so manipulative!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
so manipulative!
Wow! Everytime my xah disappoints me I grow further and further away from him. Just 2 weeks ago he canceled one day and was a no show the next. He saw my son last week for his 2 hour supervised visit, and said to my son "next week blah blah". And I thought IF you show up next week. Anyways, its funny as a sober person how nice we are. We try to rationalize, communicate and understand. We have hope and disbelief. And then reality sets in, wow, they are SUCH an addict. Its sad.
I'm pretty strict with my boundries. On the day of visitation he has to call or text to confirm visitation before a certain time. He agreed. But it took him 5 months to realize I was serious. I finally told him that if he was 1 minute late, forget it. Why am I so strict? Because he has abandoned his family. Because I don't trust him. Because he needs to prove himself. Because he thinks he can do whatever he w ants. Anyways, nothing has changed since sept. And, if he cancels on short notice, I don't rearrange or reschedule. Its not fair. He needs to step it up and be a father....which he isn't. He is an addict.
So, today I caught him playing games and was a bit surprised. I don't get mad anymore. I am hoping it will get to a point I will never hear from him again. He is just a waste. So, he texted me 6 minutes after our designated time. Being the sober codie I messed up. I felt. I thought oh why not. So, I said fine, but told him if he was late again forget it. I was expecting a thank you, but got no response. An hour later he asked if it would be better to meet the next day. I knew what was coming and ignored him. 15 minutes later (2.5 hours before visitation) he canceled with no excuse and asked if we could meet tomorrow. I rollled my eyes, was happy I didn't have to see him and ignored him. You just don't do this to your son. Then I thought...ha! His little plan backfired on him. He never wanted to see his son today and was trying to use my boundry against me. Idiot. But, I messed up too. I gave him an inch. Although, it was interesting and mildy amusing it back fired on him. I will NEVER bend a boundry again. EVER. He knows exactly what he is doing.
I'm not mad. I'm not sad. I'm just rolling my eyes. When will he finally disappear?
My son and I deserve better. Thankfully, my son is ok so far.
Dealing with an addict is just crazy!
Just sharing.
I'm pretty strict with my boundries. On the day of visitation he has to call or text to confirm visitation before a certain time. He agreed. But it took him 5 months to realize I was serious. I finally told him that if he was 1 minute late, forget it. Why am I so strict? Because he has abandoned his family. Because I don't trust him. Because he needs to prove himself. Because he thinks he can do whatever he w ants. Anyways, nothing has changed since sept. And, if he cancels on short notice, I don't rearrange or reschedule. Its not fair. He needs to step it up and be a father....which he isn't. He is an addict.
So, today I caught him playing games and was a bit surprised. I don't get mad anymore. I am hoping it will get to a point I will never hear from him again. He is just a waste. So, he texted me 6 minutes after our designated time. Being the sober codie I messed up. I felt. I thought oh why not. So, I said fine, but told him if he was late again forget it. I was expecting a thank you, but got no response. An hour later he asked if it would be better to meet the next day. I knew what was coming and ignored him. 15 minutes later (2.5 hours before visitation) he canceled with no excuse and asked if we could meet tomorrow. I rollled my eyes, was happy I didn't have to see him and ignored him. You just don't do this to your son. Then I thought...ha! His little plan backfired on him. He never wanted to see his son today and was trying to use my boundry against me. Idiot. But, I messed up too. I gave him an inch. Although, it was interesting and mildy amusing it back fired on him. I will NEVER bend a boundry again. EVER. He knows exactly what he is doing.
I'm not mad. I'm not sad. I'm just rolling my eyes. When will he finally disappear?
My son and I deserve better. Thankfully, my son is ok so far.
Dealing with an addict is just crazy!
Just sharing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 271
So crazy..insane actually. I actually forgot what life was really like as I was swept into the vortex. I've given many inches so get it...each time he took 500 miles. Addicts are so smart and cunning but so are we :-)
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