okay this heroin addict is about to drive me crazyyyyyyy
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Newark NJ
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okay this heroin addict is about to drive me crazyyyyyyy
Hi, I was recently in a 5 year relationship with my partner and he is a on and off heroin addict. I will make this short..... we met it was all wonderful till oneday someone saw him in my car with me and latter saw me alone and gave me the business of what my partner was into. basically when we met he never told me about his addiction to heroin it wasnt till 6 months latter after we met i found out..... okay no experience on dating a drug addict so i felt bad because once i approached him about his addiction he told me everything i needed to know. i was SHOCKED.... He snorted heroin.... okay, we go on with our relationship the addict behaviors started to show up and i wasnt sure if he was cheating all i know was he was active again using.... ok, move forward to year 3, keep in mind when he is using he is not around me, he would stay away from me, but this one perticular day he saw me sitting in my car in a park, he started kicking my car and yelling he loves me, a friend that was with him told me he was high. i got him to calm down and he tells me that his addiction is so out of control he is going to north carolina to stay with family. So, he left went to North carolina we was no in a long distant relationship "with a drug addict" ok. so, a year goes by and through out that year he gained alot of weight, looked good, and told me he's not even thinking about drugs. "heroin". now keep in mind he is not in no program or being seen by a professional. He is living with family. He is 35 years old and started using at age 15. ok, I delt with him being gone for 2 years as i didnt mind because he was getting help, supposly getting help. workiing on him. okay two years latter this past 2/2012 he calls me right after his dad passed away and ask me if he could come home. i said yes, when he got here after a day he started acting funny, i know his triggers, so i told him
i dont think it would be a good idea for him to come back not yet anyways. so days go by and he went to his dads services. i have not seen him since as he went back to north carolina did not say good bye nothing. He sends me a message on facebook telling me "we are no longer together" i fell and fell hard. I then tryed calling him he cahnged his number. Basically, i was deceived and betrayed, because i then started investigating the situation i learned he on dating websites trying to hook up with people, i learned that all along while in north carolina he was cheating on me "a Lot" he admitted two times. but it was way more then 2. He plotting and planning stuff behind my back like staying there in north carolina and never returning, but he asked me if he could come back---- i will get to that in a minute. but i learned from his family that he was stealing his father pain medications for cancer and taking them, its crazy. but now he cut me off, after 5 years and said to me "i removed you from mylife" then sending me all kinds of nasty emails not like him. but he has done this before. He tried to blame me for everything saying i never helped him with his addiction and that he has someone else now that he met two weeks after returning to north carolina. but i am not understaning any of this because his family knew what was going on and did not tell me anything. they knew when he asked me to come back that he had a plan to stay living in north carolina. okay now i have no way of contacting him he has cut me out completly, i dont know were he is living. when i called his job they were rude and told me to not call there. he already turned them on me, classic splitting and victim role playing. He is striaght up avoiding me. after 5 years this is all crazy. I am not an addict and bearly drink, so im not understanding any of this. He calims he is not using but his behavior his telling me something different. he did admit to using in 2/2012 so i dont know if his mind is still messed up. but clearly i was deceieved, used, betrayed, what do you all think
i dont think it would be a good idea for him to come back not yet anyways. so days go by and he went to his dads services. i have not seen him since as he went back to north carolina did not say good bye nothing. He sends me a message on facebook telling me "we are no longer together" i fell and fell hard. I then tryed calling him he cahnged his number. Basically, i was deceived and betrayed, because i then started investigating the situation i learned he on dating websites trying to hook up with people, i learned that all along while in north carolina he was cheating on me "a Lot" he admitted two times. but it was way more then 2. He plotting and planning stuff behind my back like staying there in north carolina and never returning, but he asked me if he could come back---- i will get to that in a minute. but i learned from his family that he was stealing his father pain medications for cancer and taking them, its crazy. but now he cut me off, after 5 years and said to me "i removed you from mylife" then sending me all kinds of nasty emails not like him. but he has done this before. He tried to blame me for everything saying i