but I always remember her beautiful laugh,
and how she tried so hard to help us, but never gave up.

Bless you and yours LW during this time, and I will be thinking of that blissful young man on his honeymoon.

Beth
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Old 05-24-2012, 08:38 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Thank you all for your support. I am so overwhelmed with the outpouring of love at my husband's wake the past few days. Tomorrow is the funeral and burial. I'm a bit nervous to be honest.

It's been raining where we live only when I've left the funeral home the past few days. I know my husband is crying with God for leaving me (and his dog) behind.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:23 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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I could barely get out of bed this morning for the funeral. I'm just so exhausted.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:28 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Loneywife View Post
I could barely get out of bed this morning for the funeral. I'm just so exhausted.
I am 3,000 miles away from you, but I am there with you in spirit today.
gentle hugs
ke
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:33 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Thank you so much. I am trying to draw on everyone's strength right now. It sucks.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:35 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Im so sorry - thoughts are with you today.
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Old 05-25-2012, 12:17 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Take whatever strength you can from those who offer.
Let them take care of you.
It will be a gift to them to help you now.
When someone asks "What can I do?"
Tell them.
I want some tea and lemon please.
Will you sit here with me?
Is your house full of homemade goodies?
Eat some and ask your friends to put it away for you.
I am not saying take advantage, but let those who want to help, do something for you.

Beth

Here is a hug from Michigan

:ghug3
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Old 05-25-2012, 01:08 PM
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Hello Loneywife, I understand that exhaustion. It is entirely normal and you need to take as much rest as you possibly can. When my Mom passed away a few months ago , I went through that same mental and physical breakdown. I survived the service and as soon as it was over, it was like my entire body just shut down. I spent the next two days in bed. You might find yourself needing more sleep. Please allow your body and heart the time it takes to recover.
Love and Hugs,
Teresa
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Old 05-25-2012, 05:27 PM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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I barely got through today; it was so hard. I couldn't sit through the luncheon after the burial. It was just too hard for me to sit with everyone without my husband there, as he was my buffer for all of my social anxiety.

Thank you all for reminding me that it's ok to ask for help from others. I appreciate it.
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Old 05-25-2012, 06:32 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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I'm so sorry and am sending prayers your way.
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Old 05-25-2012, 06:40 PM
  # 60 (permalink)  
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I'm late in reading this - but I'm praying for you to be comforted. I hope you'll continue to post and reach out to your friends here. Many of us have been through this same thing, and we truly understand. As you said, you'll go through many phases - be patient with yourself as you heal.
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