mamabear64

MY almost 21 year old has been sober for 5 MOnths. she did 2.5 months in Residential treatment , then 2 months in a halfway/sober house with daily IOP. She dropped out of that situation and moved in with her Grandmother who is kicking her out after 2 weeks. The girl refuses to look for work . Just wants to 'go to meetings' and hang out and smoke cigs.

She refuses to help her grandmother, won't do a single chore and takes advantage of everyone near her.

When will she be productive? Excuses for everything. Recovery should be about moving forward not just hanging out with a her new sober friends.

bi11fish

I guess as long as the free ride is available she will keep riding, alcoholics and addicts are some of the best manipulators and cons you will ever come into contact with. You state she is sober and going to meetings. Ask her if she has gotten a sponser and started to work the steps. The answer will give you some idea how serious she is about staying sober. The actual "work" of the program will change her attitude and outlook.

Ann

I learned the hard way that "helping them" only helped them avoid taking responsibility for their actions (or lack of actions).

Sadly, she may need to be thrown out before she takes any initiative to take care of herself.

I'm sorry you are going through this, my son is an addict and I know the pain.

Hugs

Freedom1990

I had a full-time job within a week after getting out of rehab as a CNA. I was a single parent and had to be responsible for both of us. I also did a lot of socializing with others in recovery, and a LOT of meetings early on.

My parents were no longer my enablers, and I wanted to move forward with my life and better myself more than anything else in the world.

lesliej

getting a job...taking responsibility, having accountability, showing up, dealing with life on life's terms...the list could go on and on...and it is the list any sponsor or program worth their weight will be checking off with anyone new in recovery

just hanging out is, for one thing, having too much time on your hands...too much idle time in the brain
recovery is not about hanging out
it is about:

CHOP WOOD & CARRY WATER

absolutely!!!