never helped him with his addiction and that he has someone else now that he met two weeks after returning to north carolina. but i am not understaning any of this because his family knew what was going on and did not tell me anything. they knew when he asked me to come back that he had a plan to stay living in north carolina. okay now i have no way of contacting him he has cut me out completly, i dont know were he is living. when i called his job they were rude and told me to not call there. he already turned them on me, classic splitting and victim role playing. He is striaght up avoiding me. after 5 years this is all crazy. I am not an addict and bearly drink, so im not understanding any of this. He calims he is not using but his behavior his telling me something different. he did admit to using in 2/2012 so i dont know if his mind is still messed up. but clearly i was deceieved, used, betrayed, what do you all think
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Newark NJ
Posts: 16
also, i confronted the family and they are covering up for him. I recently approached the mother and she lied for him. supposly i am not the only one he cut off there are other family members. but these people all lie just like him. They all have an addiction of some kind, however i did get them to admit he was cheating and whats so crazy they know the person. but hey he is refusing to call me, and said he dont know what to say, iam in a state of confussion not shocked anymore. all this is crazy
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: OH
Posts: 23
Here's what to do. Thank God that you don't have kids with him, and cut all ties. If he calls, don't answer. So long and good riddance.
Ok, that might sound harsh. But I'm married to a heroin addict. It's a progressive thing. If he was snorting two years ago, he's likely shooting now. You don't want to have your life entangled with someone who's wrapped up in that. His not talking to you anymore is a gift. Take it and run.
Ok, that might sound harsh. But I'm married to a heroin addict. It's a progressive thing. If he was snorting two years ago, he's likely shooting now. You don't want to have your life entangled with someone who's wrapped up in that. His not talking to you anymore is a gift. Take it and run.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
hi, it also seems like a gift to me. i was married(in and out, on and off), to an addict for 24 yrs, it was a total nightmare that progressively got worst. he'll more than likely check back with you from time to time, yr after yr, for as long as you allow it, just in case he wanna use you some more, sorry to say.
you deserve better, try to cut that loss and no that you are the winner in this.stop his madness, focus on you and and one day at a time, move on. his actions has nothing to do with you, so dont take the blame. i'll keep you and him in my prayers
you deserve better, try to cut that loss and no that you are the winner in this.stop his madness, focus on you and and one day at a time, move on. his actions has nothing to do with you, so dont take the blame. i'll keep you and him in my prayers
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
all this is crazy
You can get off the crazy train anytime you want to.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: May 2012
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@ anvilhead, i hear you. However, at the time i didnt know what was going on. Thats why i called his job i was polite i asked for him. But i found out the truth to everything and he knows now that I know. So yes, he is a done deal. I will never, ever, ever, ever allow myself to deal with that again. he is 35 years old, lets do the math----- more then liekly the damage that has been done on the inside of his body during his 15 years of heroin use i will not be surprised if i set a call from his family in the near future giving me the bad news. None of this has anything to do with me..... Not onething and i really hate when people blame me...... i did nothing wrong by calling his job or speaking with his family, i dont see any harm in that, but apparently they had something to hide and i found out wat it was
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Originally Posted by rjamal 
@ anvilhead, i hear you. However, at the time i didnt know what was going on. Thats why i called his job i was polite i asked for him. But i found out the truth to everything and he knows now that I know. So yes, he is a done deal. I will never, ever, ever, ever allow myself to deal with that again. he is 35 years old, lets do the math----- more then liekly the damage that has been done on the inside of his body during his 15 years of heroin use i will not be surprised if i set a call from his family in the near future giving me the bad news. None of this has anything to do with me..... Not onething and i really hate when people blame me...... i did nothing wrong by calling his job or speaking with his family, i dont see any harm in that, but apparently they had something to hide and i found out wat it was
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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"what do you all think"
I think you made a good decision to come here. Hopefully you will learn from the experience of others.
I think you made a poor decision 4 1/2 years ago when you chose to continue the relationship when you found out he was an active addict.
I think you did try to have a long distance relationship with a drug-addict thief that was cheating on you.
I think you did a great job telling him he couldn’t stay when he started acting funny.
I think you are incredibly naďve to think his family would put you before him.
I think you have been given a new lease on your precious life and you are choosing to play “stalker ex-girlfriend victim” instead.
I think you need to open your eyes, work on yourself-esteem, and prepare for the very real possibility that he will be calling you in the future only because he needs something, not because he cares. You will need to be way stronger than you are now to resist.
Good luck to you.
I think you made a good decision to come here. Hopefully you will learn from the experience of others.
I think you made a poor decision 4 1/2 years ago when you chose to continue the relationship when you found out he was an active addict.
I think you did try to have a long distance relationship with a drug-addict thief that was cheating on you.
I think you did a great job telling him he couldn’t stay when he started acting funny.
I think you are incredibly naďve to think his family would put you before him.
I think you have been given a new lease on your precious life and you are choosing to play “stalker ex-girlfriend victim” instead.
I think you need to open your eyes, work on yourself-esteem, and prepare for the very real possibility that he will be calling you in the future only because he needs something, not because he cares. You will need to be way stronger than you are now to resist.
Good luck to you.
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@anvilhead----- nope, he played himself....... and he is playing that other person,,,,,,... yes that door is shut...... and i strongly again disagree with you, calling someones job is not crossing the line, he called my job all the time to speak with me,,,, and speaking to his family why not..... but again i see nothing wrong with that. and no he played himselg he has no education, he dropped out of school after completing the 8th grade... me i have a wonderful life, i have three college degrees. I been doing me,
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lol iam not a stalker. I was dealing with a heroin addict who has a dual diagnosis and i believe is a socail path..... nope, he is the one playiing victim..... but it dont matter like i said i was blessed with a good life..... he is 35 years old and been using heroin for 15 years actullly 16....... he is a loser and i always told him that...... a loser.......
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@anvilhead yes your correct in what your saying, and yes we were together for 5 years. and the reason i contacted him is because something came up missing from my house. and don't get me wrong i dont hate him, i just think he is a horrible person to be in a relationship with. and honestly i was in the relationship yes, but i was ALWAYS doing things to better mylife and today i have a wonderful life because of my progression and progress to work around his lifesytle which had nothing to do with me, and i refused to get involved with his addiction. and I have been trying to get him out mylife for 4 years. and i sucessfully finally did it by standing up and saying no more. I left him. right after his father passed away and when i saw he didnt cahnge i told him no he couldnt live with me and i moved alone. i was getting information from college friends in north carolina about him and his social life and he didnt change but he never knew that whole time. so as it stands right now yes im more confused about the addiction to heroin and what it does to someone mind then him, at this point he has given up on himself, his life and his short comings will come to haunt him.
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@anvilhead....He is in survival mode...... he knows and knew i would not put up with his BS and would put him right out of my house. Now, his family yea they all cover up for him but they not dum they wouldnt even let him in there homes to live. so what is this addict to do........... cheat......... he had to cheat to find someone who he can leach off of and use because im not having all that in my house. and after his father died he has no other choice but to find someone else to give him security........ he is an addict this is wat they do
I'm no angel!
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If you happy and content with your life, then why are you checking up on him? Calling him because there is something missing from your house...from 2 years ago...is just an excuse to contat him. Logically what you are saying makes no sense.
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@doolydo- no, we just broke up recently, he moved to north carolina two years ago to so call get himself clean from heroin. but he found out that just moving to another state and not getting into a drug program did not help him. honestly he got worst. but we broke up recently. and when he was last at my home about a month ago i saw somethings of great vaule missing.
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